How do you know when you’ve found Mr Right?

 

Gays.com writer Calvin slips on his Manolo Blahniks to go all Carrie Bradshaw. He wants to know: how do you know when you’ve found the love of your life?

After being single for ages, I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever meet Mr. Right, or if such a concept actually exists. Trying to find that perfect mix of mental connection, a similar sense of humor, compatibility and sexual attraction in a partner seems to be my own 'Mission Impossible'.

Boyfriends have come and gone, but so far none have managed to tick all the boxes (or manage to keep them ticked). I’ve met some fantastic guys, had great relationships and think I’ve come pretty close to finding Mr. Right… but they’ve always turned into Mr. Not Quite Right. For example, the guy I did everything with – we had the same passions and outlook, a mutual sense of humor, I can’t recall a single full-on argument (well, apart from when we were breaking up). I felt ‘at home’ with them and seeing them from afar left my heart aflutter. But sexually, we weren’t on the same wavelength and didn’t have much success in resolving that. The physical connection between us wasn’t strong enough. And the possibility of an open relationship in trying to make it work wasn’t an option.

It seemed such a shame to lose such a nurturing and fulfilling relationship because of sex alone; I’m sure you’d agree that the physical connection is important but, at the same time, it isn’t everything… so when does it become a relationship-breaker? If you manage to find real love and affection with someone, you should do whatever you can to make it work.

Nowadays, especially in our internet age, it’s a cinch to meet someone to have a great shag with, but it’s nigh on impossible to find a person that you can have a deep mental and spiritual connection with. So when you find that special someone, you should do all you can to make it work.

I’ve had friends in the past come out of long-term relationships because of a diminished sex life and then pine endlessly for their ex, chewing my ear over whether they’ve made a huge mistake or not. Likewise, I’ve know those that had a great relationship between the sheets, but we’re screaming and shouting at each other half the times as they were just not compatible personality-wise.

So, the Carrie questions are: can we really have it all? Can someone tick all the boxes? Can we be too fussy looking for a partner? What do you look for in a partner? How do you actually know when you’ve met the right person? I’d love to know what you think!