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Happy Funny Quotes - Get HAPPY

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Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'

Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.

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Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?


“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.”

”Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong”

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”

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