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Thinking of Renee’ - Your WRITES

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Thinking of Renee’
By Jillian

Yesterday is gone forever
Today is the tomorrow, which is a time away
Tomorrow could be your last day

Yesterday’s one day more
And in that one day
Everything is gone forever

Renee’ sorry I proudly loved you
I Know you loved me in your own sweet way
A love that should have been
Now belongs to yesterday

My Renee’
We all miss you angel
You will always live in our hearts for ever

You may be gone
BUT you’ll never be forgotten


Who is Renee'? How did she become an angel?


Dear BL

Renee’ Summers was a beautiful lady I met about 4 years ago. She was suffering with lymphoid leukaemia she was a lesbian and very proud of being one. She had a very successful Interior Design company and travelled throughout the world doing her trade. Then one day she was diagnosed with leukaemia and her world came crashing down around her. She sold off her business and began her battle with this cancer. I met her when she was in hospital and our friendship grew. I ended up living with her and taking care of her during her last years. She was such a wise and influential woman. She always counselled me so well. She started doing most of her writings during the last two years of her life. Her last year of her life she was mostly bed ridden and lost so much weight. But she always held everyone in such high regard. Trying to help where she could with her wise words of wisdom.
At the end she went quickly and the last time I saw her she had a smile on her face. I miss her so much, she is a TRUE ANGEL.


Goodbyes are not forever, Goodbyes are not the end, They simply mean I'll miss you
Until we meet again! I am waiting for you my Renee’

Renee’ Summers
My words by Jillian Anka

One day I met a beautiful lady
Sweet and very funny
Her smile melted me like hot honey
Her eyes so blue
And a heart always true

When I first saw her
She showed me strength that few have never seen
Fighting her cancer
As she would fight a cold
Saying, “I am bound to grow old”

She took me from a point of weakness
When I was so down and low
She made me smile
Taking me into her life
The cancer in her body began to run rife

She means so much to me
She May be leaving from the land of the living
But with me she will always be
Because my memory holds her dearly
And her pen wrote many a brave tale

Most of all I love her
A love that will always stay
Inside my heart
Buried deep in my soul
I have no memory before there was you
You will always be in my thoughts
You are my best
Most dear friend
You are Renee’ Summers
You are a rarity and hard to find

Be assured my best friend
I will never forsake you
As others have
In your hour of need
I’ll sit here beside you
And hold your hand
Till your last breath is drawn
And then I will sit here some more

I love you my BEST friend Renee’ Summers


It's a hard question to answer who was this person how can anyone answer ?
When words are never enough to capture a life.
The Renee' I knew was a wonderful lady, most knew her as a poet, she inspired me and so many others to just write.
Write down your feelings.
Renee' wrote this:

Who is Renee' Summers? (not a poem)
by Renee' Summers

I was asked a question the other day. “Who are you? Who is Renee’ Summers”? I stopped and had to think, who this person is?

Well… I am a woman who was born in Dallas, grew up in many different cities in the world; my father’s job took us too many places. From South Africa to London and Brazil and Berlin along the way, my mother is a true Texan and my father a South African. They were very traditional people and believed that life should be lived along the straight and narrow. So when my gay feelings began to emerge as a 13 year old, trouble was soon to follow. No! I was not some tomboy who wanted to be a boy; in fact it is exactly the opposite. I was a very feminine girl, who love to dress up and being fashionable excited me. But and this is where my life began to change, I found other pretty woman and girls appealing, I would stare in amazement at their beauty and I wanted to be with a girl.
A long story short, I ran away from home at a young age and worked my way through school, college and varsity.
Suddenly my life was so exciting and fun, moving between countries and living in some of the most wonderful cities in the world. As the song goes; “I drank champagne on a yacht, and I did some whoring, I have slept with queens and even a gothic singer”.
I then met the wildest, yet sexiest girl in the world. My Anne, for 5 years we did so many things, that any person could only dream of. In fact in this short time we lived many lives. Then one day in her wildness she hurt me beyond explanation. Our dream came crashing down, and in a short while I received a phone call she was in a coma, she had taken bad drugs. She woke just for a short while, and I held her tight and told her I love her, as she took her last breath. My Anne passed away peacefully.
A year after Anne passed; I was diagnosed with Lymphatic Leukemia. So for the past three years I have been living between my apartment and the hospital, Surgery after surgery and chemo and radiation treatment as well. My life has become a living hell. Yes, there are good moments, and Oh God! There are bad moments as well.
I have been writing most of my life, but the past few years I have written so much. There are many dark poems, with some loving poems as well. Through all the madness, I found a wonderful lover and she has become my wife. Maria a beautiful blonde Greek girl has shown me the way back. She has given me a reason to live again. She is my Maria Elena (my Le). I love her so dearly.
I have left out a VERY important person in my life and that is my DEAREST friend Sally Starbride, she was there when all my problems began, and helped me work through them. With bleeding wrists she commanded me to get help and I thank her for that.
If I had to begin to write down all those who have played a part in my life, I would probably write 100 pages. But there are some truly special friends; Carol, Jillian, Suz, Brens, Renee, Shawna, CK, Penny, Anna, Jessica, Liz V, and all the others I may have left out. I love and thank them all.

