Who hasn’t, at some point, had fantasies about being controlled or being controlling? The gay scene is full of opportunities for those into BDSM – but how do you start exploring your kinkier side? Let our guide show you the way…

 

Dom and Sub


Dominance and submission are the two vital components in BDSM, where one partner is psychologically and physically submissive to the other. It’s up to you how heavy your scene is. We’re talking everything from a few light slaps to trampling over a naked body in six-inch stilettos - and much more besides. But remember, everything should be built upon trust and agreed boundaries. 

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Spanking

You don’t have to be a BDSM expert to get into this - many of us have indulged in a bit of light ‘whip crack away’ in the boudoir, and a few well-aimed slaps on the buttocks or thighs can heat things up. But for those choose to explore this scene is more depth, there are any number of whips, paddles, belts and even kitchen utensils you can put to good use as you master your technique.
 

Scarves


Start gently with the things you already have around the house. Experiment and find out what you like before investing. The odious colored scarf that you got last Christmas can finally be put to good use. The same goes for ties and pieces of cloth. Get inventive.


 

Blindfolds


Blindfolds give you a license to let your fantasies run wild, and surprise is a great turn on. By allowing yourself to be blindfolded, you’re shutting off one of your most vital senses and putting yourself in the power of another. That mixture of expectation and vulnerability can be thrilling. In placing you in the realms of the unfamiliar, it also heightens all of your other senses, allowing you to discover and explore a whole new world of eroticism. Just don’t practice it at the top of a staircase – and agree on boundaries before being plunged into darkness.



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Handcuffs

Who hasn’t dreamt of a wild encounter with some super-hot cop down a dark back alley? Oh, officer, cuff me and take me across the bonnet of your big car! Handcuffs are your next step up after experimenting with scarves and ropes and can be trusted to spice things up in the bedroom. Just make sure your headboard is robust, agree on boundaries, and for god’s sake don’t lose the key!

 


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