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DyAnn_Sirrah

Need help - Love and Romance

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DyAnn_Sirrah
Posted

Me and my girl friends have been together for one year.

As a little background my GF is 21 with no kids and before me wasn't quit "Out", no kids worked went to college, lived with her parents in TX. My GF has excepted her sexual orientation for a while.

Me I was 25 with 2 kids 2 jobs, had a room mate and live in MI. I have always had my crushes but never acted on them until I came across my girl over this web site.

We became inseperatable. If we weren't chatting over the net then we were texting we were IMing or talking on the phone. A month went by and I took a plane in Feb to meet her and felt like I found my reason. Like my life could be perfect. So April came I put my two week notice in and moved to Texas. I left behind my friends my family and a whole lot of memories in hope for a new future.

My girlfriend gave up alot also. She came out to her friends and family and lost alot behind it.

Now a year later we are still together but it seems like everything going wrong. I use to be able to make her smile and laugh all the time. Now I cant do anything right.

she has no job and stays home with the kids and I have no idea how to make her feel better. we talk and I try to go places with her but its like she feels like shes trapped and I don't get it. But I do ..... Some time ago she told me that my seven year old Son "gives her a bad feeling"

Here's the question:
I love her to death but am I wrong to feel like this relationship has an exasperation date stamped on it? How can she raise a child that she gets a bad feeling from?
How can I fix this?

I did not come over 1000 miles from everything I know and love for this not to work out.

I NEED HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Posted

It's not easy to be a lesbian and have children and then try to have a relationship with other lesbian. Some don't want to have kids and some do. You need to ask her directly if she really wants to be in a relationship with kids. I had a daughter and I had to find out what lesbians felt about children. I had some great friends too that took her places and had some fun with her. But you have to find out how she feels now. Also, she isn't working and maybe she would like to work. Not everyone wants to stay home everyday and be a homemaker. You need to talk it out. But find out how she feels about the kids. Don't let this rest on their sholders. You could see a counselor and see what they say about what is going on in your relationship. You didn't mention much about argueing or not getting along or other things. Just that it is dead. Sounds like a lot of information is missing to give much information about your relationship. Give me more information about how the two of you are communicating and things like that. Hugs and good luck


DyAnn_Sirrah
Posted

she is stressed... she likes working and she wants to work so thats a big part And we argue alot. I have never argued so much.and she is bi like me and it seems shes not satisfied she keeps saying sex is no big deal but then during the day she makes jokes about her sex life being boring.

and Teri she said she doesnt want kids but it was due to child birth.


Posted

Well maybe she's a work-a-holic, so that's what her life runs on. Some people naturally have more of a business mind compared too some others who may be more family inclined - having children etc.
As I said before, if she is stressed, then that will affect your relationship with her along with other relationship whether it be more friend and / or family inclined.

Maybe she's more interested in being successful business wise, which she would not be able too help that if that's the way she thinks, it's because of how different people are built mentally aka from birth, through their childhood, adolescence through too adulthood.

I'm sure that she loves you loads, as you said, you've been together for a year or over, maybe she's just looking for the next challenge like a business person would always be looking for further areas too find, complete and achieve too become more successful.

I would hope that if this is the case then it doesn't affect your relationship, it's a case of communicating, which is not always easy I know no matter what situation you're in, but alot is about accepting and trying too keep things going one way or another, whether it be regards your sex life and / or other.

Wishing you all the best that you manage too chat / discuss and sort any issues out. Acceptance / understanding are two very important key words on this one.


Posted

so how does it make you feel that she doesn't want kids? how does it affect the dynamics of your relationship? Do you think she is pulling back because she doesn't feel comfortable with kids in the relationship now? You need to confront her on these issues if this may be the case. A lot of women do want children and some do not feel up to the responsibility. And that happens in any relationship. you need to put the cards on the table about everything. I wanted to be with a woman who had more kids. I think Its great Seek some counseling. I am here for you. Hugs.


Jodie_Hendricks
Posted

sounds like you both need to talk to a couple's counselor, first together and then seperate, and see what happenss. I was 18 when I moved in with my 30yr old ex and she had 3 kids, then we had one together. kids need alot of love and time. I wish you luck sweetie.



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