Let’s face it; this is what we’re all anxious about in a long-distance relationship. Will our beloved be whipping off his pants for all and sundry on the other side of the world? It all comes down to trust.
Just how solid is your relationship? Do you think it can withstand the long-distance challenge? These are the questions you need to have in an open and honest discussion before you embark upon a long-distance relationship.
It’s normal to be a little jealous, but you need to keep things in perspective. The first thing to do is grant your partner freedom of choice. Allow them to do whatever they wish – but be clear what the consequences will be to your relationship. You both need to agree on these. Then you need to minimise temptation – for both of you. So, no more hook-up apps for a start.
Schedule regular cam sex sessions with your beau and discover new ways of keeping things sexy
You’re a human being – and, more importantly, a gay man – so stop pretending not having sex is not going to be a problem. You must set ground rules from the start. Will you open your relationship up temporarily while you’re separated? If so, what will that involve? Will repeat performances with the same guy be permitted?
Of course, the easy solution is to incorporate a regular cam sex session into your diaries. This can be as exciting and risqué as you like. Have fun with it. You may find yourself discovering all manner of new role plays and saucy fetishes.
Before you get frisky over Skype though, you need to have a proper conversation. Being separated means you’re going to have to work harder at this. For one thing, you lose much of the body language and all the touchy-feely stuff you take for granted.
To keep the emotional and intellectual aspects of your long-term relationship alive, you need to make an extra effort. Expand the topics of your conversations. Never be boring. Make them interactive. You can even play games on Skype – and not just the sexy ones. Be hilarious, engaging, witty and passionate about whatever you’re doing.
It’s inevitable. There will come a time when you have a full-blown fight. A screaming row – over Skype. It’s going to be devastating, and you’ll probably have a poor connection too which will only magnify the drama.
You need to keep arguments to a bare minimum. Constant communication is the key – not constant bickering. When you do have that almighty blow-up, you need to settle things quickly. Don’t start a long-distance relationship war. The longer you brood and fume about it, the more unlikely you are to resist all temptation and violate your favourite waiter in your new favourite restaurant in that exotic clime you’ve found yourself in.
Keep arguments to a bare minimum and don't let them turn into a long-distance relationship war
Gay men love attention. They demand to be admired. Your man won’t be any different in this regard just because you are apart. Those lonely nights will come calling and before you know it his Facebook feed will be full of unseemly pictures of him cavorting with go-go dancers.
Your challenge is to stay sane and accept that he is just having fun. Don’t become paranoid. But at the same time, both of you need to limit opportunities for extra-curricular activities. Forty-eight-hour benders are not the way to go – especially after you’ve had the before mentioned fight.
If you’re entering or moving into a long-distance relationship, the ideal scenario is to know how long you’re going to be separated. It helps you keep a vital sense of perspective.
Are you going to be apart for a set period? Is there a good reason for this? And is this a good reason for both of you? Mutual respect and understanding about why you’re here are integral to the success of a long-distance relationship – as is the knowledge that one day, not too far away, you’ll be reunited in a rampant celebratory frenzy of romance and filthy sex!
The greatest challenge of them all: you miss him like crazy. You think about him all the time. You physically ache for him. The good news: these are the feelings that are going to keep you together, no matter what. You’re in it for the long haul here.
But what can you do to ease the loneliness and the incredible longing for him? Devote yourself to activities for a set period – say 30 minutes or an hour. Logic says that eventually, you’ll start to see time as limited – including the time that you’re apart from your man. It’ll also help to divide time into intervals and just concentrate on that particular moment. And, above all, do the things that make you happy.
Have you been in a long-distance relationship? Got any other good advice? Log in to Gays.com and share your experience.
Images: Model Released @ Shutterstock
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