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ever feel like it isnt worth it? - Lesbian Ladies

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sometimes i just wish i was straight. ive found that so many lesbians now have NO standards at all, none for themselves, let alone for their partners.

the ones i meet who are nice, all live abroad or they are taken. the rest seem to want nothing but sex sex sex and more sex. and the amount of lesbians i met here who have no personal hygiene is shocking too. what is it about these lesbian women who think that being a lesbian means to dress like a boy, put on 16st of weight, never wash or see a dentist and go have sex with the next person they meet who has a vagina.

ive lost a lot of faith in the lesbian community since being on this site, although i met many decent women on here, sadly the not-so-decent ones have been bothering me

perhaps i was never meant to be a lesbian, i feel maybe i have more standards than a lesbian should have, i would be happier and not single if i was straight. i would have more chance finding a decent guy than a decent girl.

and those of you who will bitch and moan at me about it, you may want to look in the mirror, are you sure you arent one of the low-standard lesbians im referring to? if you aren't, then you shouldnt have anything to complain to me about.

eitherway, it seems theres too much grey area now between women and men, as most of the lesbians on here look like men anyway, i may as well just date a man and be done with this nonsense.

its sad that lesbians used to be so pretty and loving and amazing to be with, and then they chop off all their hair, put on weight and slut around. it makes no sense, but thats how its become. i see nothing wrong with being a lesbian and having long hair whilst wanting romance and love before thinking about sex, but it seems like being that way is less likely to find you someone, because your standards will rule out 80% of the lesbian community.

you might say im only listing a stereotype. but its mostly the stereotypes that i see nowadays anyway

theres only so much non-shallow thinking one person can have before they draw the line. but to me looking like a girl and dating a girl is what counted. women attracted to women. not women attracted to men with woman parts (not referring to sex change, just boyish women)

i cant see the logic some have of looking like men, to win lesbians over. lesbians like girls, so you dress and act like men to attract them, its so backwards it makes no sense.

either way. im going to forget about this society of same sex confusion. someone wake me up when common sense arrives and lesbians start to look like women again. WITH STANDARDS.

many regards.


Well, some parts of what you said make sense, as self hygiene, id say everybody should have a some, cmon. But for what you are attracted to, it varies for every single person out here.

I ain't girlish, I never was, I don't I'll ever really be. Im still proud to be a woman.

As for the girls im attracted to, I usually go for her personality before what she can be wearing. Of course hygiene makes me less attracted to some.

Still, you'll have your own types, preferance, long or short hair, who cares. I like having a mohawk~ You don't ? Why should I give a shit ?

As you dislike the woman who dress more tomboyish, I take women who dress to much like womans almost as whores who only wanna sell their bodies with make up, high priced cloths and such.

So to say, everything depends for everyone out here. You can like or not anyone, but don't come and judge peoples who aren't fitting some stereotype~ and who aren't ur style of woman.

Take them as they are, don't try to change them. And that's the only real way to accept others. If you can't do that, how could I expect ya to accept ur ownself ?


both are right to an extend. likes n dislikes are frm one [a] person to another.
and for the stereotypes, well they will always be around!
gays use to be seen as weak, sorry individuals.
yet many gays served n still serve in the military!
so are gays weak?

gays use to be seen as a an act against nature right?
some ppl still look at it like that
but thats another topic on its own.

loving one another is whats counts right?

so, just because u had bad experience doesn't indicate that everyone is that way. appreciate u admitted that.

some ppl like they guyish look, some only go for the super girly chick, n some go for the confy style.
ur partner [significant other] is the type of chick u go 4.

yeah some gay ppl have a very high sex drive but so do heterosexuals!
only difference, gays are more upfront w/it. they dnt get in ur undies w/lies n trickery!

personally myself, i have my boyish days just like i have my semi girl days, then i have my i wanna wear make-up and heels days.

think about it, u might be a girly girl or not. but don't u take a day off or a week? of being so plasticly like?
n if ur boyish, every now n then dnt u like to bring out ur inner girly girl?

n if u r that fed up w/this community do what most do...
delete ur account, n live ur life on ur terms.
i may be reading of rude, but jux like u stated ur thought [opinion] i stated mine.