So back to the question, who is Renee’ Summers, I really am not sure. But I can assure you, she is mad, wild, loving and caring, emotional, painful, and oh god! She has such a temper, a real brat at times.
But one thing I truly live for is to write, as you say, I love my ink. Hehehehehe, so when you read my words, you will have a lil insight to whom this person really is.


i hadn't seen this before and these are truely Renee's words. she was just like she explained... thank you Carol for posting this


Jillian you asked for some of Renee's poems you may not have seen.
This was the 29th of December 2010
Renee' was in a very dark place. She wanted all the pain to end and she wanted her peace.
It wasn't always easy and fun to talk to Renee' in fact sometimes she made it really hard,
she had a way of pushing people away when she needed them the most.
I think I annoyed her more when I wouldn't just give up on her.

My last poem
By Renee’

Tears falling endlessly
From this broken soul
Trying to fight it
I am evil
Lost in temptation
I said words
Sharper than a razor
My God how could I not feel you?
So filled with anger
That my soul was darkened
What have I done?
Oh God
What have I done?

I have been crying out to you
For so long
That when you appeared
I chased you away
Now I have really hurt you
And now I can never be forgiven
I never thought my pain could get any worse
But it just did

From all I have run
I will wait till the setting sun
In this quiet motel room
For now I deserve this loneliness
No Le, No Me
Bottles of pills
I will soon feel the cold chills
I give in to it
Assisted by this sharp blade
Slowly it will slice through my skin
A smile passes through my lips
For good times will flash by me
They always made me feel good
Tablets will numbs this awful pain
For sleep shall release me
Yet the scars of my awful deed
Shall linger on through eternity
What have I done?
My god how could I not feel
Her love that was so real
I lay here sobbing
For good feelings I was robbing

All you needed was some love
And all I gave you was distrust
My God
What have I done?
A deed so fowl
So cruel
So hurtful
I left you crying
Something in you must be dying
A coward’s way I see
For this life is not worth living
As per the sentence
At first lite
Shall be my final nite

How could I of done this to you?
For your love was always so true
Oh god
What a fool
My darling Le
Don’t cry for me
For this coward must run
At the rising of the sun
Tonite I shall gaze upon our star
And wonder where you are

I dare not ask for forgiveness
For this fool does not deserve you
My soul shall be condemned
To the fires of hell
Oh God
What have I done?


Renee' went through some dark times....

Forgive me, my love - love poem
By Renee’

You knew I was your darling
And gave all of yourself
A love filled with concern
When you gave me love
You gave all that you could give
This world my love always made me smile

Even before you enter my life
You had long lived inside my dreams
My favorite dream
Was always you
All I could say was
You made my world is so bright
With your eyes that
Made passionate love to me
With one glance

Why did I allow anger in?
Sourer words
Bitter tunes
That filled your eyes with tears
When I saw your heart ache
I realized I was killing you
Slowly with each damning exclamation
My stubbiness was my knife in your heart
Unbeknown to me
I was actually killing myself

Forgive this fool
For I now know
That without your love
My life is empty
Void of emotion
And blank
With my tragic songs
I killed my own

Now I cry in want
And scream out with all my strength
I need your love
I need your heart
I need thee my love


Renee' wrote this for Carol Wheeler, her Caz....

Hello Caz
Renee’ loves you baby, here is my lil poem I promised

How do you know when you're in love?
Is it the crazy things you do
Is it the fact that my heart skips a beat?
Every time that i think of you
Is it the fact that I can't sleep at night
When your image is in my head
Or is it the fact that I can't stop smiling
After every word that you've said
Is it the need to hold you in my arms?
And keep you there forever
Or is it the fact that I wrote you a poem
And sent it to you in a letter
Is it this awful feeling deep inside?
Whenever I have to take you home
Or is it just being here without you
That makes me feel so alone
Is this hunger deep inside?
That longs for your kiss
I am so happy that I'm in love
For there are so many things I would miss

You woke me from my sleep
And drenched my heart with a love so deep
When I look into your eyes
I see my reflection,
My feelings for you I do not despise
You treat me like the princess I should be
By pouring your sweet and sensual love all over me
When I see you biting your lip and anxiously trying to kiss me
I debate in my mind whether or not I should let you taste me
You stand there all quiet with your sexy body
And I think in my mind, "Oh, my gosh, what a hottie"
When I hear you speak, all your beautiful voice does
Is making me weak
I love you for this and
I love you for that
But you love me for everything and that
I love you my Caz


for Carol Wheeler from Renee'....

Her Love for Me
By Renee’

She wears my love like a mask
Each time she comes to me
She is a shroud that clouds my eyes
A veil I cannot see

But her mask is just a ruse
An aspect of her game
It hides the girl behind
The fiction of her love for me

Her love is but a symbol
Of the role she plays for me
A promise unfulfilled
A hope of what could be

Removing all between us
Clothed only in her love
Her touch is my illusions
Setting my heart and cunny aflame
Her love is my fire

A mirage within my dream
A ghost of her fragile youth
She is my fantasy
My fire
And a beauty born of love

Her love is but a feeling
A symbol
Just a mask
Concealing what I see
Revealing what I ask
Kneeling before me
In all her nakedness
My love
My fantasy
My Caz

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