Lesbian Relationships: How do I make it work? - Love and Romance

[Deleted Member]

http://www.thelesbianguru.com/2010/11/05/lesbian-relationships-how-do-i-make-it-work/

[Gi****]

how do you make it work? well about comunication, that is the key. understanding, and trust.

[Megan_Hyndkins]

Communication is a big key, plus you also need to understand that your girl will need some alone time. She cares about you, it's just all girls need time alone for thoughts and don't get angry if she wants attention. It doesn't mean she's clingy but rather that she missed you when you two weren't together. Girls love to do mushy things and absolutely love romantic things. Take her out for dinner, watch sweet tear jerker movies together. Treat her like she's the world, even if nobody knows she exists tell her she's the world. Treat her like you can't live without her, instead of fighting sit down and talk it out. Fighting never solves anything it just causes problems and it can shatter a beautiful relationship. Being with a girl is hard I will say that, but if you follow steps and are completely yourself then it should work. I mean not all work, but whatever you do never EVER cause physical harm to her. That's completely wrong, no matter if you see it as correct it's not! She will be sad and cry plus it will also shatter your relationship. You need to be calm and if you have anger problems stop and think about consequences before you act on them. Be loving, caring and also a great listener. Girls love to talk about their days so let them chew off your ears for as long as they want. If your girl wants to try something new don't put her down, encourage her and be right there holding her hand so she doesn't get scared. That's all I can think of right now, that's just off the top of my head and how my girl and I are together. Hope it helped.

[Deleted Member]

i have just done everything and now I have to be responsible for my friends background. I am alone for that now. That galls me. I have done everything thing else and still it is not enough.

[Deleted Member]

Then it should be time to say enough. We also need to learn to let go.

[Deleted Member]

communication, love is the foundation we build on, respect honesty and faith and yes knowing when it's time to let go no matter how it hurts

[Deleted Member]

You know you spend time in therapy to learn to communicate with the loved one and work on issures of your past and have a healthy relationship and then they add in this new one. It is like when does it end? They killed it. I have moved on. There is only so much I can control.

[Na****]

any advice my partner left me after 23 years we have been seeing oneanother for the last year every month all of a sudden she just only wants to text and wont explain anything to me ? she just keeps avoiding my question r we together she just says she needs time? any advice my heart is breaking

[Deleted Member]

Let her go and give her time... In the mean while find who you are and do things for yourself and that make you happy. If love is there she will communicate to you. Everything has a begining and end and its okay to let something go to see what new develops, it might be still be with her in a differebt way! Just give space to grow for both of you.

[Deleted Member]

Personally, I think that when it comes to the point that you have to ask your self
"How can I make it work?" , it's like forcing an already busted engine to run. It can run for a few more seconds, or years but not forever. You don't make it work. With the right person, it works on it's own Being in a relationship has to be effortless. At least emotionally effortless. You give love, and you take love. Unconditionally. That's how relationships are ment to be.

[Deleted Member]

I agree with Haruka, my ex tried to make it work with me...if there no love...there nothing you can do about it...

[Deleted Member]

my gf and i never seem to have enough time together she is going to call me tonight and tuesday night i'm going to her place

[Deleted Member]

@ Marianne, do you have doubt about your relationship? lol!

[Laurel_Sampson]

As Megan said communication is a must and so is compromise. My last gf I was with for nearly 2 years...I always got on a plane and went to see her every month. She told me she was no longer searching and with me she was complete and whole. That's a huge thing and I felt the same way about her.
She was suppose to come up and visit me for her birthday for a change and two weeks out..she's on the phone and casually tells me that she can't make it. I got upset with this considering when we had planned her visit months before hand. Then she sends me this email saying that the lump she found in her breast 6 months before she decided to get the biopsy done...I went of my head at her....this was something you just don't put off..she had 2 ***age children and I'm sure she didn't want their father looking after them.....if god forbid something happened to her.

What hurt me the most was the month before I went to visit her, she said that we have to tell each other everything...I said no probs as I always did anyway. Then she does this. Turns everything around and tells me I'm selfish..WTF??

Things were very strained between us to say the least, for the next couple of weeks and she kept saying play it by ear and see if she could still come up. Well that weekend came and wen,t and i had prepared the most exciting stuff to do when she came up....all of that went to waste, lost all my deposits and the money I had paid about $1100 worth. That was the weekend I was going to as her to marry me...
So I decided to jump on a plane fly down for her birthday and was there for a couple of days. She actually treated me like shit for the time I was there with her...and yet she was all nice when she wanted to have sex....

I flew back home and by the next weekend...she tells me that she is not ready for a relationship....I was totally devastated. And then after she called it quits...the mind games started for 2 years after that....saying things to me like she still loved me and missed me. I told her to get out of my life that I was too good for her and she didn't deserve me. I'm fine now I can think of her and I feel numb not sad nor angry. I gave my heart and my soul to this women, and yet I still to this day don't have closure and I guess I never will. But she's still trying to do my head in...asked me to be her friend on facebook....She has no tact and scruples and she never will.

So I'm still hesitant about letting my guard down again. I never want to be hurt like that again, she had destroyed me I suffered depression and was suicidal.......I know I'm stronger for what has happened to me but there is still that measure of self doubt. Is it right for me to feel this way? Or should I take that risk again?

[Deleted Member]

del jean you hit the nail on the head havent seen or heard from her since thursdau she said she'd call sun is this normal for only 4 mos, laurel you have evry right to feel that way someday you will meet someone you will want to let your guard down for

[Deleted Member]

Marianne, I hope for you it's not what it look like...

Laurel, I don't think i would be friend with someone who treated me like shit. Just move on and someday you will meet someone who deserve you for who you are.

[Laurel_Sampson]

Hi Del, nope I just ignored her request, And I feel much better for doing that Karma will get her in the long run I believe in that. Thanks girls for all your advice Hopefully one day I will meet that one person that I will feel safe to let them into my life...fingers crossed

[Deleted Member]

del jean what does it look like to you!?

[Deleted Member]

I don't know did she call? If she called everything is fine and i'm happy for you. Del

[Deleted Member]

yes

[Deleted Member]

I took a long break for a while. things look different when you get some perspective. sounds like you need to get some of your own self worth. Take some time to take care of yourself and replentish your soul. you sound like a very nice person. I would send you a hug if I could.I would gather most of these women would.

[Deleted Member]

I very much agree with all the things these women said. When you get ur heart messed up with like dat, I strongly believe u need to hit the PAUSE button to rediscover you. Doing things to help you learn about yourself, and pleasing yourself will help you.
I just came out of a nearly 2 yrs relationship that broke my heart and almost cost me my family and friends. I am still learning to discover me and grow stronger and wiser.

[Deleted Member]

any relationship that almost costs you family and frinds is not worth it glad you said almost, take care and keep in touch, we care

[Laurel_Sampson]

Not only that Larissa, any relationship that costs you your health mentally is so not worth it also

[Deleted Member]

I do agree with what you ladies said. Although I hear all the time to never regret anything, I actually do regret it. I am very glad, I ended before it was too late