Polyamory

Why not try it?

Is monogamy realistic in these times? Isn’t it an outdated tool of patriarchy? Gay men have long pioneered new types of relationships. Open relationships abound. And they bring happiness and fulfillment. But Gay Polyamory takes things to another level. This means it’s still widely misunderstood and unfairly judged. Our quick guide to Gay Polyamory shows you what to expect when the maxim is The More the Merrier.

Think monogamy and you see an old married couple. They’ve been together for 50 years. It looks very respectable. And cosy. Or just boring. But they made marriage vows so they remain together. Even if spousal murder is often on their minds. Monogamy is when a person has only one intimate partner at any one time. The majority of people practice it. Many appallingly. Many others think it’s a myth. Enter a bold, even radical alternative. Gay Polyamory. This gay couple has multiple intimate partners. Types of polyamorous relationships vary. But the common denominator is the belief that an individual can’t be satisfied by only one partner. Not on every level: sexual, emotional and intellectual. To list just a few.

Trust, honesty and freedom characterise polyamorous relationships. The couple has agreed that they’re in romantic and/or sexual relationships with other people. Crucially, this isn’t the same as cheating. Or an open relationship. Or the neighbourhood sex swingers. For a great example of the challenges and joys of Gay Polyamory, check out Gays.com column Three Boys and a Cat.

The hard and fast rule. Don’t choose polyamory to fix a failing relationship. A sticking plaster alone can’t heal wounds. You must genuinely believe in Gay Polyamory. And that’s not the same as pretending you believe in it because your partner does. Are you an excellent communicator? Do you feel secure in your existing relationship? Are you ready to be completely honest even if it hurts your partner’s feelings? Do you think you’ll be happy seeing your partner find happiness with other men? Moreover, do you have the self-awareness to tackle jealousy and other tricky emotions as they arise? Which they will. Yes? A Gay Polyamorous relationship may be for you. Want to know more about what to expect before committing? Find guys practicing Gay Polyamory in Gays.com chat rooms.