If you believe everything you see in porn, sex is always hot and perfectly synchronized. However, as we all know, the reality is usually different. We take a tongue-in-cheek look at seven awkward sex moments. How many have you had?
Watching too much porn can give you a distorted view of sex. More… Performers with the 'perfect' bodies fucking in the most orgasmic positions and producing the hardest and longest cumshots. It's enough to make anyone feel inferior. But let's not forget that porn if fiction: it's a story involving actors and incorporating multiple cameras, reshoots and editing. You think porn actors don't face awkward sex moment like failing to get a hard-on? Er, that's why the fluffer exists.
As us non-porn people can contest, non-staged sex can often be awkward and graceless. Think terrible kissing techniques, shriveled dick syndrome, and farting – or worse, sharting! – while being fucked. The trick to dealing with clumsy sex is either to laugh it off, or – if it's a chronic issue with a regular partner – practicing to make perfect.
Awkward sex: 7 boner-killing moments
So, whether you're being clumsy with your cock or bungling with your butt, here are seven awkward gay sex moments that you may come across. Which of these have you experienced and which would you add to the list? Share your clumsy cocktails with the community at the end of the article!
1. You’re going to do what with that?
We’ve all been there. You’ve picked up a hunk in the bar and dragged him back to your flat, whipped down his pants and then… Well, things can either go one of two ways. A) What he has between his legs looks like a stunted carrot from your grandfather’s allotment, or B) his bulging bratwurst is liable to send you to hospital with mangled kidneys. Which would you prefer?Awkward sex: busted butt anyone?
2. Beware the hair
One of the delights, but also perils, of the male form, is facial hair, and there’s a fine line between the erotic sensation of it gently rubbing against your skin and second-degree burns on your bell-end. Then, of course, there’s that all-too-common awkward sex issue of pubic hair stuck between your teeth or in your mouth. One or two can sometimes be an unfortunate inevitability, but you don’t want to look like a semi-starved cow chewing rampantly at the cud. Not everyone wants to burrow deep into the Amazon forest.
3. Taking your time (or not)
That awkward sex moment when you’re just getting your engines revving and you realize you've already blown your gasket. Yep, you’re so turned on that it’s over before it’s begun. Or, equally as undesirable, the complete and utter inability to cum.
Then, of course, there’s the catastrophe of running out of lubricant just as you’re gagging to go for round three. So, don't be a cheapskate: stock up on a large supply of bottled lube to avoid any inelegant fumbling.
6. Piercings and punctures
The unexpected sight of a Prince Albert is arguably one of the wonders of the world – but do try and keep a tap on your joy. Remember that that shiny, brutal looking piece of metal is attached to something rather delicate – bear this in mind as it rattles around your mouth dislodging your fillings. One misplaced tug and a genital piercing will have you ending up in a most compromising situation.
7. Messy sex
There’s no getting away from it: unless you're a side, gay sex involves butts and can sometimes get messy and therefore awkward. But you should expect the unexpected – and don’t get pissy if your sheets end up resembling a hospital bed following a minor battle in the Crimean War. Accidents will and do happen. If you’re too hung up on not making a mess while you’re banging away, then you really do need to address it. Enjoy the moment!
The bottom line: awkward sex
However much you may crave hot and horny sex, it's almost never like in a porn movie – and why should it be? Because porn is fictional and not real-life. When you have a clumsy moment during sex, instead of freaking out about it, just have a giggle, get over it and move on. So, next time he farts as you're fucking your fella (or anyone), make a joke out of it and put that person at ease! Indeed, laughing during sex is the signal of a great relationship, so keep it frisky yet fun! •Main image: shutterstock/Lopolo
How many of these awkward sex experiences have you had? Got any other funny ones to share? Comment below...

Most of us in the queer community label ourselves as either top, bottom or vers. But what if you don't identify with any of these positions? What if you don't enjoy anal sex at all? Welcome to the world of the gay side – and it can make dating complicated. Alex Hopkins spoke with men who identify More… as sides to discover more.
Is taking a dick up the ass a prerequisite for being a ‘real gay man’? Dating and hook-up site profiles certainly suggest that fucking is foremost in many guys’ minds: Cum dump available. No load refused. Wreck my hole. I could go on…
But are us gay guys really having as much anal as much as we claim? A 2011 study showed that just 35% of guys surveyed had indulged in anal sex during their last sex session. Moreover, some 75% reportedly favored non-penetrative pleasure.
