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Why Is Real Romance And Honesty So Hard To Fined? - Love and Romance


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I ask this because I have had woman befriend me on here and else where and never talk to me, even after I have sent a message to get things started, they want message back.

And the very few who do, wound up playing games and pretended they were interested when all they were doing was having fun at my expense.

Wanting to talk naughty with me, but nothing else, or even talking like they want something real too when they didn't.

I have especially had that happen with woman outside my state, which is why most of the time I want even befriend someone outside my state, not because I don't want to give them a try but because I figure they will just play games with me.

I have had a few kinda hurt me by doing this, and so I want to know why woman do this, and its done by both Bi woman and Lesbian ones, so thats not it.

Is it me?

Am I not even worth you talking to?

Without playing games that is!

Why befriend me at all, is it just so you can say you have so and so amount of online friends?

What about REAL friends, I want a real friend, and a real girlfriend too!

I believe that everyone in the world spends there whole life looking for someplace to belong, but some of us like me, want something else too, we want to belong to someone, no not like a slave,lol, but to say we are a couple, that we matter to someone, and we want to and need to share our lives with someone else.

That is what I want, no games, I am a good person, and a loving person, but no one will give me a chance.

I am tired of being alone, I had a lonely childhood, and because I trusted the wrong people I have had a bad adult life to, with fake friends, stabbing me in the back, and family doing the same.

And now at 43 I just want someone just for me, someone who will take care of me, as I take care of her, some who want hurt me, and will love me for my honesty and my big heart instead of taking advantage of me, like family and friends have done.

I am not expecting any real response here, I just wanted to say this here, maybe some of you have had the same problems!


I just realized I spelled Find wrong sorry, brain fart,lol!


im not sure what it is but not really many women do talk here and i cant figure out why, i dont know if every1s shy or afraid of being themselves or perhaps some are ignorant plus took me awhile to find messages and things like that perhaps some are having trouble working this site out...can only guess


@Clara sorry to hear about your experiences. I totally get you and don't be discouraged just know how to weed out the wacko's. Alot of people I am sorry to say are very hateful, why they get their jollies out of hurting, deceiving, playing head games is beyond me. You just keep looking and Ms. right will pop up when you least expect it. Hang in there!


hrmm. i can say that i some times dont reply on here because it wont bring up my messages or chat.. thats where face book is a whole lot better. there are women out there with kind genuine hearts.. its just a matter of finding them. though the amount of “curious” women who get on gays.. who already have a bf or whatever. . is rediclous. those girls are just on to play. there are girls out there. beautiful ones with kind genuine hearts. =)


I think some of those girls that are playing for relationships from a different state are scams. I've had a few approach me, usually younger, and asking generic sexy questions, saying what they think I want to hear. Or if not money scams, maybe its a guy looking to jerk off to some live lesbian erotica, yawn

I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm totally honest about that. I love gays.com, because i can make friends with sexy women all around the world and I think that's so neat!!! If I go anywhere now, I'll know other lesbians. That's just so fabulous!!!


hi Clara .. hugs to you ... well not all woman that bad .. just that u happen to meet those gals that is out to "hurt" .. i was also hurt in the process of knowing people. They just apparently just hi and then disappear. I will be reply those people that drop msg to my inbox, cause i do not like people ignore my msg.

Well, Clara .. i hope that you feel better after shout it out at here ....... hugz hugz ...


online (and offline) too .. relationships and friendships are not easy at the best of times... people have expectations of what/who you are and these expectations often differ from reality.

Sometime people won't talk to us cos we don't match up to their expectations. Sometimes they don't match up to ours. There are people who do page me and i have nothing in common with them and i really don't know how to gently say sorry can you please not page me anymore. It's not that there's anything wrong with them or with me - just that we're different or seeking different things. It's important for us to realise this otherwise we will be sad to be rejected.

Of course there are the scammers etc out there.. you can usually spot them a mile away... so steer clear or you'll have your heart (and wallet) broken. Those who just want to play games... you can also spot them a mile away if you keep your eyes open.

I would suggest that you don't take things personally - there are real, sincere people out there to be friends with (and i've made a few here and it's great! Some i've met in real life, and some i hope to in future **waves to someone in Vancouver**). Make friends first... love will follow naturally..

Good luck


I first got gays.com looking for merely friendship and nothing more, was approched by various people. Everything from woman looking for friends as well as couples wanting a third party to little girls wanting to experiment!! I bluntly posted on my post LOOKING FOR FRIENDS. Now actually hoping to find friends as well as possible dates. I personally find that alot of these sites are basically just booty calls, curious woman hoping to find themselves and or bisexuals. Mind you to each their own i don't dog anyones choices but don't come holla at me after reading my post when it DOESN'T APPLY TO WHAT YOU ARE IN SEARCH OF!! Shit are there any real, honest, genuine, and sincere fem lesbians out there???????? SERIOUSLY....


Oops ... now i know why Sharon never page me because of the reason she shared ... --- Quoted by Sharon "There are people who do page me and i have nothing in common with them and i really don't know how to gently say sorry can you please not page me anymore. It's not that there's anything wrong with them or with me - just that we're different or seeking different things.... "

LMAO ... lolz ... i hope that doesn't applicable on me ...


