I officially 'came out' about six years ago. Before I did, I'd always said it didn’t matter what my sexuality was because I didn’t ask people “Are you straight?”. Also I assumed people knew I was gay. I didn’t hide it, but didn’t embrace it for all the world to see. The concept of gay people having More… to publicly proclaim who they are is still something I struggle with.
I've since had to come out many times. Apparently, “I don’t come across as gay”. I always ask what this means, which results in stereotypes I don’t fit into.
For me, family has always been the most important part of my life. I have two amazing sisters and nieces and nephews that I would gladly lay my life down for to protect. The group of us have been through countless battles together and when the dust settles it’s just us. So coming out to this group - and I’ve done it a few times - is always terrifying for me.
The first family members I told were my sisters. Their reaction was one of support and love and a true revelation to me. This came on the heels of me recovering from having a minor case of Guillain Barre Syndrome in 2007. I'd realized during the illness just how alone I was. My family wasn’t able to help me the way I needed help and since I didn’t date I didn’t have a companion who could help me. I knew I had to make some changes.
However, the scariest coming out moment for me was when I told my nephew, Mekhi. He was 10 at the time and had begun asking why I never had a girlfriend. I talked it over with my sister and we agreed it was OK to tell him. It started very casually with a conversation about love and what it meant to love someone.Me being Uncle Marcel with Mekhi last year
I then asked him if he knew what 'gay' menat. He said yes, so I asked him to tell me.
“They wear all black, with make-up on their face and listen to rock music,” was his reply. My nephew had confused 'gay' with 'goth'! I laughed to myself then told him that he wasn’t completely wrong; some goths are gay, but that gay was what you called people who love people of the same gender, and that I was gay and hoped one day to be able to introduce him to a boyfriend.Me with my nephew in 2010: just a few weeks before I came out to him: he stayed smiling!
He was quiet for a moment and said “OK.” It was back to video games.
About three hours later I was putting him in bed, he rolled over, and asked;
“Uncle Cel, do you really like boys?”
I said, “Well, actually I like men.”
“OK, I love you! Good night,” was his response.
I went out to the living room, caught my breath and then laughed with tears of relief.Our relationship has not changed because of who I am and this is the best part of who I am and what my family is! •Enjoyed this story? Then try these:'Coming out taught me how to approach the subject with someone with subtlety''Mum placed our wedding picture on the mantelpiece next to those of my brothers’Don't freak out when coming out: here are the dos and dont's!