Gay guys who aren’t into fucking have always existed. But they’ve largely done so in silence, fearful of condemnation from their own community. However, this is changing, thanks to a new term used to describe these gay men: ‘sides'.
Where does the term ‘gay side’ come from?
It takes a bold man to coin a term. But this was exactly what Dr. Joe Kort did in 2013 when he outed himself as a gay man who wasn’t into anal sex. The name he gave to men such as himself was ‘sides’.
Kort proceeded to set up a private Facebook group devoted to gay sides and a movement was born. A decade on and now gay sides – too long invisible – are now demanding recognition and slowly getting it. Indeed, Grindr has now added the term ‘side’ to the list of sexual positions its members can choose from.
So, if gay sides aren’t into anal, what do they do?
“Many guys just don’t get it,” says David, 30, who identifies as a side. “They hear I’m not into fucking and can’t grasp what I get up to in bed.”
However, as David notes, there are plenty of other sexual alternatives to plundering the booty. Cuddling, rimming, BJs, 69ing, frottage, handjobs, and all manner of other types of body play can be fixtures in gay side sexual shenanigans.
Hugged happy: gay sides prefer non-anal sex and touch, such as cuddling
“But that's just foreplay, guys often respond,” adds David. “And sure, those acts might be foreplay for many, but for sides, they can give all the sexual, emotional and psychological fulfillment they need.
“The human body is amazing. And it’s packed with erogenous zones. And you know what, they're not all up the arse!”
The stigma of being a gay side
David only recently came out as a side. And he hasn't found the process easy. “It’s an ongoing coming out,” he says. “You have to explain to every guy you meet or chat to that you’re not into fucking. Even some close gay friends don’t get it. It's just not something that's been much discussed in our hypersexual gay male culture.
“I’ve experienced a lot of incomprehension and some outright hostility. Boring, asexual, immature, even a betrayer of the gay cause; I’ve been called it all.”
“It doesn’t help,” says David. “The great thing about being a side is you find other ways of getting sexual pleasure. It’s not about penetration as a means of cumming inside someone. Or breeding as it's called. But on exploring other ways to get there. And the emphasis, at least with me, has been on that journey of exploration.”
David’s reference to ‘breeding’ – cumming inside another guy’s butt – is interesting. This term is now everywhere in porn. And yet the irony is that it describes, even arguably apes, the most heterosexual of acts: reproduction. Dr. Joe Kort has suggested that defining sex solely in terms of penetration amounts to ‘mimicking patriarchal crap', adding that gay men have the opportunity to reject this and find standards for sexual pleasure.
“I think he's right,” says David. “Sides can be quite revolutionary in this way. The whole top or bottom binary just doesn’t work for everyone. And like all binaries, it’s there to be challenged.”
So, how do gay sides find one another?
One of the greatest challenges a gay side has is finding another side. Kort originally addressed this by creating his Facebook group, which now has over 5,000 members. And while Grindr’s new position category helps sides connect, stigma remains.
Moreover, a category is only effective when it’s widely used by those people who also feel they fall into that category. And the fear of being judged or harassed online could well stop sides from self-identifying.
Intimacy and touch is important to gay men who identify as sides shutterstock/Rawpixel
“There are loads of sides out there,” says Phil. “But tracking them down remains tricky. We’re still fearful of being rejected if we reveal what we’re into – or what we’re not into.”
Finding and maintaining long-term relationships is also a challenge, adds David. “A side often has to compromise. For example, I was with one guy and because I wasn’t into anal and he really wanted it, needed it, we opened our relationship up. It’s wasn’t easy.”
However, when two gay sides do meet and hit it off, the bonds can be exceptional. “There’s a sense of kinship, mutual understanding and intimacy that’s frequently much stronger than what you have between a top and a bottom,” says David.
Gay sides: the (not so) bottom line
The queer community’s strength has always been in its diversity. And yet some of us gays remain needlessly judgy of each other. Particularly when it comes to sex.
The growing conversation about gay sides represents an opportunity to discover new possibilities for pleasure and connection. Far from being dismissed, this should be embraced and championed. •
Main image: shutterstock/Krakenimages
Are you a side seeking meaningful connections? Have you struggled to be accepted in the LGBTQ+ community because of your sexual preferences? Share with the community below.

London is well-known for its amazing LGBTQ+ life, but how do its gay saunas or bathhouses compare since the closure of the once-almighty Chariots? From Sweatbox Soho to Sailors to Legs 800, here's our review of the current best gay saunas in London, the UK's capital of cool.
