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Monica_Allen

Being shy can get in the way of happiness !? - Love and Romance

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Monica_Allen
Posted

Sometimes when its my first time meeting someone, I tend to get really shy like if I'm talking to someone, and like them I start to stutter. It's like so embarrassing. But anyways these past months before school was over with I met this girl and we both took a liking to each other but never said anything to each other. So me noticing it, I got really shy and did not try to talk to her to see how she really felt. So the past weeks during school I would try to run into her...but scary/shy me never had the courage to talk to her or even say hi. School is over now so I dont know if I will ever run into her again at the college or what :/ so any tips on how i can stop being so shy...has anyone ever experience something like this?


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I know exactly where you are coming from! I have the same problem to a t. I wish I had some advice for you but unfortunately I haven't solved that problem for myself yet. If I do, ill be sure to let you know!


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Amanda_Jones_47185
Posted

Haha..it's hard I know but it's one of those things where there is no other way but the high way Being a feminine lesbian, I've learnt to put things out there bc sometimes the person I like don't even know I'm gay lol. You can start by dropping hints and see if she picks up on it. You can tell about a gay party you went to or heard about and would like to attend. See if she picks up on that.

Good luck to you and keep us posted


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Honestly, the best advice would be to NOT think about it; just do it.

When you get shy, you're locking up because you're thinking about it and have allowed it to set in. Try swallowing that and tossing it from your mind, and just do something. Otherwise, you won't get anywhere.


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Last year, near the end of the semester, every wednesday there was this girl on the same train. She would always be in the same train section at the same time, sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend. Called her wednesdaychick. Never talked to her, never said hi, only once had the nerve with a pounding heart to ask if I could sit next to her (which is normal considering it's a train and all), but that's it.
To see her more often I tried taking that same train on different days too, tuesdays and thursdays were now as good as the wednesdays (yeah, I was that obsessed). Never talked to her.
At some point school was over and I saw her in the Subway when I was with friends. According to them she seemed to recognize me when I casually went to get a drink from the cooler.
Never talked to her.
It's been almost a year since I last seen her, I still regret not talking to her, every day.

If there's a chance you don't see eachother again, what do you have to lose anyway?


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I think we are shy due to the fact we are afraid of rejection. We just need to try to be socialable and say hello and if you see her on the train a lot mention it to her and then say you take the train alot too like it 's a normal thing. T
ell her where you live around and places you like to go and ask her if she goes there and if there is a favorite spot or food you like or she may like and take notice maybe of something you like of hers, like if she wears a nice piece of clothing or shoes or something in her hair. Or talk about yourself like your thinking of dyeing your hair or talk about new clothing or shoes to break the ice or if she reads the paper and maybe something that happened in your town. If you have any hobbies or sports you may find out what she may like to just to see if you have anything in common and then it may blossum from there. Just remember if she does not say anything she either is shy herself or is involved and if she is she will tell you usually in the first 2 or 3 conversations and if she doesn't once you get to know her you can ask her.
I practice by talking to strangers in line at the grocery line sometimes and it helps me get more confident or I am buying something at the store and the prices are going up and finding ways to save money and getting the best deal.
If prices are not your concern then tell someone of a product you like usually helps break the ice or be courtess and let someone go in line ahead of you.


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Sarah_McDurham_50721
Posted

"Haha..it's hard I know but it's one of those things where there is no other way but the high way Being a feminine lesbian, I've learnt to put things out there bc sometimes the person I like don't even know I'm gay lol. You can start by dropping hints and see if she picks up on it. You can tell about a gay party you went to or heard about and would like to attend. See if she picks up on that."

LOL Amanda I was gunna say something along those lines!! Us girlies have to get over the shy stuff real quick or we'll miss our chance.

I started by just telling random women that I thought their outfit was cute, or shoes or whatever. Their whole face would light up with these random compliments and it made it easier for me to talk to people.


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Girls love compliments, so don't be afraid - like me - to give plenty of them. To strangers, friends, girls you fancy.

In fact, I'm gonna start doing that (amongst other things) as soon as I get better. Already took a day to brighten other people's days by randomly giving people roses n stuff. Should make a project out of it, try to give so many compliments in a day, or just do something wacky with a friend. I've sure got many plans like that for the summer.


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Sarah_McDurham_50721
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@ Melanie Zwart that sounds awesome & soo sweet to give out roses!


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I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to see people smile for a day =]


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Monica_Allen
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Thanks guys! I wish I would of been on here a few months earlier, I definitely would of had the courage to say something. Even hello would break the ice

@JeanieBaker that sounds like a great idea, of breaking the ice, Im gonna try to find something to start the convo, I tried before like telling myself next time I see her, I would try and talk to her but it never worked. I got to afraid of rejection. So im gonna try this new thing by speaking to people!


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Toni_Stewart
Posted

say something natural... dat would make her smile...


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Amanda_Jones_47185
Posted

@ sarah, it's a real trip right? lol .. nice with the compliments. I do that too, you know complimenting ppl on what they are wearing or how good they look.


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Sarah_McDurham_50721
Posted

@ amanda, it sure is. the compliments helped me get out of the "shy box" and then i was ready to give the bois i liked compliments lol or at least have the guts to talk to them. they make me a little weak in the knees lol


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Good Monica. You can usually tell if a person is friendly or open to conversation just by their body language. I am pretty friendly now but was not that way when I was younger. People have told me I am approachable because I have a kind face. I have had many a stranger just come up to me and ask me for help, or like I did the other day this guy was wondering about the choice of soap he had picked and he stood there for over a minute contemplating and I told him it even though its not a name brand it worked fine and had the same ingredients as the name brand one and he appreciated that. I have even talked to someone who had a sad face or looked really lonely and have smiled at them while waiting in line or just asked them how are you doing today and sometimes it makes their day. We are social creatures and with the cell phones in everyone's ear and computers we don't communicate with our neighbors hardly or not at all any more and I find that kinda sad.
I remember during the hurricanes here where all service and electric was out and how everyone started talking to one another to find out if anyone knew what was going on and help one another. We have more people on this planet than we ever have had before but in so many ways we are lonely.


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Monica_Allen
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Wow @Jeanie u are so right about that because usually now, people like to send text messages instead of talking, which makes this world feel lonely like your talking to yourself, I also am trying to speak to people when im walking down the street, I know it can make their day. It's just weird walking past someone like they are invisible without saying a word to one another. I have heard a smile goes a long way so if i dont speak i try to smile too! U never know how far a smile can go in someone's life.

I will keep u guys posted on my progress of being less shy lol!


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Toni_Stewart
Posted

i got to smile about that... Monica...


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sandifer
Posted

sometimes we must build within and pull out the JUST DO IT as walk towards her ur heart pounds d closer d faster and then u wants to turn around but ur feet won't let u so the word HI wit a smile comes out and u feel so relieved and happy i say all of this just to say JUST DO IT


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Toni_Stewart
Posted

Evette thanks for reinventing that scene...lol...thats cute...


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Monica_Allen
Posted

@toni cool!
@evette yea that was a great scene


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Monica_Allen
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Monica_Allen
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@toni cool!
@evette yea that was a great scene


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