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Crap Sex

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Posted (edited)

Something weird happened at the weekend. I'd been chatting to a sexy looking guy for about a week through an app, he seemed OK and had nice pics, so I invited him over for some fun. Normal right?? Well, no actually, BIG MISTAKE!

So he arrives at my flat Saturday afternoon. All fine, "not bad" I thought, slightly different to the impression I had. We move in to my lounge and I start making conversation, and discover that he's not a great talker and a bit shy. That's also fine I thought, not everyone has to make conversation for the sake of it. To move things on I decided to get on with it and started to kiss him. He wasn't a bad kisser, but on feeling nothing moving downstairs on his part I asked "so what do you like?" and he responds, "you". I was slightly stumped to say the least and held back the temptation to roll my eyes.

Sensing a need to get comfy we moved to the bedroom, got undressed and started again. After about fifteen minutes of trying different positions, it just felt like we playing Twister on top of the bed with the lights off, completely sober with no one spinning the arrow.

So I asked again... "what do you like - in sex?" as it was clear nothing I was doing was working. He then whips out some poppers from his trousers on the floor and offers me a toke. Poppers mess with my head in the wrong way, so I indicated for him to go ahead, which he did. After taking a large whiff, he then moves in to kiss me but the only that meet are our teeth - we both recoil in pain.

Now not only did my face hurt, but I had completely lost my erection, and despite this guy's rush from the poppers his cock was still about as hard as a string of cooked spaghetti. No amount of rubbing would kick it into action so I decided that enough was enough, we had nothing in common and no chemistry and said, "It's not happening mate, let's leave it there".

Without any fuss, he gets up, dresses and makes for the door. We smiled and without any words I close the door behind him. Relieved, I thought perhaps that I should have met him beforehand, which is what I usually do with guys, but on that occassion I threw caution to the wind. Hey, ho!

What's the worst sex you've had?


Edited by idaho

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