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A Cat's Arch-nemesis - Your WRITES

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A Cat’s Arch-nemesis
By L. Karpoff

There's not much to do in a day when you're stuck at home, all alone, in the body of a cat. Jumping all over the furniture —to practice my balance of course— wore out pretty quickly. So too did trying to walk along the door and window frames after I nearly fell flat on my face for the third time in a row. Exploring all the new and interesting smells I could now find became unattractive after I came too close to first, the cleaning cupboard —I swear my nose is STILL burning from all those chemicals— and then —nice and disorientated from the sensory overload— walked right into the bathroom.

SCARY place that is.

Finally fed up with exploring and any other crazy cat antics I could come up with, I finally settled down across the back of the couch in a nice and toasty sunspot. Now THIS was relaxing. Stretching out lazily, I noted that I only covered about a third the length of the couch now instead of the usual full and a bit I did when I was a human. This was MUCH more convenient —for sunbathing at least; opening doors was still a work in progress —I'd like to see YOU try opening a door without opposable thumbs, or hands for that matter.

I must have dozed off because I woke up sometime later overheated. Rolling off the couch I looked outside and saw it was about noon now; only three more hours before my roommate got home and I could get outside.

Padding over to the middle of the room —where there was some cooler shadow— that's when I saw it. A spot. On our immaculate carpet. This greyish WHITE thing just sitting there amidst a world of shades of grey. My eyes narrowed as I stretched one last time and walked over. Putting a paw on it to to see if it was something that we could wash off later, I blinked in mild surprised when it reappeared on top of my paw, showing through the midnight black of my fur. It was LIGHT.


I looked around. It must be reflecting off of something, but WHAT? There wasn't exactly much inside the house that reflected light like that. The mirror maybe?

Nope, it wasn't in the sun.

Was it MOVING?


I glanced up quickly to see if I could find any movement. Nothing. Looking back, I noted the spot had moved significantly this time. It now sat a human-sized yard or so away, just sitting there, twitching from time to time.

How ODD.

Then it moved again. Glancing around quickly and STILL not seeing any source to this light, I decided to follow. Trotting over to the table leg it now rested on, still quivering, it moved again just as I got close.

Cursed thing.

It was now sitting on the wall just above TV. We had an old tube-TV, so there was plenty of room for me on top —especially because both I AND my roommate hated clutter, there weren't any knick-knacks or remotes I'd have to worry about knocking off. Bounding up I got ready to jump again, instinctively knowing it was going to move. I was right.

It was a chase now, going from the TV, back across the room again and into the kitchen. Around and over the counter then back down again. Now it was back into the living room.

This was getting ridiculous and I think I saw a pattern. It was now on the carpet where I'd first found it. Instead of heading to where it was, I skirted across and back up to the TV to meet it there.

Right on target.

This time though, instead of heading back to the coffee table's leg it went to the couch where was sleeping before.

Where the DEVIL was this thing COMING from?

My eyes narrowed again as I sat there thinking. It had gone past numerous windows without being interrupted, so it couldn't be coming from outside. None of the lights in the house were on, so it wasn't reflecting off of one of those. Did we even have anything in this house that would randomly reflect light like that? And even if we did, where the DEVIL was it coming from?

Stalking back over to the couch I stopped halfway when I heard muffled laughter coming from the direction of the front door. My roommate stood there, half behind the dividing wall, holding something in her hand that had a bright dot on the end of it —the same color as that damned moving spot— that hurt to look at.
Seeing she'd been spotted, she burst out laughing, no longer trying to hide her amusement, and held out what she'd been holding. Finding it a bit difficult to make out some of the detail when I wasn't used to seeing in black and white, I walked over to get a closer look. It looked like some kind of midget pen….
Laser pointer. The woman was holding a damned LAZER POINTER.


Are you familiar with Rita Mae Brown's "Sneaky Pie" series where her cat and farm animals help her solve mysteries--well written, funny and she makes the animals believable--you might enjoy them

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