For years, the Chariots More… chain dominated London's gay sauna scene, boasting enormous and penis-packed venues in Shoreditch, Waterloo, Vauxhall, and beyond. However, when Chariots went into administration in 2021, it permanently closed all its saunas – meaning gays across the UK capital and beyond wept tears of sadness.
Indeed, branches of Chariots used to be all over London – like a fast food chain for fellatio. However, its collapse has actually been positive: in 2023 the remaining gay saunas in London are busier than ever. Many have had to improve facilities to attract those of us who now have the choice of using gay dating apps or exploring London's gay cruising areas instead.
Indeed, there are still many bathhouses to visit in the capital. Gay saunas in London generally offer a great range of well-maintained facilities and many also open late or even 24-hours. Furthermore, membership is usually not required. Minimum age is 18, so if you're lucky enough to look young, ensure you bring a valid photo ID to guarantee entry.
One of the highlights of the London gay sauna scene is that it reflects the city's diverse community. Central London's Sweatbox Soho, Pleasuredrome and Locker Room saunas cater to a more mainstream crowd, while Legs 800 in the East End caters for a bi/TV/TS crowd.
Best gay saunas London: our Top 7
Need to let off some steam after a hard day of work or exploring the UK capital? Here – in no particular order – are the seven best gay saunas London has to offer. Many of them claim to be the biggest, the best or the longest-running... so, what's the real T?
1. Sweatbox Soho
London gay saunas don’t come much better than Sweatbox. Situated in the gay village of Soho, this queer-run establishment revolutionizes the bathhouse experience: it’s a sauna and a gym rolled into one. indeed, facilities in this London gay sauna include a fully-equipped gym, large café bar, 30-man Jacuzzi, three steam rooms, and a large Turkish hotroom.Wanna pump? The gym at Sweatbox Soho sauna. Image courtesy of Sweatbox
One of the best things about Sweatbox Soho is that is open non-stop: 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Furthermore, you can join as a member (£75 a month/ £750 yearly) or choose from a variety of passes letting you, ahem, come and go as you please – 24h (£20), 48h (£25), or – perhaps the best option if you're visiting London on hols – £45 for a weekly pass. Sweatbox Soho also regularly hosts free nights for those under 25 on a Monday/Thursday and midweek foam parties on the appropriately-named hump day (Wednesday).
One downside about the E15 Club is that is not open 24-7 – unlike many other London gay bathhouses – so best to check closing hours in advance, but it usually closes 21:00 Monday-Friday, 20:00 Saturday and 21:00 on Sunday. General admission is £16.50 and £14.50 for concessions.Let off some steam in a London bathhouse
One cool bonus E15 Club offers is Happy Hour slots which allow two hours of entry for just £8.00 – perfect for when you want to relax, get off and then go! This gay sauna is about a 15-min walk from Stratford Tube or Overground station, and just a few minutes stroll from Maryland Overground.E15 Club. 6 Leytonstone Road, Stratford, London E15 1SE. Nearest Tube: Stratford (or Maryland Overground)
7. Legs 800
Just up the road from the E15 Club in Walthamstow you'll find Legs 800 – but the vibe here is entirely different! That's because Legs 800 is a dual-role gay and bisexual sauna and TV/TS club venue. Legs 800 operates as a mixed gay/bi sauna every day of the week apart from Thursday and Saturday nights when it transforms into the Legs 800 TV/TS and admirers club.
Facilities at the huge, 3,000 sq ft Legs 800 venue include the usual sauna and steam room, lounge, bar area, dark rooms, as well as private restrooms. There is also a pretty cool makeshift dungeon area! The venue is kinda hidden and discreet, but the number 800 is easy to spot, as is the blacked-out shopfront windows. In terms of facilities, do not expect to find luxury at Legs 800, but that's really not why you are coming here. You're coming for that inclusive, open, diverse and community-feeling.Legs 800. 800 Lea Bridge Road, Walthamstow, London E17 9DN. Nearest Tube: Walthamstow Central
The bottom line: best gay saunas in London
It's fair to say the closure of gay bathhouse chain Chariots was a blow to London's sauna scene in terms of variety and locations, but it hasn't been all bad news – as there are now fewer saunas for the queer community to choose from, it means the remaining ones are actually busier than ever.
Likewise, it's also meant that newer venues have opened or older bathhouses are having to step up their game in terms of improving facilities to attract punters. Better still, the great thing about London's best gay saunas is that they reflect the diverse community of the UK's capital city. Expect to find all types of gay, bi and MSM – across all races, cultures and tribes. •
What did you think of our review of the best gay saunas in London? Agree or disagree? Share your thoughts with the community below...

