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Issue with a guy I have a crush on... - Gay Guys! <3

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Sooooo, I'm 18 and the guy I'm crushing on is 17. He is SUPER CUTE and he meets my standards, we hit it off very well and when i asked him if he was guy he looked at me and smiled, while saying, "I like to keep people guessing." What does that mean? I mean he shows NO interest at all when we are with people, nor when we are alone hanging out. All he does is give me full on hugs when we depart and they last a little while and they are pretty strong ones..... yet I'm nervous to make a move for either him not being interested or that he may not BE full on gay or bi.


I would wait. I know someone who is 19 and he is sort of Asexual. He is gay but NOT sexually active. It's up to you to make a move. Consider he MAY have been hurt (emotionally) before and is not quick to do anything sexual as he doesn't want to be hurt again. He may also be a virgin..
My best advice.... Go slow...


yea that's a nice advice. i agree with Dave Mack just go slow. don't be so quick..


Ditto the above, take things slow and see what happens, good luck.


It sounds like he's open-minded. Are you sure he knows that you're gay?
If so, it should be safe enough to tell him you'd like to know him better, but definitely don't push too hard, it might freak him out.
You might find he says "I'm just looking to be friends" or something like that if you mention that you're interested in more than friendship, but that's better than not having him around at all if you like him.


Just ask when you are alone with him


Sept. 29th, 12, 10:15 Hrs. M.D.T.
Hi Group,

Full Hugs!. If He Was "Straight"
I Doubt He Would B Giving Them
to You. He is 17 as Such, Your 18..
He Might Not Yet B Ready to Come
Out of the Closet - Are You Out as
Well? Things to Ask Yourself, Yet
Deep Inside He Might Know He
Likes Guys as Well but Don't Push
Big Hugs! Let Him Him Know You
Really Appreciate the Hugs. Perhaps
Small Kiss is a Nice Way of Telling
Him You Appreciate His "Friendship".
Strong Hugs Means Give Him Strong
Hugs in Return.
Tell Him That Some of His Values/
Standards are Close to Your Own. OK
it Might Surprise Him to Know That.
but at Least Your Being "HONEST" to
Him. Sometimes People Need to Hear
Those Things and That Those Values/
Standards Mean a Lot to You.
Lets B Fair About Something as Well.
Fairness and Honesty in Any Relationship
of Sorts Counts so Do Values and if
the Other Party is Really Serious About
a Relationship, Your Actions on Honesty,
Fairness, and Values/Standards Will
Tell Them a Lot in the Long Term of Things.

Good Luck, OK.



I say give it a Try and get it over with, at least u will know then and Move on.


@Richard I fully agree.


He said that he likes to keep people guessing. That means he is not ready to say anything more. Accept his friendship if you can knowing that it may develop into something but it may not.

I don't agree that the hug is anything more than a hug. I used to bowl on a team that was mostly gay but there was this one straight guy. He would hug me when either one of us made a good shot and he did this in front of his girlfriend. My ex had a sister and her boyfriend would always hug my ex and me when saying hello and good bye. Some guys are just friendly.


What he's doing is good old-fashioned flirting. Girls have done it to str8 guys for millennia. If you really like the guy, then sweat it out and see where he's going with it, you obviously don't mind that he's extra-friendly with you, so tough it out and see if you can impress him some more before you try to pin him down. Trying to force his hand might not work, especially if his only interest is in "keeping people guessing"...


@ Antonio,



Thank you guys The thing is i have never crushed on someone sooo bad and like i'm fresh out of high school and my first real relationship ended in bad terms like almost two years ago this mid october. I have never really felt this comfortable with a guy at all, i mean there are guys that turn me on, but him, he's just so comfortable to be around that i can just be myself. To reply to your earlier posts, Yeah i feel like hes still in the closet and he is a virgin, he is the like... 6th child i think out of 7... his parents are religious, his godfather is gay and the thing we both have in common is what number child we are as well as both being really artsy, we also both enjoy each others company. But, like a lot of you said, i don't want to be TOO out there and freak him out. Yeah he knows I'm gay as do all the people in my college and they all respect me for it that he seems to be drawn more towards me in a way. However after next college semester, he is leaving to Oklahoma in a year and what i think is that hes more afraid to get emotionally attached and leave that behind. Perhaps that's the dilemma over everything else.


Antonio, it sounds like there's a real good basis for developing a friendship with this guy irrespective of how or when a relationship or sex become a reality or not.

Enjoy the pleasure of finding out more about each other and sharing thoughts and ideas. These sort of things should be rewarding in themselves if you feel that you are both really tuned to the same wavelength.

If it all progresses well then reveal more and more about yourself to him, especially the feelings, fears, joys and secrets you often don't tell other people. This will start to build intimacy and you will probably find that he responds by telling you some of the inner feelings etc that he has. This way you will start to discover how much further the friendship could go......wishing you success and both of you great happiness.


So i have been wadding it out and he gave me another hint, we had lunch together and when he left i told him i loved hanging out with him and thanks for the company, later we were texting him and i said to him "well i didnt want to make things awkward for you cuz you arent into guys" and his response was "hmm well you never know " and he has been kind to me and actually likes hanging with me .


Sounds awesome, good for you

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