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elSac08

is there anyone here that knows the meaning of gay love - Looking for LOVE!!!

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elSac08
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Hey Michael,
Thanx for your post; I would certainly like to know more about you.
Really, I don't think there is a huge difference - love is love. That said, I think that somewhere along the line we (gay men) forgot the significance of fidelity. I've come to believe that's really important - a lesson I've learned only recently and after a very painful emotional experience,


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as the ysay there is no greater love then that whci hdrives a man to willing give his lie for his fellow man

one lesson i have learned over time through personel experience

though one must act in good faith in the beleife that there are establsihed rules on the matter

when a person is pure of heart and mind and spirit

when that person does so for the most unselfish of reasons

when that person has the guts to willingly give their soul for love out of love for their fellow man

when that persons love is pure and that person is wholely commited to making that knd of slefless sacrifice for their loved one

they can gain through it the power to change their world for the better

it does not matter if it is as simple a thing asa desire to heal ones loved one or to willingly give thier life in that persons palce so that the loved one who is dieing a untimely death at a young age can isntead go on living a full life in good health without any further ill health or suffering

when one is willing to give their soul to god for such unselfish reasons one can at times pull of a miracle at times though it can at times cost that person their soul to cod who willingly gave their lifeout of lvoe for their loved one


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in a way i beleive that one can look at christs sacrificeing of his life on the cross as being a example of that

he did not jsut give up his life on the cross

he gave up his very soul to god out of love for man out of a desire to save the souls of all mankind who has lived whio is alive and who will ever live throughout all of human existance


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I think Derek has made some excellent points on what it means to love and to follow the example of Christ, and I totally agree.


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whether it be through sheer stupidity, ignorence or just plain rotten timing and luck i am sure each of us has lost someone to death that in life was a family relative or a close friend to the point of literally being like family or even a loved one that was in life a parter and life mate .

as is the case with such matters of a all too persoenel nature it is a event that haunts each of us to a person when it happens because we cannont help but feel that on some level or in some way that we did not do enough to save that person in the end

I hate that death is so extremely indiscriminate and that it takes no heed of age or race or innocence or guilt or health . And there have been times, when I have watched loved ones - both pets and people - suffer and die, that were I able to force it into concrete reality, I'd have fought it all too literally tooth-and-nail in as savage and feral and animlistic and fearless like a amanner as possible to hold it back for a time so as to insure that the person who is dieing would have all the time in the living world that thye would need to truly make their peace in life , amend thier ways with god and make known thier final and last farewells to thier beloved friend their family and thier loved one, or to force it to end the persons suffering in as pain free a manner as possible and end it.

if one is to believe the bible as being true in a literal manner. the twelve desciples of christ and at times thier successors have at times throughout biblical history possessed the ability to exercise a certain measure of control over illness and disease in healing a terminally sick person of said terminal disease or illness, and in rarer cases have at times also possessed the ability to heal a dying person on their deathbed and will that person to go on living their life instead of dieing and even more rarely have sometimes posessed the abiltiy to excercise some measure of control over death itself in raising a recently departed person from death and restore that person to life anda full measure of good health as well.


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this is just how i have come to understand it for myself but when it comes to christs sacrifice on the cross in a way one could look at it as being that of a man who is pure of heart who has for purely unselfish reasons willingly given up their life and theire very spiritual exiistance in the afterlife to save the life and the soul of another living person from death


or in the case of jesus christ he gave up his soul to save the souls of all mankind . if one person could do that for all of mankind and if the desciples and their successors could do such things in life

then whats to say that each living person could not also posess that very same potential to do at least one of those things for a single friend, a relative or a loved one?

just because each person in life must eventually die that does not mean that each person dies a justful death

all i am really trying to say right now is that there are times when one must be willing to go beyond mere prayer in having faith in god

that one must at times be willing at times to put thier self through a trial by fire on the matter in both having the faith and the courage to take whatever action would be neccesary to force the situation to change for the better trhough faith , determination and willpower as well and also the guts to make claear to god at any cost to ones person the horible injustice there is in the matter of a young man or woman being forced to die the untimely death before their time
at a young age because of a opportunistic disease /virus or mugger /psychopath out loking to get their sick kicks and not carieng inth e slightest who has to be made to unwillingly suffer for it at the time as the victim


it being somewhat akin to going against fate itself in a way so to speak

sometimes one must be willing to make clear to to god the injustice of the matter if one is to find any justice at all in the living world in that persons selfless desire as a purehearted faith minded person to make the matter be changed for the better in some way for all concerned



