fuck - Love and Romance

[Tor_Saff]

so after three years of completely pointless relationships with men and women i finally decide to let someone in and give them my heart, and they fucked it. they broke it into a million little shards which are killing me. why do i fucking bother. im just going to become a crazy cat lady much like the one in the simpson. sorry this is just my rant.

[Deleted Member]

Shitty news.. How long were you together?
Nothing wrong with crazy cat ladies... *grin*

[Samantha_Sayle]

Dont worry hun, i know exactly how you feel. The sae thing happened to me a few months ago she broke my heart for one of my male best friends that she had known less than a week. I didnt even find out till 3 weeks later when we had an argument and she shouted she loved him, even thow she was still fucking me while she was fucking him and she still flirts with me now. Iv stopped going out with my friends because they all hang around hers now instead of mine and it hurts me too much to see her x

[Deleted Member]

Baby, I completely understand how you feel. i have been there too. You will get through this. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will. My name is Tami, and I am here for you if you need to talk sweet heart.

[Tor_Saff]

we were only official for 4 months but been seeing each other since june time. so not too long. the whole time she was in love with her friend. all i do now is wake up walk my dog and cry. life sucks.

[Deleted Member]

The best part, Becky, is you have a dog. A 'partner in crime' that makes you leave your house every day and partake in the outside world whether you like it or not, who greets you with open paws because he (she?) is just so happy to see you.
My advice?
Get rid of everything that belongs to your ex. This INCLUDES blocking her emails, phone calls to your phone, FB - well you get my drift.
Turn your home into an "NO TALKING ABOUT EXES" Zone. This extends to all friends. When they come over, THEY can't talk about their exes either. Whether good or bad.
Your home will only be that of good. Upbeat music, funny movies , play dates for your dog. Whatever.
If you can financially handle it, replace your bedroom sheets. Get new ones. With flowers. Why the hell not?
Give yourself short-term goals: conquering training your dog to do a completely new trick; new hairstyle; losing (gaining?) 5 pounds; learning a new language.
Learn something about yourself:
What you like/dislike; what you prefer in your life and what absolutely drives you insane.
Eventually, you're going to realize that you've awaken without a thought of your ex. And that's when you're going to see that it was ok to have gone through what you've gone through.
Life is a big school. Everything in it are but tools for our learning experience.
You'll know what to look for in your next relationship - but don't rush it. Take your time.
We're all here for your venting, Becky.

[Deleted Member]

I wish you a healthy recovery. Spend as much time venting as you need to get over it. There is no time period set to get over a relationship and some ppl take more than others. And some ppl have to talk about it more than others.Some ppl feel the need to beat stuff up , or cry, or even journal. but I still cant figure out how some ppl can talk to their exes. its too painful and i think they fit better in the past.

[Deleted Member]

Exactly, Terry! Gotta get rid of the ex-shit fast.
The day my ex left, I packed up EVERYTHING and gave a 1-day period to pick it up or have it shipped to the nearest shelter. The ex played with the time period thinking it would be cute to play with my emotions: The shelter won.
I think I vented and cried over my last failed relationship for about a week. Took longer to get over it but the crying lasted a full 7 days. After that, I did what I just advised Becky to do. My home was a home of quiet peace. It actually became a hangout for friends who needed time away from families or anything stressful.
I was very proud of myself.
As for my dog, well, go look at my pics. She was my savior during my hard times.
When I met my (now) wifey, I was so ready for her! No emotional baggage.

[Deleted Member]

Marukah, where was that advice when I was going thru this??? *grin* Those are wonderful ideas!!