Over-rated!

Being in a long-distance gay relationship comes with unique challenges. Alex Hopkins shares seven ways you and your man can keep the flame alive while you're physically apart.
Whether you've been in one yourself or only heard about them from a friend, everyone knows making long-distance More… relationships work can be tricky. And gay long-distance relationships have their own set of unique challenges which we have to deal with. In fact, tuning long-distance can often sound the death knell for a previously healthy and fulfilling relationship. However, it doesn't have to be that way.
There are a whole multitude of reasons why existing couples sometimes end up turning long-distance. Perhaps one of you has to move location because you've been offered an amazing promotion, or maybe you want to move back to be closer to your family, or maybe you want to work remotely and see more of the world.
Or, perhaps you and your fella are just starting your relationship and just so happen to live in different places. Maybe you met when you were visiting a city and now you are trying to negotiate how the hell you can make a gay long-distance relationships work for you both? Whatever your situation, here are seven tips to bear in mind...
Gay long-distance relationships: 7 tips
Of course, with WhatsApp and FaceTime in your back pocket, keeping in touch has never been so easy. Your partner is only ever a few seconds away. But nothing can beat seeing their face, their smile as they tell a joke, their eyes sparkle as they look at you. So it makes sense to set aside a specific time to Skype or FaceTime with your partner.
1. Keep jealousy abay
Let’s face it; this is one of the factors we’re all anxious about in a long-distance gay relationship. Will our beloved be whipping off his pants and getting his cock out for all and sundry on the other side of the world? It all comes down to trust.
Just how solid is your relationship? Do you think it can withstand the long-distance challenge? These are the questions you need to have in an open and honest discussion before you embark upon a long-distance relationship. Communication is essential for gay LDRs shutterstock/Twinsterphoto
It’s normal to be a little jealous, but you need to keep things in perspective. The first thing you may wish to do is discuss with your partner whether a long-distance relationship also means an open relationship. Are you both allowed to fuck with others? If so, what are the boundaries and will you tell each other about it?
Consider granting your partner freedom of choice. Allow them to do whatever they wish – but be clear what the consequences will be to your relationship. You both need to agree on these. Then you need to minimize temptation – for both of you.
2. Reconsider sexual boundaries
You’re a human being – and, more importantly, a gay man – so stop pretending not having sex is not going to be a problem. When it comes to gay long-distance relationships, you must set ground rules from the start. Will you open your relationship up temporarily while you’re separated? If so, what will that involve? For example, will repeat performances with the same guy be permitted?
Your challenge is to stay sane and accept that he's just having fun. Don’t become paranoid. But at the same time, both of you need to limit opportunities for extra-curricular activities – 48-hour benders are not the way to go – especially after you’ve had the afore-mentioned fight.
6. Plan for the future
If you’re entering or moving into a long-distance relationship, the ideal scenario is to know how long you’re going to be separated. It helps you keep a vital sense of perspective.
MORE LIKE THIS:
Gay Relationship Advice: 6 Top Tips
Gay Roleplay: 9 Sexy Porn Scenarios to Kink Things Up
6 Essential Gay Couple Goals
Are you going to be apart for a set period of time? Is there a good reason for this? And is this a good reason for both of you? Mutual respect and understanding about why you’re here are integral to the success of a long-distance gay relationship – as is the knowledge that one day, not too far away, you’ll be reunited in a rampant celebratory frenzy of romance and filthy fucking!
7. Miss him unbearably
The greatest challenge of them all: you miss him like crazy. You think about him all the time. You physically ache for him. The good news: these are the feelings that are going to keep you together, no matter what. You’re in it for the long haul here.
Miss him but make sure you stay in touch
But what can you do to ease the loneliness and the incredible longing for him? Devote yourself to activities for a set period – say 30 minutes or an hour. Logic says that eventually, you’ll start to see time as limited – including the time that you’re apart from your man. It’ll also help to divide time into intervals and just concentrate on that particular moment. And, above all, do the things that make you happy.
The bottom line: gay long-distance relationships
Making any relationship work requires constant effort, understanding and commitment. Chuck distance into the mix and you're going to have to go the extra mile to make things work. But it is possible. As queer men we have unique experiences and desires when it comes to sex, and this can often play a key factor in whether gay relationships can work long-distance. But by following our tips you will stand a decent chance. •Main image: shutterstock/Prostock-studio
Have you been in a long-distance relationship? Share your advice on how to make it work in the comments below...