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in love all things are possible

so long as one is pure of heart and does so for thoroughly unselfish reasons, when one is willing tog ive up their life and their very soul for love one can at times gain through god the power to change the world along the way as well

of all the canines i have known as immediate family to my person over the years i have known at least 1 that i was so close to on a personel level that i loved that dog like she was literally my own flesh and blood daughter


her name was ala and she was a red short haired minature doxhound. she was my friend but over time i came to love here like she was my own daughter over time

at one point in her life when she was just 3 years old she became paralyzed through the hind legs and lower back while she was still at a young age in her life and overtime it got to the point that she would have to be put down at the time it happened.

all i know is that at one point there was nothing that the vet could do to heal her short of extremely costly surgery that i and my family could not afford at all at the time

at one point i got so desperate that i had given considerable thought to the matter and was seriously willing to give up my soul to god on the matter if thats what it would take at the time to heal my ala so that she could go on living her full remaining lifetime in good health and without experieincing any further physical pain or suffering in her life time.

at the time as far as i was concerned a life lived with out my beloved daughter ala was a life not worth living at all and at the time i literally did not care what would become of my person in this living world or in the afterlife

sometimes in life when you love that person so much, truly love that person more then life itself when that person is young and dieing and should by all rights have the rest of their life to live ahead of them

when you instead are forced to watch that young person who is suffering and dieing from a untimely death

sometimes it can be enough to make a person want to willingly give up anything of their being including their very soul and drive that person to literally go against the will of god and heaven itself and brave death and the fires of hell itself if need be to preserve that dieing persons soul and their right to live and to preserve that persons good health so as to keep them from dieing the untimely death they are in no way deserving of

where family and true friends are concerned i just happen to be that kind of guy through and through


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as it played out at the time i just prayed that god would willing to heal her and allow me to die in her place instead so that ala could go on living her life in good health

as for alla she managed to make a full recovery in a months time though the vet never could understand for himself how exactly it wa possible for her to make a full recovery from such a sever injury as a paralyzed lower back and hind legs.

i have no doubt though that i will in some way find myself dieing a untimely death at some later point in my life for my role in the matter

to be honest at the time i did not much care for gods will in so far as how i chose to live my life asa gay man and i had little actual faith in him where my person was concerned at the time though i was at the time willing to have a greater degree of faith in him where the life of my friend and family relative my duaghter ala was concernedat the time and right now as well

to be honest though i got faith in christ and i accept him into my heart as my personel saviorthere are still times when i just dont give a damn for gods so called wil when it comes to how thos hate fueld religion groups are always trying to twist and pervert gods words on any and all matters concerning the gay community and if i feel i have to act against god on a matter of life and death to save the life of a young friend or family relative like this i wont think twice of the consequences of my actions where my soul is concerned

i would do that for any friend or relative in my family human or canine alike for that matter


as the person who adopted ala when she was a pup i fully understood at that time the full degree of responsibility that i was taking on in adopting her and raising her.

in the time i knew her as a living person i was always aware of the fact that one day i might very well have to make certain personel sacrifices of my person to keep her healthy and well whether it be financially or otherwise

as they say

Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends, his family , his loved ones.

in life alla was each and all of those to me as my friend and as my daughter

if the matter has taught me one thing over time it is that at times one must be willing to take such action on a matter like that if they are to have any chance at all in forcing the matter to change for the better

they say that in love all things are possible and that at times the power of love can be the very thing that can save a persons soul from death and the fires of hell

do i regret giving my soul to heal her?
yes

do i regret the reason that i did this?
no i do not

all the same though i am willing to make amends for my past and to live my life as a better person who has learned over time to have a greater degree of personel faith in god even though he still strikes me as being something of a jerk ass at times

to be honest i have always felt closer to canines over humans on a personel level

to be honest i believe that at times a person can be entirely justified in there person truly hating gods person on a personel level if only for a period of time in their life what with it at times being a natural part of the greiving process

and i see nothing worng with that just so long as the person who is grieving does not allow it to develope into a life long grudge and personel vendetta agaisnt god

a possible example of this can be found in the first time mother who has lost her infant to death asa victim of sudden infant death syndrome in spite ofthe fact that the first time mother has done evry thing huamnely possible on her part to love and to care for the child to the fullest degre of her personel abilities

in a situation like that i believe that the mother would have every right to litereally hate gods guts asa person over the matter if only for a time do to it being a natural part of the grieving process


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