JUST WOMEN IN GENERAL - Love and Romance

[Yvette_Jacques]

My question... is why are women so difficult to deal with? I have been going on dates recently had a blind date a friend through some mutual friends.. The woman was 29 really nice we seem to have hit it off... I think where the problem was is that we had sex the same weekend we met.. but we both wanted to so it was mutual.. After that we were on the same page you know sending each other cute little txt messages calling each other babe and i sayin g i miss you.. The other issue that this girl was from OK and Im from Tx we were taking it slow because she had just got out of a bad situation.. Well I went to see this girl in OK because she came to me in Tx so i was wanting to see and spend time with her.. What I didnt know was that we were not on the same page because we had this great weekend and then all of the sudden when im back in Tx she sends a txt to me saying I CANT DO THIS YVETTE I DONT WANT TO DATE ANY ONE and i dont want any one to be my CATCH... dont know where she was coming from with that beacuse i was not pressuring her. I think the thing that made me angry was that she did not have the balls to tell me this face to face when i was there or the fact she didnt tell me those before i drove all the way out there... Why are women so unpredictable and when your nice to them they question and when your a hardcore person to them they question it.. Im beggining to think there is no good woman out there for me that can just make things simple and we can have good conversation.. The age may have been a factor 9 years difference we just had to many differences but they say opposites attaract thats not true in this case.. Any advise i can get please help me im only wondering if ill stay single forever because i put myself out there and i get shot down..

Yvette

[Deleted Member]

Oh dear, sounds like you have had a hard time. Hormones, that is the problem with us women! it makes us fickle, narky and unpredictable. Pay no attention to her...

[Yvette_Jacques]

thanks for the advise it wont be easy becuse i really liked her

[Deleted Member]

She is upto sometin fishy sumtin she cnt let go tht some WOMEN!! ahh... ter must b sometin!! Relax.... the more u flirt the more you forget,, trust me lolz

[Libby_Horning]

As much as I love women and I do, we all suck at some point or another. Whether it's hormones or insecurities you just have to be patient and wait for the right girl.

[Sarah_McDurham_50721]

ok. i'm gunna be as honest as possible and hope that i don't piss anyone off.
not to put total blame on you or anything. but y'all fucked the first weekend you met each other. have some self-respect. she got out of a bad situation. sounds like you were the rebound. i wouldn't stress over this too much. she was newly single and the both of you wanted to get your pussies off. it's called a one night stand! leave it be. sounds like that's the way she wanted it.
yea, it sucks that you put yourself out there for this girl ya JUST MET. it was pretty cowardly that she didn't say anything to your face. that sucks. but, i only hope ya learned from this. 9yr. age difference...maybe this is a clue of sorts for next time.

[Libby_Horning]

See I was being more delicate but yeah. You have to take things slow and realize that if she just got out of a bad relationship then there's going to be a rebound the best you can do is learn for this and move on.

[Samantha_Wendes]

I have to agree with these lovly ladies, the only one who can look after you is you. So just try to take it easy, and enjoy the process of datin. on anther note sorry you got a dear john txt, i feel for you love. had that it truly sucks.

[Sharon_Saw]

agree with the ladies.. if you want a relationship, take it slow and get to know each other first before investing heart and soul into it... physical is one thing but good sex does not immediately a relationship make. If you look at it objectively - the blind date/the immediate physical thang/the 9 year difference/the bad situation/the physical distance between you two - and these are just some aspects related by you, let alone any character differences, the odds were pretty much stacked against the relationship. So i guess just check it out better the next time and good luck

[Jodie_Hendricks]

Yvette,
I have to agree with the others you had sex way to soon. I also think when you are dating, you need to set ground rules and boundries. Let them know up front what you will and won't tolerate.

[Deleted Member]

by the sounds of it aside from the sex too soon it sounds like you didnt know each other enough to real pick up on each others signals for how your feeling... key thing to any relationship is communication and by the sounds of it even though you talked you never really communicated your intentions or desires. Live, Love and Learn thats about all you can do now

[Libby_Horning]

I will never say don't follow your heart because I am all for following your heart, the catch is your heart will lead you astray. Please if you don't take anything else from this take my advice right here. USE YOUR HEAD AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART. You may still be led astray but it's less likely to happen. Life is all about learning and growing so live life learn from this and grow but, I also encourage you not to regret anything that has happened because then it will be as if you had learned nothing.

[sandifer]

i agree with sarah and amber as harsh as it sounds i couldn't have something special with anyone that gives to me that soon it would make me wonder. You must get to know them but she totally handle the whole thang wrong but u must know some people deal very tacky toward others. You will find that right someone u must remember don't rush urslf and just bcaz it sounds good doesn't mean u must give up the goods we all must earn our respect as we must give respect it will work out for u

[JoniBear]

everything had been said by all the ladies up there ... so what i want to say is hugz to you Yvette ... just file it up as another chapter in life. I've gone thru a few of this flash relationship and the healing process is taking longer n longer to heal .. but then, TIME does heal all wounds ....

Cheer up !!!

[Yvette_Jacques]

thanks for the advise everyone i guess i need to be a little more gurarded and just take my time with things when it comes to women after all there are great women out there and i know there is one for me she just has not come my way as of yet..

yvette

[Samantha_Wendes]

Just have fun with lookin for her, in the process you tend to find some reaally good freinds.

