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Be A True Friend dont be fake - America where made me again - Love and Romance


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Tonight, I could not sleep even I closed my eyes during 2 hours. Sitting down alone next to my table with the music that was playing near by; at a moment I feel tired for the road I have been walking lonely to choose a good way for my future.
Looking back the time I have spent since I was 4 years old until now, I know that most of the time on my life road I walked alone, but I never feel so bad as now. I am a lady with a strong thought so I seldom to cry and let anyone know what I think. I achieved so many lessons that I will never forget since the time I came to the USA.

Arriving Los Angeles with nothing in my head. Where is USA, what is it? Too much questions in my mind about this country where made me become a stronger person in a hard way. The first day I lost to downtown, I had to come home in police car but no ***. I ran away from Black man who wanted to take me to his car when I was walking with my friend to school. I saw how people treated together in the country where I have no relatives and it's called USA

No one know Who I am, and I have to get used to it. I met many people, many friends. Laugh, smile, cry - all happened year by year, month by month. I faced with bad people who hurt my feeling. I laughed whole night with people who love me . However, everything will end up with nothing because we are all living far from home. We move, we go, so we met, we love, then we say goodbye with no specific reunion day.

Anytime, someone hurt me I always talk to myself that forget about it. It's a game, life is a game. People are players. I went to hospital alone when my nose was bleeding until I fainted on the floor. People who helped me , loved me with their hearts are so far away from me right now. The people who I overcame all happiness and sadness. They understand what I like, or little thing I need. Tonight I just miss them a lots. All of them with these names ARZU, CIGDEM, HIEN ,SAKURA, JENNY, STEVIE, LOU, ANDY.I want to return the clock to see what already happened among us. People who I said goodbye in raining day, midnight.

I declined my best friend's love to go with the love I think I should go with, but then it turned to an horrible picture. I learned how to say WE HAVE TO BREAK UP. I had to learn how to say I can't do it. Each person came to my life and left their foot print into my heart. I am a sensitive person so I love each moment that I have. The US taught me how to say the things can break my heart but I need to do it such as WE WILL FAR FOREVER LILY BUT YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY HEART or DID U DO THAT LILY? or STEVIE WE ARE FRIENDS ONLY

I did something the first time in my life for the one I like a lots as LEE, who made me laugh and mad. Now what? I have to end it up because I can't show my feeling for the one I like and of course I dont want that person to be a player with me. Some people came to me to hurt me more than make me happy. Some people I treated really good but leaving with bad marks for my memory.

I dont regret for anything I did. Thanks to the US, the country taught me know how to handle everything alone by myself even it is really lonely. It helped me knowhow to keep everything are secrets for myself and of course be a stronger person. However, sometimes I need some one who can heal my hole in my heart....who can come to me and be true...I dont want to be hurt by fake people and I dont want to hurt


There sounds like so much *** in your heart left to be said and I hope you can feel free to let more out in when you can feel you can trust we are listening to what you have to say. I am sorry that you have had such horrible experiences and there is such a huge hole in your heart. And I can hear the *** as you write, but I am sorry I am not cannot be there to console you and hold you so you can cry and release some frustration and ***. I will be here to hear your story as I know others will


I too am sorry that u do not have anyone to comfort u and just listen in a non-judgemental manner. But if it helps just keep writing to us. We are here to listen and support even with the vast distance between us.Believe me It gets better. With age and time your wounds will heal.


stay strong. thank you for sharing.

  • 9 months later...

Thank you all...I just came back from Busy working processing. Wow almost a year. Time flies so fast/

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