[Deleted Member]

Funny thing is, Shannan, I came upon it purely by accident!
I'd decided to have a girls' night at my home. I am a Personal Chef and am accustomed to doing monthly dinners at my home for up to 8 friends at a time. This Friday, I wanted a Girls' Night of Niceness. Meaning: My home, stayovers welcomed; drinking and eating and talking about everything BUT exes. I even put up signs outside of my home: NICE TALK ONLY ZONE. No joke! After that, I decided I would only have good vibes in my home. Anyone who entered had to do so with intentions of maintaining a Zen Home. And it worked! I had a friend, Tanya, who came over when she had boyfriend problems, to lay on my sofa while I cooked her a meal, she'd sleep for like 4 hours, wake up, eat, we'd watch a movie or she'd go on her laptop and literally just veg out at my home for an entire day. I wouldn't see her again for like another month or so.
So, yeah, it worked for me.
But you have to get rid of ex-shit. All of it. No contact at all. For me, it got easier the older I got. I'm 49 now so it's pretty easy cuz I'm at the "if we're not working and you're not in this 100% - fuck off" stage. Life is too short. When I was younger, I'd try to keep in touch in the hopes my ex would have some lingering emotion and come back.
Them dayzzzz is gone!!!!!

[Tor_Saff]

luckily she didnt leave anything here. thankfully except i need to go and get my work shoes from her house. i might not even bother and buy new ones. the dog is a he, he does make me get out of bed otherwise he squeeks lol.

it didnt even pop into my head to remove her from facebook and stuff.

Thank you

[Deleted Member]

not only remove, becky, but block. in that way, you won't see her postings or pics and she won't see yours. no need to agonize yourself with what she's doing and with whom. better that way.
funny thing: my wifey and i are not fb buddies. we live together. makes no sense for us anyways.

[Amanda_Jones_47185]

Great posts Marukah..I'm like that too.. i will cry but I cry to wash off the emotions... I'm the " it's all or nothing" kind of girl. And I don't ask for anything that I don't give back in return.. i ask for 100% because I know that's what I'll be giving back...
Maybe that's why I'm still single..lol.. but not willing to compromise either..

@Becky, Marukah said it all.. it will be hard but this is what you must do for you so when the next relationship comes around, you can go into it without any baggage.

[Deleted Member]

Becky, Marukah is right, you will feel better and this is the place to rant, vent, cry, share, the girls on this site got me through my break up and i'm dating now and i love it, your dog will never let you down!

[Deleted Member]

oh hey, Marianne! You're dating again! I remember when you were going through 'it'.
Good for you!!!!!!!
My dog helped me realize my ex wasn't the one. They never got along.
My dog LOVES my wifey. She SMELLS her from the elevator! Runs to the door before she puts in her key. It's insane! She used to growl at my ex. I could never leave them alone.
LOL. True story!
Because of my dog, I went to the park a lot, took long walks from the World Trade Center to Central Park. I am in fantastic shape because of her. We walk everywhere,

[Deleted Member]

SEE dogs know, that is a cool story! Yes i'm seeing Debbie and Marilyn and enjoying life, glad you are too!

[Deleted Member]

G'head now, girl!

[Tor_Saff]

yeah so true i walk for hours with him. he loves it and i cant complain about the fresh polluted air lol. i know what you're saying Loki loves my ex which kinda made me trust her more. maybe both of our judgements are rubbish D:

well done marianne, maybe i'll date again in the near future, not sure right now though.

[Heather_Darby]

It probably wouldn't be a good idea to date so soon after a break up anyway. Also...my tarantula's name is Loki. lol.

[Deleted Member]

Cute doggie name! Mine's Sophia. Nickname: Lil Mama. Actually ANSWERS to that when my wifey calls her that. True story!
And listen to Heather - wait a while. Get to know 'you' first. You'll be glad you did.

[Tor_Saff]

i doubt i'll date anytime in the near future but in the future sure.

but cool, i always wanted a tarantula then realised spiders and me dont go too well.

aww loki comes to pretty much every name you can imagine. i call him opie mostly now though.

[Heather_Darby]

Haha I love spiders.

[Deleted Member]

I'm TERRIFIED of spiders! Becky and Marukah, what breeds dogsa do you have!? I love cuihuahuas and pomeranians!

[Tor_Saff]

me too.

i have a dalmatian. he's a bit dumb not like pongo haha.

[Deleted Member]

What a beautiful breed thou, is he high maintenance though, does he like the cold!?