[Sarah_McDurham_50721]

yvette, i wish you all the luck in the world in your search for "the one." i tried not to come off so bitchy. i would just rather someone be honest with me than feed me a bunch of crap i wanna hear. then i don't learn anything from my experience.

there's a healthy balance with being vulnerable and staying guarded. give a little take a little. it has to go back and forth like this. take care of your body, please. people don't realize how much of themselves they are giving away when they sleep with another so quickly. they don't realize the message they're putting out there.
like Evette Sandifer said "i couldn't have something special with anyone that gives to me that soon it would make me wonder."

good luck

[Jeanie_Baker]

I agree with the others too and I like what Sharon said especially because you already somethings stacked up against you like the distance, rebound from a bad relationhip. I feel for someone because we actually had things in common which I think helps the relationship but as I courting continued I realized she was not being totally honest and she could not even bring herself to tell me except when she stopped calling sweetie and being considerate I figured it out and and said to her to her face I think you need some time alone giving her the opportunity to tell me if there was someone else but she did not and I hate people like that so I dropped somethings off she gave me and left her this neat art piece I created a while ago that was special to me at her house and never came back. Relationships can be strange. But honesty and good communication is number key to know if things are working out.
If you look at it in this perspective, you both were horny, you got off, and you thought it was more and she didn't. OUch! But you had fun while it lasted and it is easier to get over if you don't take it personally. It's her lose, and you will find some one better because you deserve better. Sometimes when we jump to fast we can get burned. It's part of the greed in our human condition.
I wish you happiness and Peace Yvette

[Sharon_Saw]

i think people are always afraid to upset the apple cart... even if they are not happy in the relationship, they would rather not communicate what the issue is and just leave or make it so difficult for the partner that the partner leaves. The latter is really cowardice... instead of taking responsibility and letting the partner know and letting her down easy, they make things so difficult and uncomfortable that the partner is forced to take responsibility and leave. We don't need mind games like that.. we deserve better so if you feel your partner is playing some kind of game, it's time to sort things out and see where you are.

Sorry to hear about your relationship Jeanie. it was very sweet of you to gift her the art piece i hope she realises what she lost

[JoniBear]

I cannot agree more than the word "communication is a MUST" .. and Sharon, i am the kind of person to upset the apple cart, if i feel the relationship is having problems. Previously i was having issues with my ex-gf, and she choose to hide in denial, and just pretend nothing was wrong between us. We are drifting further away as due to my hectic travelling schedule communication also rare.

I wanted to talk it over and my ex-gf never want to talk it out. I told her that we are having communication problem, and she never even bother listen to what i say. End up, i need to sent her a long sms to tell her, we seriously need to talk it out. Finally she call me to talk, after I tried to talk to her since months ago.

She took it the hard way, and she swear and curse me saying that I am playing with her feeling. I look down on her cause of her education level, and she is not from rich family. I told her that was not the main issue. If that was the main issue, we will not be a couple for 2 yrs +..

My ex-gf was so angry and she cannot accept the breakoff, and she went to ICQ to tell everyone to stay away from me. She tried to poison our mutual friends in boycotting me and etc .. and lucky me, our mutual friends know me as who i am, and they tried to defend me. Unlucky for them, they are also been blocked by my ex-gf cause they tried to defend me ......

[Jeanie_Baker]

Thanks Sharon, yes she lost someone who would have been good to her and not judged her and yes you did make a good point it is cowardly when a person cannot be straight with you on their feelings. I hate cowards!!!! So it is best that the relationship did not persist and I walked away because I saw her for who she was. Love can be blind sometimes but hopefully as you get older you get a little smarter.
Joni I hate vindictive people who cannot just move on when things don't work out because they have so much anger they have to lash out and make others live miserable pretty much the reason she is not a happy person. Who needs people like that in our lives anyway ? No one. As some of the country folk here say she does not know her ass from the hole in the ground.
YOu will do so much better now with her out of your life. Best wishes to you Joni!

[JoniBear]

thanks Jeanie for the support .. and yes, i just treat it as words, cause it cannot hurt me as what she did to herself. If she won't let it go of it, she will never find peacefulness in herself. You are absolutely correct, love can be blind and as years passed, we learn to love the other partner with our own analysis. That is why, what i need to find in my other half, is that she know how to share out her thoughts and speak her mind ... I would love to have that in my other half. Wish me luck to find such partner ... cause at this moment, there is none in my life ....

Cheerio!!!

[Jeanie_Baker]

yea me neither Joni looking for someone special too and to be able to open up with out being judged and express to each other, have constructive arguments that it's okay to disagree because everyone has a right to their own opinion. We can only find peace when we accept and don't judge and are open minded. People who have to make a scene are saying "Look at me" I am better than you.
It's all about ego and when our ego's get in the way we can not be objective.
Good luck to you JOni !

[JoniBear]

cheers to your statement Jeanie .... constructive arguments is Okay, and everyone has a right to their own opinion .... i agree to this all the time .. but then, for Asian ladies .... dun be too outspoken .. cause they do take some advice badly .. so, need to sometime, turn a deaf ears . in order to live longer .... lolz ... but anyhow, i love an argument or two from my partner, cause this makes things more interesting between us, instead of the mono lifestyle that make the life so boring .....

[Jeanie_Baker]

ME BORED! LOL