Planning on getting fit for 2023? If you’ve joined the gym or classes in the past but have become disillusioned with your results, read on. Personal trainer Arash Nassir-Pour shares his getting-in-shape secrets – and it's all about preparation and so-called SMART goals.
Whenever I work with a More… client, the first thing I ask them is what they want to achieve. However, all too often I receive vague responses like: 'fitter', 'bigger', 'firmer' or 'thinner'. As with any aspect of life, if you don't focus on what you really want to achieve, you're unlikely to get it. So, to help focus on your fitness and gym goals, I’ve prepared some helpful tips and common sense ways to make a difference in your training – and to help keep you motivated along the way.
Whether you want to lose weight, tone up or gain bulk in 2023, deciding on your final goal is key. Some important questions to ask yourself then are: ‘Do I want to lose weight?’ If yes, how much exactly? ‘Do I want to tone up?’ If yes, then what specific areas of your body do you want to work on? ‘Do I want to gain bulk?’ If so, how much and where? Then you need to consider what your timescale is to achieve these things. Is it realistic?Get SMART and measure your gym goals
SMART goals for gym and fitness
There’s an acronym I use with my gym and fitness training which is used in many different fields for achieving goals: SMART(ER). It originally comes from Motivational Interview Therapy, a therapeutic model developed to work with people to implement sustainable changes effectively. This model is useful to cement what you want to do and how to get there. Here’s how you can apply SMART(ER) goals to your gym and fitness regime and get the results you want.
1. Specific
Focus on specific areas. If you say you want to “generally look better, tone up a bit”, this isn’t gonna help. Prioritise what would make the biggest difference to you. It's hard to bulk up when you're trying to lose weight, so which is the more important? Or if you want to tone up, is your muffin top your priority or is it your moobs?
2. Measured
The 'M' in SMART goals stands for 'measured'. You've picked your goals, but what is your ultimate end goal going to be? Set a date for your when you hope to complete your body transformation. Be sure to take some measurements of where you are at the start, e.g., weight, body measurements and body fat composition. Also, take photos of how you are now and more as you go along. I'd recommend setting yourself some fitness tests, suggestions below. If you see yourself improving, this will also give you more confidence to keep going and reach your goals.
Quick Fixes For Six Packs – Do They Work?
Hot Fitness Trainers for your Living Room
Quit Your Excuses... Get Fit for Free!
3. Achievable
Unless you’re lucky enough to have nothing going on in your life except exercise, be realistic. Fitting in family, friends, work and hobbies is paramount. If you sacrifice everything for fitness, chances are you’ll push yourself too hard and then fall off your schedule, and then it’s harder to get back on track.
Know how to fit training in with your life and try to pre-empt what barriers could arise, and how you’ll counter those. Consider making a fitness timetable and sticking to it.
4. Realistic
You've got your goal and a time frame, but is it realistic and is it safe? Crash dieting and high-intensity training can have noticeable effects, but also make sustaining these changes very unlikely. If you're working out, make sure you’re getting nutrition and plenty of rest: if you're working out to the point of exhaustion, it won't be long until you make yourself sick. Also, it’s important to know your body type: not everyone can physically achieve the same results as their favorite Instagram crush.
5. Timed
So, the T in SMART goals stands for 'timed'. Now you have your end goal, break it down for some briefer intervals where you can review how you're progressing. If you want to lose two inches off your waist within three months, review if you’re one inch thinner at six weeks – this way you’ll know if you’re on track to reach your goal.
Push up and push on with fitness SMART goals! shutterstock/Ground Picture
6. Evaluate
At your review points, think about how you’re doing. Evaluation will measure if you’re exceeding your targets or have more work to do. If you’ve exceeded things, great. Take the time to celebrate your achievements.
7. Review and revise
This is where you can up the challenge and change your end target if need be. If you’re not reaching where you’d like to be then it’s useful to think about if your goal was unrealistic and review this, or how you can up your efforts to reach your goal. Likewise, if you’re losing weight fast for example, perhaps you want to increase your end goal.
The bottom line: gym SMART goals for fitness
SMART goals are a great way to help your reach your body ambitions and keep you on-track when it comes to your gym and fitness routine. However, if you're still struggling to motivate yourself, group classes can be a great way of encouraging you. Also, having a great personal trainer (like me) can help you make the progress you want. So, what are you waiting for? •
Main image: shutterstock/Elnur
Arash Nassir-Pour is a qualified personal trainer from the UK based in Barcelona, Spain. He's on a quest to follow his dream to work outside in the sun doing what he loves – telling other people to work harder!