Don't know what to do. - Love and Romance

[Am****]

Okay so today I went to go meet with this girl that I have had a crush on for like a year. I thought for some strange reason that this time would be different than all the times before and I would be able to say something and actually cary a conversation. I could not, and ended up just sitting and staring at the floor until we left. And then texted her like two hours later apologizing and suggesting that we just delete each others numbers because i was so ashamed.
I don't know whether I should just go back to drinking and sex instead of trying to build something with someone I like or just give up all together. This really sucks. Why is this so much easier for other people than it is for me?

[Deleted Member]

dunno but i think you;reputting too much pressure on yourself

[Deleted Member]

I believe your issue (it's definitely NOT a problem)is your expectations! You expect soooo much that you end up "freezing" in front of her. You have a crush. Don't you want to know her better? Like...know her likes or dislikes? Don't you want to ask her about what she believes about stuff or about her life? Have you tried to take her to a place where you feel comfortable and relaxed? How about going out with her and some friends where she will be able to see you natural? (plus, you'll have your friends to help you if you freeze again)

And my best advice is "call her right now and tell her how you feel when you are around her"!!!!!! The most possible scenario? She will laugh, understand and somehow everything will be just fine! You have nothing to lose! What do you say?

[Gr****]

well said Eva...She was totally right at there..I hope everythings still not too late for both of u..I guess, the "freezing" feeling just comes out naturally whenever we are with someone special to us..And overcoming that feeling is the most difficult challenge, maybe a little bit of wine could ease u both a little on ur next date..

[Deleted Member]

I had some of those same freeze moments at some hard times. Maybe try to find a place where you can talk without too much lighting at first. Like in a darker restaurant. you could always practice what you always want to talk about with her before hand to get out what you want to talk about or rehearse some with a friend. Remember, they could be a little scared too. And try to tell her you feel nervous about talking too such a nice woman. she might feel more comfortable about you being honest about everything.

[Deleted Member]

no matter what we all say it comes down to you doing and saying what you want to in your own time in your own way i can communicate better on the phone and in emails than face tlo face but i'm getting better it's a matter of trust good luck to you and i hope you and your special lady can make MAGIC happen!

[Am****]

Thank you very much for the advice, everyone who commented. But I think I am just going to step away from the whole dating relationship thing for a while and try to figure some stuff out first.

[Deleted Member]

Hey, dont worry about it. We have all been in your shoes in one way or another. There will be other times to let your personality shine. Keep talking on here with all the people and it witll help build your confidence. Plus we need new ppl to bring in new ideas.

[Deleted Member]

keep in touch we care

[Deleted Member]

Hi Amanda,
I am going to write down here, for you particularly, my first experience with another woman. It was on the occasion of the marriage of a distant relative I met that woman who is a few years elder to me. She looked quite decent, well dressed and aristocratic. She was also obviously a distant relative.. well that is why she was present there for that marriage ceremony. I have noticed her watching me quite often among the crowd present for the marriage and at one point she smiled at me and came closer to me. We talked in general and when I told her where I am from I was glad that she knew our family. And similarly when she told me who she was...I also know their family and whereabouts. Well that was the beginning of it... after the marriage ceremony was over, she invited me to her house which is somewhat closer to this place where the marriage was taking place. I couldn't ignore her invitation. But believe me I never had any imagination in my mind about her lesbian attitude; even I was not into it though I was a little bit curious. In her house she offered coffee to me...we had coffee in their living room. We were talking about many things and I felt a sort of closeness. After sometime while continuing the conversation she walked into her bedroom and I was just following her casually. She sat down in her bed and invited me to sit beside her. I too sat in her bed. After a few minutes' silence she changed the subject to girl-to-girl relationships. She asked me if I knew anything about it....well I was not at all familiar in that subject. I just smiled and said ...well I read about such things..but never knew anybody. She has explained some incidents of girl-to-girl relationships and asked me if I was interested and before I could answer her question she moved closer to me and grabbed my right hand. She moved her hand very softly on my hand from bottom towards the shoulder. Well...I was never in such a strange situation and never touched by a female like that. Perhaps her soft touch turned me on too. She then very softly kissed me...first on my cheek...then lips and gradually all over....She suddenly stood up from the bed and removed her saree (kind of long cloth normally used by Indian women). She was only on the skirt and the blouse. In a whispering voice she asked me if she would remove my saree too, already putting her hands on it trying to remove it; I couldn't say anything and she had already removed mine by that time. Then she made me lie down in the bed and she also lied down with me hugging me and kissing me.....then started chewing my tongue....then she removed her blouse too and started undoing the buttons of my blouse also. I didn't resist because I had started enjoying it. It was once in a life time experience for me...the soft touch of another woman....she did a lot of things which I still feel shame to write down..but it was so sweet of an experience.
So Amanda...please don't be disheartened....just be slow and steady...heheh...best of luck

[Deleted Member]

that was beautiful. I feel lucky that you let me intp that secret intimacy. thank you.

[Deleted Member]

usha that was beautiful as you may or may not know i came out just in july at 52 and have a girlfriend it will happen in time i wish you luck and Godspeed and please keep in touch we care

[Deleted Member]

Thanks Marianne and Teri....we will be in touch...have a nice day both of you.

[Deleted Member]

your welcome you too!

[Am****]

Thanks Usha