Older Women - Love and Romance

[Deleted Member]

There is a woman that I am interested in. She is about 18 years older than I am. She is smart, funny, kind, and just absolutely lovely. I have noticed her for about two years now. The age difference does not bother me. I have had all kinds of ribbing from my friends about her age but it doesn't bother me. You like who you like. What keeps me from approaching her is 1. what if she does not take me seriously because of my age (30)? 2. How do you approach someone? (I have never asked anyone out. I have always been asked.) and 3. I have no entention of doing anything anytime soon. I am taking some time to me right now as I am a few months out of a long term relationship. However I want to know what a good amount of time is before I take the plunge. This woman I don't want to be a rebound or anything like that. What are your thoughts?

[Deleted Member]

Sounds like a good plan to me! (the no rebound part).

Now- how to ask her out... I am going to guess that she already knows about you liking her, why? Your friends know, and she could probably feel the chemistry when you are around. So, just ask!

I'm a single older woman (but mentally don't feel it), and would be most flattered to have a young wonderful thing like you ask me out! Why wouldn't she? Especially if she has been single for any amount of time!

Anyway- if you feel like this would work, I would go ahead and stay single for awhile, (she might approach you), and work out a plan. Get tickets to something you know she would love, and send a handwritten note if you feel too nervous, and place her ticket in with the note, and have the whole letter sent to her with flowers! Everybody likes flowers!

Just listen to her when you are around her- grab the one thing she says she loves to do- and do it!

Age is important, but only because life is short! Loving care has no age limits.

[Marianne_Messer]

ask her out when you feel the time is right go for it life's too short for regrets!

[Ka****]

Well it seems like u 2 are already friends, so when your ready go for it. As for the age thing who cares, I'm causually dating a 33 year old, she is 10 years older then me and she takes me seriously and I'm 22. So I'm sure your crush will take u seriously and who knows she may like u like that 2. Good luck.

[Kazo_Aziz]

Looking for my true love

[Deleted Member]

She is not a friend of mine. She is someone that works at a place that I go. I do not sit in her section. I try to limit contact with her cause I am just so ***fully shy but I have a feeling that if anything is going to happen I am going to have to make the move. She knows I exsist but contact is very limited. She is always very nice and polite and have a chated some but I am sure that I am only just another regular customer there. The food establishment that I go to is like cheers where everyone knows everyone else and have spoken with her some but not extensive. This is one of those afar things.

[Deleted Member]

Ooo- I see. Now the story is getting a little pitter-pat in the heart ! You poor thing! It's sweet. :-)

So do you know if she is on our team or not? A Rainbow Girl? Does she know you are?

[Deleted Member]

She is most certainly one of us. And yes she knows I am. It may be sweet but it is hell. I just want to crawl into a hole and not come out. I don't want to be that girl that has the puppy crush. Groan! But too shy to move forward. I know one day I will have to kick myself in the butt and just do it but soooo nervous.

[Deleted Member]

Awe- I'm so sorry you are feeling nervous.

I can tell you, in an effort to make those feelings turn into something else good, the time to be nervous isn't quite here yet. So chill baby!

You said before that you were going to take a break, and not do a rebound thing. How's about we focus on that. You can stroll into "Cheers", be and do the things you do, and of course keep an eye on her "section".

And, at the same time, you could use this break to find out more about her from observation, and work on yourself for yourself. Take all this energy wondering, and use it to fuel something in your life that is a sure thing. Here's an example from my life: One thing I would love to do before I die is to touch a Monet ***ting. Why?? I don't know really. How?? I don't know that either. So I focused on something I could do- I spent time at different points in my life looking at whatever books I could find about Monet and his works.

I did stand in front of a Monet, at a Washington D.C. museum. My favorite ***ting too! I had my face an inch away from it! I could see every little brush mark. My heart was beating so heavy and fast, I was in tears. I couldn't get the nerve to do it !!! Dag-Nabbit!!! But the glass half full of this story- It's a dream still waiting to be marked off the bucket-list, so I can't die yet!!! LOL

I digress- sorry! My advise for when it does come time that you are ready for the approach- Jot your number on a cocktail napkin, with a note to meet for coffee or whatever, fold it once, and stick a flower in it, and lay it in her hand once she comes through your section. Deed done- if she calls your on! If she doesn't- you haven't lost anything, you actually gain (from working on your dream!) and making time for yourself.

So what do ya think? I'll give you permission to not worry/be nervous, RIGHT NOW. I will take care of the worrying for you while you go off and learn something totally just for you!

[Deleted Member]

(I digress??? I love the Golden Girls!!!!!) I agree. I need to focus on me. It is just so hard to to stay focused now that I have an idea of what I have really wanted all a long. Up untill the past few months I have been a passive participant in my own life. Just letting it happen. Letting the good and the bad rule me. Now I am really working on things and take control of my life and learning when to roll with the punches and when to actually throw them myself.
She is just a ..... very nice distraction. Time to focus again. It is nice to dream though.