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He (a.k.a the third wheel in any relationship.) - Your WRITES

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He and I go back to my conception,
Although it was never known if He'd make Himself known.
It was no surprise when, in 2005, He finally did.
He has always been and will always be there,
Irrespective of how often He might removed or managed and controlled.
So I have to live with Him regardless.

He has two other names; one serious, one rude/ jokey.
I use His joke name to make light of my situation.
Or as the mood fits, you could say.
Moreso when it comes to the sex part of dating a guy.
I say He is a pain in the arse (appropriately enough).
See what I did there?
I have contemplated calling Him “It” on several occasions
Until I realized “It” seemed too cold and inhumane.

I say He is the third wheel in a relationship as He is exactly that;
An invisible, ever-present entity, waiting to throw everything into chaos.
That is if I can get a guy to see past Him.
You see, He has one unique talent: scaring guys away.
In His defense though, He does sort out the guys who aren’t worth it
Or are only after one thing.

And by now, you’ll all be wondering who He really is.
He isn’t a person, animal or inanimate object,
Nor is He a God or other celestial/heavenly body.
He is my reverse fair-weather friend and chronic illness
With whom I live with on a daily basis.

And his real name?
Crohn’s Disease.


All inall, he's a shitty friend. Yet the words you use give power to his presence.


"Personal tragedies are just fuel for great narratives:
an old man dies, Tuesdays with Morrie
a dog dies, Marley and Me. " - Mrs Younger. (freshman rhetoric teacher. She's a cold woman, but a quirky character, and a hell of a professor.)
This is witty, and I was expecting it to be something religious, and then after I read that it wasn't religious, I figured it'd be something mental, but you took for a spin-- the good kind of spin.
It also gives a different view of Crohn's. My Aunt has it, but she's one of those types that doesn't talk about such things that often. I enjoyed the enlightenment!


Thank you both for your comments. When I wrote the piece, I primarily wanted to relate my own experience with living with the disease.

Leaving the real subject of the piece til the end was deliberate as I wondered what people would think when they got to the end and realised that the subject wasn't what they thought it was.

So thanks again for the comments.

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