Every relationship needs a regular check-up. What can be improved? Where do you go from here? Or maybe there's too much mileage on the clock? Here are six pieces of relationship advice so you can fine-tune your emotional engine to get the best out of your partnership.

Like all relationships in life, gay relationships have their ups and downs. One minute you and your BF may be fucking like bunnies and the next you're having a bust-up about who's cooking tonight's dinner. Navigating these ups and downs is the key to your durability and longevity as a couple. 

Likewise, if you've been together for what seems like for ever, our advice is that it's essential to sit and take stock of your relationship on a regular basis. Is it serving your needs and that of your partner? Or are you feeling smothered? Do you have your own life outside of the relationship? These are all questions that you should both be asking yourselves. 


Gay Relationship Advice: 6 Tips

So, from examining your priorities to never ignoring sex issues, here are six pieces of gay relationship advice you should follow to keep your partnership running smoothly. Consider these tips often when thinking about your relationship.


1. Examine your priorities

Our first piece of advice is: what exactly do you want from your gay relationship? Is what you currently have what you've always dreamed of? If not, then where is it falling short? These are the initial tough questions you and your partner need to grapple with.

Draw up a hierarchy of your needs. Where does your relationship feature alongside work, family, hobbies and friends. If you could hold on to only one thing in life, what would that be?

Together forever? Try our gay relationship tips


2. Assess communication

Effective communication is the key to the success of a gay relationship (or any relationship come to that). You need to explore the 'how' and 'why' of talking together. Are you sharing your experiences and feelings as often as you used to – or have those awkward silences started to creep in?


“Our first piece of advice is: what exactly do you want from your gay relationship? Is what you currently have what you've always dreamed of? If not, then where is it falling short?”

Then there’s the big question: when did you last tell your partner that you loved him? Or even still found him physically attractive? But communication isn't just about words – it’s also about body language and the little ways you make one another feel comfortable and secure. How much of this is still happening?


3. Never ignore the sex issue

Sex is a huge thing in a gay relationship – and when both the quality and quantity start to deteriorate; it’s a sure sign of trouble. But you also need to face facts: as both you and your relationship age, you’re not necessarily going to be playing hide the salami 24/7 like a horny teenager.



But that doesn’t mean you should give up. Our advice is to urgently address the sex question. Try expanding your repertoire by exploring any gay kinks or fetishes that you have dreamed of doing or haven't had the chance to explore together. For example, always fancied trying BDSM or exploring rubber? Now's the time to bring it up. Again, it all comes back to communication: share your likes, dislikes, and utterly depraved fantasies with one another!
Our advice? Keep your sex life  shutterstock/Lopolo


4. Re-evaluate time

We all know that modern lives are insanely busy – but has this meant that the time you invest in your relationship has started to slide? Who are you spending the most time with – your partner or your boss? And when you do finally have a free moment, do you prefer to spend it alone?


Take a close look at the things you do with your partner. Who makes the decisions? It’s time to seriously rate the mutual enjoyment factor – which brings us on to our next essential piece of gay relationship advice…


5. Beware one-sided scenarios

Just how much does this relationship satisfy your needs? Are you frequently being pushed into situations that you don’t like? Learning to identify passive-aggressive behavior in a gay relationship is the easy part. Acting in response to it, and boldly outlining what is and what is not acceptable, takes courage – but is essential if both the relationship and your sense of self is going to survive. 

“Effective communication is the key to the success of a gay relationship (or any relationship come to that). You need to explore the 'how' and 'why' of talking together.”

If you’re constantly being belittled, patronized or outright insulted in front of friends, we would advise you to address those issues of toxicity at once. 

6. Recognizing the long-haul

Once you’ve thoroughly and brutally weighed up all of the above, you’re in the right place to make that final assessment of your gay relationship. 

The ultimate question: is he for keeps or not? Look at the great things you have together; those that need work and then balance these against both of your expectations for the future. It all comes down to what a relationship means to you. 
The food of love: is he for keeps? shutterstock/Ross Helen

Be fiercely honest about what parts need de-rusting. Only once you’ve established that you’ve got a robust chassis can you brace yourself for the crazy, ever-bending race of love that lies ahead.

The bottom line: gay relationship advice

All relationships we have need work but when two men come together it is a unique coupling with unique needs. If you're having partnership issues then following these six pieces of gay relationship advice should give you food for thought when it comes to improving things with your other half.  • Main image: shutterstock/Krakenimages

What regular check-ups do you carry out to make sure your relationship is working? Let us know in the comments below or share your other gay relationship advice with the rest of the community.

Have your say in the gays.com forum
Images: Model Released @ Shutterstock 

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I think strong communication is the biggest advice I would give when it comes to gay relationships. I've had a few long-term relationships which have crumbled because we never expressed our needs or desires properly... likewise I think I've had some guys I've started to see that we never began dating properly cos we didn't express that we were really into each other. So I'd advise always being open and honest about how you really feel about someone. :):threesome:

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