The queer community stereotype power bottoms as being totally subs in the sack. In reality, PBs usually take charge during sex; playing a bossy and dominant role to get the dick they want. Indeed, as Alex Hopkins explains, the real definition and meaning of being a power bottom is much more nuanced...


Peruse any gay dating site or app and you’ll encounter multiple self-proclaimed power bottoms. But, in reality, probably few of these guys would cut the mustard as the genuine article. A bona fide power bottom is indeed a rare find. A true anal artist, he’s usually spent years perfecting the craft of cock-taking. And, most importantly, he does it on his own terms. 


Power bottoms: definitions and myths

Definitions vary, as do misconceptions. And these have undeservedly given the power bottom a bad rep. Perhaps part of the problem is that we gays tend to diss those amongst us who are getting more or better cock than we are. 

And power bottoms certainly revel in receiving the most thorough and merciless of poundings. Consequently, the unbridled joy with which their legs spring into the air sees them dismissed as effeminate, selfish and super submissive



Judgy and jealous onlookers claim that this type of bottoming is about greed. About quantity over quality. About guys being fucked as much as possible. And by the largest imaginable dicks. But there’s far more to the definition of power bottoming than this. So, let’s probe a little deeper and unpack this overused and misunderstood term. 


What is a power bottom really?

Power bottom: the clue is in the name. A power bottom is passive only in the sense that he’s on the receiving end of a hot beef injection. But in every other way, he’s arguably active. Why? Because he subverts the familiar top-bottom power dynamic, which puts the top firmly in control. Here’s how:


1. Banishing bottom shaming

Bottom shaming centers around the misogynistic myth that bottoms are effeminate. This can be traced as far back as ancient Greece. And, despite huge advances in LGBT+ rights, such prejudice sadly lingers. 

Power bottoms take pride in a pounding!


But a power bottom actively challenges it. In literally taking it ‘like a man’ and rejoicing in a rampant railing, he's confronting centuries of deep-rooted societal homophobia. And often moving beyond internalized homophobia. No mean feat.


2. Challenging prejudice with pride

Loud and proud, a power bottom consistently refuses shame and inaccurate stereotypes thrust upon him. Topping this list is the idea that he’s overwhelmingly selfish. That he only ever bottoms. And that he cares only for his pleasure. 



But this conveniently ignores the fact that an experienced power bottom knows how to pull out the stops to maximize both his – and his top’s – enjoyment. 


3. Submissive sluts?

Whores. Sluts. Piggies. Complete subs. These are a few of the slurs directed at power bottoms. But what they miss is that bottoming is never based solely on the number of partners one has. 

Yes, a power bottom is often ever-ready and hungry to get railed. His appetite for dick is frequently formidable. He goes at it like a well-oiled fuck machine. His skill is second to none. And he can often take it for extended periods. But none of these things necessarily mean he has an endless list of different gentleman callers forming a disorderly queue at his back door. 


“A power bottom is passive only in the sense that he’s on the receiving end of a hot beef injection. But in every other way, he’s arguably active.”


And nor do they mean he’s a complete sub. Because these specimens of bottoms skillfully play with ideas of submission. And it’s always them, not the tops, who decide what submissiveness looks like. In steadfastly shattering such stereotypes, these bold bottoms create their own definitions. Look at it as a fierce form of reclamation, based on self-worth and agency. 


4. In control, cerebral and carnal 

All power bottoms have one thing in common. They seize control during sex, unapologetically calling the shots. And this makes them the antithesis of so-called pillow princesses, who lie back and lamely take the porking they’re given.

But, crucially, true power bottoming isn’t just about bodily mechanics. It’s as cerebral as it is carnal. It celebrates a mindset that confidently says, ‘I’m in control over what I do with my body. And what’s done to it.’ It’s about finding your authentic sexual voice. And this takes time, courage, and, happily, lots of practice. 

Power bottoms often seize control during sex


5. Cunning cock destroyers!

So, what does this look like in the sack itself? A power bottom may literally be voraciously vocal, plainly stating what the top should do. And curtly telling him when he gets it wrong. But above all, these bottoms commonly bring assertiveness, even a degree of aggression to sex. Expect them to ride like bucking broncos. And demand ever wilder sexual positions. 


Whatever the scenario, they'll always lead the way, introducing the top to a whole new sphere of sexual delights. And the top best brace himself. Because a power bottom isn’t known as a cock destroyer for nothing. Don’t be surprised if he rides that ramrod to within an inch of its life.


Is a power bottom always a size queen?

Sure, some power bottoms won’t even sniff an appendage that doesn’t resemble a baby’s arm. But others are quite content with something smaller. Indeed, they may find this easier to accommodate for longer. Additionally, remember that it’s the whole package that makes a guy attractive. Yep, his dick. But also his face. His body. His lips. And his energy. 


“Judgy and jealous onlookers claim that this type of bottoming is about greed. About quantity over quality. But there’s far more to the definition of power bottoming than this.”

Energy and chemistry are especially important, says Carl (not his real name), a power bottom I met many years ago. “I need tops who get that I’m in the driving seat, who are happy for me to direct,” I recall him telling me in a typically uncompromising fashion. “It’s taken me a long time to become this confident about what I want sexually, and I need partners who get that, and get off on me surprising and exciting them.”


Be a better power bottom: 6 tips

Here are six top tips for tantalizing that top and going from bottom to power bottom:


  • Exercise Serious stamina is vital. So, hit that gym. From barbell squats to dumbbell lunges, train that bubble butt to greet and grip the most momentous of members.
  • Diet, douching and digestion It takes discipline and plenty of prep to jump into action at a moment’s notice. And this means paying close attention to diet, digestive health and anal douching.
  • Mirror, mirror on the wall Demonstrate your sexual showmanship by watching yourself in a mirror while at it. Observing every thrust and quiver isn’t just intense and hot. It’ll also prompt further sexual exploration.
  • Sexual ingenuity Forget tired old doggy and explore new ways to strut your stuff in the sheets with imaginative new gay sexual positions. Cement those cock destroyer credentials by finding the positions that let you push down hard and fast on a top's cock. 
  • Dirty talk Take charge and set expectations by unleashing your filthiest imagination verbally. employ dirty talk both before and during sex.
  • Sample sex toys Whatever role you envisage for your hole there’s a sex toy to assist. Practice with prostate massagers, butt plugs and dastardly dildos. But up the ante slowly. 


The bottom line: gay power bottoms

Power bottoming isn’t just a sexual act but an attitude. It's an art to master and a radical way of disrupting prejudice. All while getting fabulously filthy and burning thousands of calories. And what’s not to love about that?




But be warned, it’s not for the timid. And merely a few memorable fuck marathons do not a power bottom make. But, with some serious long-term work and the right mindset you too can join this much-coveted team of supreme sexual athletes! •

Are you a gay power bottom? Or a top hard enough to have taken one on? Share your story below...

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