The fact that you sometimes wish you were straight says a lot. I get that you my be fed up with some people and all their crap but re read what you wrote and tell me how that tirade come out.

As for how lesbians dress, it has been the same since forever. Maybe now a days there are more that dress masculine but that is because it is more socially acceptable to dress that way than it was 10 years ago. You do not have to like it, but don't sit on your high horse and say its wrong.

Sex. Yes their are a lot of people who only want sex, that is not a lesbian thing, or a new thing. You seem rather biased against gays. Look around you at the straight community. The same problems you say that the gay community has, so does the straight. People are people. It doesn't matter if you want to be straight, you will encounter the same kind of people. If you want to attract a higher class of lesbian you must yourself be a higher class of lesbian. I am not saying you're not but from your post I personally would rather not know you.

I highly doubt you are a gay woman, maybe bi but not gay. Because I do not know a single lesbian who would sit and say they wondered if they should be straight, or talk about how they could actually find a guy. You said you would be happier if you were straight, well no offense, but go be straight.

I could re write that whole post just make it about the straight world and honestly it would fit as well. Anyways I'm done with this comment.


Can I say "Amen!" ? XD


I have to say that I agree with what you guys have said. I personally dress feminine most of the time but there are days when I just get into the mood and dress as masculine as I can. It really does depend all on the person. I dont think that every lesbian has poor personal hygiene, I mean I'm sure some dont but you cant really say that it's true about everyone... as for sex- well almost everyone you meet is looking for it. And lesbians are just as likely to use tricks to get it as heterosexual people. I do have to say that i agree with the "bitching and moaning" bit. I think that if you are trying to meet someone it really is best to stay up-beat and not complain about your relationship status- or lack of, but then it comes back to- straight people have a tendency to do the same thing...


i kno for me i have to shower twice a day brush my teeth three times a day i always like to smell good i would call it a lil OCD but ins not bad to have it, i have a few female friends that dont shower or have standards and they are straight so its not js lesbians, sex is js a natural thng for me its not always constant sex is something that u share with the one u care about and you feel its right it shouldnt be the main thing communication and making sure your partner is happy should be the main objects in a relationship and loving/caring for who they are not wat they look like. well thats js my opinion


I understand the OCD, I have that myself but it's with counting and numbers. I do the strangest things with numbers you see on TV. Every single number on TV can be added, subtracted, multiplied and or divided to make 10. That is all I really wanted to say. Being clean is a good thing, so being OCD about it is pretty good.


yeah i have other things that i have OCD problems with to like driving i have to move my seat three times befor i start the car or buckle in, when i enter a bedroom i have to turn the light on then look around turn it off walk in then turn it back on its weird and i kno the numbers things but i do it with the alphabet every word has letters and i take signs and things and see what other words i can make out of them


Words not so much with me because I have a rare form of dyslexia. Me and words do not get along. It took me a lot of work and a lot of time to get to where I am now with reading and writing. But for me, my dyslexia is with speaking. And I can not do word jumbles at all. But I can say the alphabet backwards faster than most people can say it forwards. I know such great achievements huh. It's one of the biggest reason I don't talk much. Not so much that I stutter anymore, because I don't stutter, but I do still block. Which means that even though inside my own head I know everything I want to say, it's that basically my mouth won't say them. I have bad connection from my brain to my vocal cords. Once in college I tried to ask when the paper was due and it came out "want monkeys and bananas paper in due". It's not common that I do that t I do. It is rather funny sometimes.


i would be straight but its not as simple when i have no physical attraction to men, being near them makes my skin crawl and i would never have sex with a man, making it just unfair on them as much as anything

doesnt mean im happy that it is that way, i just feel repelled to men and attracted to women. if i could be straight, i would, like i said before, its not finding a decent guy thats hard, its finding a decent girl. guys seem to like me so i would have some chance of selection. as for girls, theres few decent ones, and majority are taken as it is

i dont like being in this minority, where most lesbians look or act the same under the stereotype, but i cant change the fact im a lesbian. i have high standards for other women, i expect something more than what i see today. but women have low standards for themselves. yes the makeup wearing ones show off their body, as if trying to sell themselves, but i never said a girl needed makeup

if a girl is pretty, she wont need makeup, she will shine without it, yet i dont see many lesbians who do, in harsh fairness.. many lesbians are ugly. i dont say all, i have seen some who are easy on the eyes, or pretty cute, but even then its very rare to see them often.

