Practice makes perfect... But no one's perfect, so why practice?
I was born intelligent. Education ruined me.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. A work station is where work stops.
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.
...One should love animals. They are so tasty.
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
When two's a company, three's the result!
It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Excuse me... I forgot to take my happy pills today.
When all else fails, give up!
If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll have to rent it.
I can only please one person a day, today is not your day.