Transgirls

Widely admired

Gone are the the days when gay dating sites were the domain of cisgender gay men only. Happily, they are now often a safe space for Gay Trans men and their many admirers too. But despite advances in equality, prejudice sadly remains. And we all have a duty to challenge it, both online and in the real world. Let’s take a look at the things you should know about building a mutually fulfilling relationship with a Gay Trans man.

Firstly, transgender refers to an individual’s gender identity. It does not describe their sexual orientation. The two are distinct. Secondly and joyfully, this means that you can be gay and also trans. A Gay Trans man was born a woman. But he now lives as a man. And he is sexually attracted to men. The emphasis is on a person's lived gender and inner world.

Transphobia stems from ignorance as well as hate. It is normal to have questions when you start dating. Voice them. Talk things through. But always do so in a measured and respectful manner. Crucially, you must be sure that you are dating a Gay Trans man for the right reasons. For example, it is not acceptable to treat him as your plaything. He is not an object for you to use to fulfill your fantasies. Moreover, do not medicalise his identity. Think beyond body parts. Think about the emotional life and needs of your new partner. Leave your assumptions behind. Open a dialogue. You have a responsibility to understand the journey that a Gay Trans man has gone on. And that journey is different for every person. You can now be a part of it. And that's a privilege.

Communication and respect are also essential when it comes to sex. Gay men tend to be obsessed with monumental phalluses. And where they can stick them. But sex is so much more than just penetration. Think outside of your usual boxes - literally. Dating a Gay Trans man has the potential to change how you view sex and bodies. And this makes it hugely exciting and transformative - for you both.