a lot of girls would look so much prettier if they let their hair grow longer, or dress more girlish casual than branding themselves in tracksuits.. and losing some weight would make a big difference too.

it just seems that they dont make the effort now, are they being lazy? is it an excuse to say that they are just being how they always are? this is what i mean by standards.

it surely can't do harm to them if they made a slight change, instead of fitting in with the usual very short hair, overweight, tracksuit clothing and typical facial piercings. it makes me sad because it looks like they gave up on being feminine or making an effort to be individual.

someone once said to me that lesbians are only lesbian because no guy would date them and they ran out of options. i know that isnt true, but i can see why they would assume it, the lesbians i met give off the vibe that no-one would want to date them, and it shows in their appearance.

eitherway its taught me a lesson. the majority of lesbians in the clubs here dont show any individuality, no distinctive personality to how they act or look, nothing that makes them stand out to me. i go looking for someone to have a conversation with, or a group to mingle with, but none are approachable.

it always the same sayings i hear . "you will find someone someday, just go out and meet people" but there are none who are like me. i look high and low for people with common interest and i find nothing. the way for me to find any lesbians who are into what im into, would be to find them online and deal with long distance, because this town doesnt seem to cater for variety or specific interests anymore. if anyone knows a town where gaming, anime, manga and playing music is thriving and has a large gay community of nerdy punk rock girls, be sure to let me know.

but as it stands i think i am the only one of my species. be mad at me for what i say, or accept it and be glad you arent in my shoes. it wont change how i see other people, it wont change what i look for in companions, and it wont change in what i see in myself

debate or argue..... no-ones mind will really change, all that changes is the awareness of other peoples opinions compared to our own and maybe open our eyes to like-minded individuals.

i dont hate anyone here, or anyone in the gay community, but i see no-one else bringing these thoughts or opinons up, i may as well break the mold, i may be the pebble which starts the water ripple.



Hey, just wanted to say in response to you saying that if a girl is pretty she won't need make up, but, although I dont always wear make up all the time, its understandable why a lot of girls wear it every day, its a security blanket for a lot of women.. If you want to see a pretty girl without make up on, then you're gonna have to find one and wait long enough for her to trust you to take off her security blanket. I get the whole annoyed at being a minority, but maybe you should take this 'single' time as a blessing. Go and find a support group with other girls, (trust me, many people feel frustrated about being a minority) and talk about this obvious frustration at being a minority and being stuck in a position where there isn't anyone around that you like atm, and you'll make some new friends, maybe find someone who'll fit your standards.
And, I just want to say that lesbians do have standards. We're the same as straight girls, we all differ with our standards, its a personal thing. Don't sweep over us in a generalization, please, you make yourself sound ignorant (for lack of a better word, no offense!) and Im sorry for saying the put yourself out there and you'll find someone line, its easier said than done. But maybe you want to find a way to get out these feelings as it wont help how you feel day-to-day if you walk around feeling like you wont find anyone. Maybe write it out, cause it may build up and prevent you from finding anyone. I hope you do find someone, you seem really frustrated where you are, and its a shit feeling to have. And, you seem like you've had a bad run of it with women who aren't like you, so much so they don't even match up to your morals, I just wanted to say something supportive cause you haven't had the best responses, just, keep your chin up, chat to people about it, and I hope you feel happier soon! The girl you do find will be lucky, if you're looking for high standards, it means you stand up to them, good luck