LOL@Joni!!!!!!!!!!!!! hey i even meet up with you
p.s. i'll be in Penang this weekend.. do you want to come to the opening of our Soup Kitchen? Saturday 9.30am.... let me know and i'll give you the address.. i'm the emcee... The Chief Minister is coming...


i say it is what it is. let it go if they wanna chat they'll pull u up don't sweat it i say drink ur red bull get ur wings and fly must accept sometimes people just don't respect others enuf to be up front due to d lack of respect for themselves
this will not b the last time it happens just go with d flow till d rite one come around but u to must b respectful also u'll c d rite one will come to u


When one of the first things I have found is what they say&gt Like -- I'm very sexual!! run, run very fast cause they definitely are out to see if they can get you to undress for them and show yourself and then the other kicker is when they say I think I love you or I am falling in love with you when they don't even know you yet and then once they get you to take you pants down and show pictures of yourself with your face too and the whole body thing and want you to tell all those close to you that you have some one who is falling head over heels for you they leave you there standing with your pants down and a camera in your hand and then will probably use your photos on porn sites and you say to yourself what the hell just happened?
This almost happened to me just recently. She wanted to see me and I said well show me you first and I would not send her photos of my face but just maybe the interesting parts and she said oh I am falling in love with you send me your picture. And anytime I would strike up a conversation with her she would ask why I was asking her questions and then whamm it hit me,
She is just using me for pleasure and I want more than that so when I started to dig deeper with her she was gone like a shot out of a cannon and I saved myself total embarrassment from possibly being put on a porn site. Another thing to is she said her computer was crashing a lot and that is another red flag cause those porn sites will mess up your computer faster than you can whistle Dixie. I learned this fact from my ex so I know.
Yea, Clara there are decent people out there just don't go for the ones who jump at love you right away talk. A good relationship is one where you can converse and talk and have understanding with each other. I have met some nice friends on here and still have not found that special person yet but you know having support from good friends is sometimes the best thing until you find that special person. Don't let the trash tear you down cause it's just trash and it always mulches down into nothing and you can't get upset with nothing.
There are more decent people in this world then greedy materialistic ones Clara, so just skim over the those as you know what to look for now and keep moving along and chat with us right here. MOst of the people who have responded to you here are all decent folk I am sure. So like Evette said here don't sweat the small stuff. Live and learn right?


Sharon ... i've reply @ the FB ... apparently we both seem to have negative magnet .. lolz .. cause kept on knocking each other end .. well, this weekend, i am off to another place again ...


Sorry I haven't said anything back on here, for some reason I didn't get any e-mails saying anyone responded, even though I have gotten other ones from other forums,lol, oh well.

Anyway, thank you all for your kindness, and Jeanie I understand what your saying, me I haven't had anything that bad happen to me like what you said, mine our just ones wanting to talk about sex, or talking with me all nice and then suddenly stopping for no reason.

And most of what I have been trying to get our friends, and I have said that to everyone I message that I am looking for lesbian friends especially in my area, but else where is fine too, you see I am looking for friends to have to talk on the phone at least not just online, even if they do live out of state, and I do have a web cam too so I can talk with people that way too, I just want a real friend, and if it becomes more then great but it doesn't have to.

oh and anyone here can befriend me on Facebook, if you would rather do that, I talk allot of people on there from all over the world, even some guys, we just talk about stuff we like, like movies or TV shows and other things.

Again thank you all!


Kylie I noticed your from Australia, that is my favorite place in the world, in fact I would move there in a blink of and eye if I could,lol!


Yes, Clara, you are worth talking to. I am in the same situation as yourself. It seems that the majority of women, on other sites as well, many women end up playing games or wanting to scam me. I, too, am a good person and no has biven me a chance yet either.

I am also tired of being alone. I have been a loner all my life because no one seemed to what to take a chance on really knowing me. And this is in person - face to face!!!

I would love to have someone at my side that is honest and giving. I have a big heart as well that is willing to share every romantic piece of it with someone who is not out to get me - a friend, a lover, a partner, an equal.

But I have found, Clara, that even though there are hateful and rude people out in this world no matter what site we are on, there are also loving and caring people as well. Unfortunatly, in this busy and uncertain times, it seems harder and harder to find someone. And like Sharon said, people have certain expectations in whom they want in a partner.

It takes longer for some people to hook up with someone - I am one of those people. I get impatient many times, but in the back of my mind I know eventually there is someone out there.

And, yes, Joni -- it could be you!!!! :-))

Take care of yourself and hope to talk to ya!!!


hugs to Liz ..... sorry .. i am been very very busy running everywhere and doing everything ... I guess Sharon also find it hard to catch me. Lolz ... Few days back home with lotsa stuffs to do, and this morning am out from the house again. Apologies to you, Liz .... and Sharon for unable to catch up this round at hometown.

Hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss to Liz !!!


Today I had 4 people ask me to email them to their personal emails and when I went to check their profile there was nothing so beware out the everyone. There is a predator lose on here. They end up putting a virus on your computer so don't do it unless you know them and they are regulars on here.


Oh thats cool Jennie, I wish you still did, but we can still chat here I guess, and as I said before anyone here can look me up on Face book to talk too.

My biggest problem I guess is I have been alone for so long, I haven't really had anyone really romance me or anything, I guess I would just like someone who would treat me like a woman, just because I am tall and a bit heavy I get treated like a guy by everyone, sure I can be tough when needed but I am much more girlie then boyish, it took me awhile to realize that myself even,lol.

And I don't care what race you are or whether your butch or fem, just be you and be honest and treat me good and I will be happy.


Thanks, Joni!!!!

Yea, Jeanie, same thing has been happening to me - someone winks or sends a message, then when I recheck their profile a day or two later, they are no longer on gays.com.

Clara, every word you just said above applies to me as well. I couldn't have said it better!


Hi Jeanie and Liz .. you are both lovely ladies .. so dun worry about people ignoring you. Just let them be. Dun be sad and be happy for who you are. I am sure someone better will come along when you least expecting. Cheers ... !!!


Thank you, Joni - you are a woman of great wisdom!

Also, thanks for making feel better!

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