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Forty one years ago I discovered Transactional Analysis which was originated by Eric Berne and it has been extremely helpful in getting along in/with life, especially during the hard times. One of the things Berne emphasized, and wrote a big, best selling book, called "The Games People Play". People are still playing games and I have seen it more so on blogging posts. The one thing that a person has to keep in mind is that it takes two people to play these games and if one stops--the smarter one--the game is over and the 'player' will look for someone else to get involved with their games.

I do suggest that you read the 4 following books in the order I list them if you are interested in finding how you got where you are and how you can, easily, change things: "I'm Okay--You're Okay" by Thomas Harris and "Born To Win" by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward explain what Transactional Analysis is and how/why you do certain things in your life while "Games People Play" by Eric Berne goes more into what the purpose of this blog is while last, but not least, "Loneliness: The Fear of Love" by Ira J. Tanner in which the author shows you how to become aware of the nature of your emotional choices and points to why you can be/are lonely in a marriage, a family, when being with others.

My main focus on this post is to get into the games people play with each other even though they are losing games and make each one feel worse until the games stop.

I have seen, and even played a couple of these games until I realized what I was doing, stopped, and watched them go on to play with other people, in the field of blogging. Now before you jump to conclusions like, "He is talking about me!" or "Well, he certainly isn't talking about me," remember that my blog is posted at 9 different blogging sites.

Now some of these games are 'amusing' in the sense we can read teenagers blogs and their 'heart break', 'he/she doesn't even know I exist', 'my parents don't understand me', 'I HATE---- (you fill in the blank)" because we have been there, know how serious they are and yet also know a year or two from now they won't even remember who they are talking about.

It is the others--the destructive ones--the ones who are at a standstill in their life and don't know how, or want, to change the misery they have embraced, the ones who get drunk and don't see it as a problem, the ones who are living a loveless life by choice but not knowing how, or why, they made that choice, the ones who have compromised to the point that they have lost themselves, the ones who can't fathom being alone and not being lonely and those who are losers but think they are winners because they think they are winning the games they play. The ones who are in relationships they don't want to be in but feel they have no choice or settle for less than they should have.

Some of the biggest games are: "Yes, but...", "Poor Little Me". "The Injustice Collector", "Kick Me", "Uproar", "Negative Attention Is Better Than No Attention At All", "Debtor", "Ain't It Awful", "If It Weren't For You I could", "Now I've Got You You SOB!" to name a few.

Games are time structuring devices which keep people apart and from getting on with their lives. I believe the biggest game played by bloggers is the "Negative Attention Is Better Than No Attention At All," and I will talk about that and how so many bloggers post negative things about themselves, the other games mentioned and a few I have played not realizing I was falling back into old tapes in my head until I did/do and withdraw from the games .


I live most of my life now game free but I do admit finding myself in the middle of one before I realize (like just recently) but then I drop out of the game and the other player(s) flounder around either looking for other players or other games-- do yourself a favor and live your life as game free as you can.


For more information go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_Analysis

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