Maybe the only girls you are thinking are lesbian are the ones who are really masculine and maybe look really butch. I dress girly sometimes, other times I'm like whatever and wear whatever is comfortable. Could you tell just by looking at me that I'm a lesbian, No! Maybe you have a stigma who you view as a lesbian and all the pretty girls you assume to be straight are actually not. Maybe its not us but its you. Yeah I'm 183, I'm trying to lose the weight, it aint easy. I went thru hell and back and it caused me to gain weight. Doesn't mean I'm lazy or have no standards for myself. Yeah I get tired and sometimes I don't leave the house looking like a damn model. I'm in school fulltime and I work fulltime and my job stresses me out, plus for the past 3 months I've been putting in overtime so yeah I'm tired and looking like a model is not priority to me. Maybe you shouldn't be so vain. Its possible that the girls you like see through your high standards and just lie and say they're straight or taken. Just make sure you meet your own standards, and don't judge people who fall short on your standards. I wont defend poor hygiene, but hey you never know what someones life situation is so don't judge people until you walk a year in their shoes


WOW, is all I can say... not all lesbians are as you described yet you put us all in weird stereotype! IT breaks my heart reading what you posted because no lesbian should feel like that but sadly you do I hope one day that will change... rebecca: 180 ain't big! IN my opinion that size is perfect ;D


maybe its were u meet the girls...
its funny cus i dont feel what ur saying at all..
first of all for me style is as much being confident in what u wear and rock it, other then being in a dress that you dont like wearing,
poor hygiene, as far as i know least as many guys have that as lesbians, as straight girls!
I think its all about the attitude..
i have standarts, but for me the standart are that the girls shall be whom she is, and if she can rock her self, then i sure can rock her to..
I once got asked what does it takes to score u? my answer plain and simple..
Be the best version of ur self..
sometimes its hard to see the forrest because of the trees ...
Are u sure u wanna find those people u describe..
I know plenty of lesbians whom are easy on the eyes, girly types with not so much make up on,
I know plenty boy ish too..
and i know plenty whom to have a some what clever convosation with,
I dont know u, and i want jugde u, but could it be that your body lang, sign u as a closed person?, without u having the intention of it..
But like i said, try just embrasing the diverserty a bit..
(sorry for bad spelling, waaay to tired and sick to read it, and do something about it )


O_O ur so right, i started a convo with this girl, the first thing she asked me was
"are you a virgin" i said yes of course and she stopped talking to me



lmfao! omgg i LOVE that you are sooo blunt! i have a gf. she is a bit tomboyish at times.. but she has long hair, rlly nice body, & is sooo CUTE. & dresses normal. okie.. so ive debated for a while if i was bi.. so i guess its perfect for me, bc we both switch roles in being the dominant one. but at the moment i am more feminine than her.. but little by little im getting her more to be femme. i think its sooo HOT. i agree, that most les's now a days.. dress lke a guy! well.. i respect that & all but im not into that. & the way i c it is, the point of dating a girl & being attracted to one is bc they r tender, soft, sexy. lke red lipstick, high heels, foreplay, long wild sexy hair, soft legs (when they shave), smell good, keep in shape, take care of themselves, succeed in life, driven, goals, nerd, have theyre morals & standards & that stick to it.. bc after all everyone is beautiful in they own way i believe. bc no one is gonna take care of urself the way yu do & if yu r urself, unique, different, so be it! dare to be different, to pull off sumthing, others cant. im not the type of girl who cares about the name brand, if i lke it ill buy it


I personally wouldn't date a butch lesbian... Not that there isn't anything wrong with butch lesbians.. But I am much more attracted to females, who are femm. I mean, if I wanted to be with a guy, I would be with a guy.. But, I'm with a girl, that looks like a girl.. Because I like GIRLS. Girly girls. Don't get me wrong I have my "Boy times"; video games, skate boarding, football, Camping, getting dirty. But, I have my "Girl times"; getting my nails/hair done. Eyebrow wax. Shopping. All of that. But, you shouldn'tthink that you should be straight just because a lot of lesbians are butch.. that's just who they are.. ANd if you can't accept someone for who they are, than you're not meant to be with that person.

A lot of girls can be butch/femm like thay have long hair wear boy clothes, and still look cute.. It's not what about what a person wears, or what they look on the outside.. It's what's on the inside that counts.. If they're caring.. If they laugh at your lame jokes. You can't look at a girl, and be like "Oh, she's butch. I'm not going to date her." You just never know. You could be attracted to their personality or their eyes.. But there is always an attention grabber.. Not what "Sterotype" The girl is.. You just have to try (Not just sex) different types.. to find your type.. and not be so picky..

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