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Chris_Gross

I don't understand... - Looking for LOVE!!!

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I can't understand why it seems like NOBODY wants to date me

I'm a humble, fun, energetic, goal oriented, forward going guy with my head screwed on right, money in my pockets and a heart to give away, yet nobody seems to want it? I know I'm not exaclt an a&f model in the looks department, but I love to cuddle and do sweet special things for that sweet special guy while also bringing out a little kinky side when the doors are locked. People seem to tell me I'm very sweet and dateable but nobody seems to want to take the plug?

Why? Be honest with me, guys. What am I missing?


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“ I would!
(Date you!)
Most men, want what they can not have. and sadly once they've had it, they easily grow bored or restless and they wander,.............then when they lose that which they had, It is only then, that they realized the value, of what maybe forever lost.
It has been my experience that most men are scared of commitment, they love "sowing their oats". and will not be tied down. The ONLY thing I see wrong with you, is your last name,........................for you are so not "Gross", in any way shape or form. ”


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Desiderata
-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.


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Well Chris. I know how u feel cuz I have a exact case as u do. I was really going to hundreds of dating webs to find my special guy, but it didn't work out for me and still nothing. I don't things so u r missing something, maybe it isn't ur time yet! i know it's sound crazy but, believe me, cuz I'm in the same situation as u r!

( i hope this been a help for u)


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Boy Andre, you really hit that nail, directly on it's head! Dating is a dying art form. Most just want to hit that proverbial home run. Gone is 1st, 2nd and 3rd base. Commitment? What's that? Oh, the clipping of the wings. Some of us want just that (I do, hate being single). Internet dating sites? A dime a dozen and not all promise the aspects of finding someone. Been there, done that. My final attempt, I guess I was at the right one at the right time. I met someone. A super nice man. He's a little older than myself too. We only live 1 hr from each other. We've not met yet, since his job keeps him busy. We chat online, have exchanged pictures and since we both have a web cam... We are taking this one super slow. No rushing and no sex on the first date (kissing and groping allowed). We've both been down this road before and we've each have learned many things about what makes a relationship work. It looks like Andre is quite smitten with you Chris. I'd take him up on that "date". You just never know, he could be the one who'll clip your wings, providing you're done, sowing your wild oats. Good Luck!


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Thanks, Krystoffer Viau.
The first guy I met here was a super hottie and I thought we were gonna take it slow and before I knew it, we were looking at rings. But not sure what went wrong,..................O yeah, let's see I just turn 55, and told "Him" I have been living with AIDS since 1982, (I was a former Nursing Assistant, but who am I kidding! When I left the Jerry Falwell/Pat Robertson State Of "We are Hypocrites when we say-Virginia is for Lovers" we (they) didn't mean gays or even married Str8 couples who where having sex outside of the state prescribed Norms, is a crime! So When I came to LA, in 82, I was a Kid in a Candy Shop, you could even then enjoy MTV,............but little did I know or anyone for that matter, those days of catching something outside of Herpes could be cured with a shot, and 10 days of antibiotics,............................Sadly it seems, that People both str8 and gay haven't learnt their lesson,...........STDs are all on the rise,.................O and BTW, that awesome guy I did meet here that I thought was a gays guys dream come true,...........................................was actually a FTM Transgendered person which is OK, for "Him",....................I was willing to wait until he was 18, but web cams work wonders, you can really see and sorta know if this might be either the chosen one for you or , I am going on 9 years of being single, and as time goes by,.....................I have very little patience with anyone Else's crap but my own. It's been so long, I wouldn't even know where, how or even if I should begin,...... Stern words of caution-Always use condoms because many people both men and women, lie about their status! Please note I did not name that person out of respect for that person's right to privacy.


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I ask myself the same question all the time.
I think it just comes to being in the right place, with the right person at the right time.
If something is 'wrong' - then it won't happen.

Which is probably for the best, because you'll only end u hurt or wasting time if something is wrong with a pairing..


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O.k. you are cute. I love that you state that you would be kinky when the doors are locked. I feel that same way. . . a gentlemen in the streets, but a freak in the bed. hahaha.
I ask myself why I want a relationship so badly. I feel that I need to experience a relationship to better understand who I am. There are not many gay men in my area so I am going to say that this is why I have only been on one date.


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There are some very interesting things about love, beyond all the songs and stories we've been told.
It is my single greatest wish not to offend anyone, anytime about anything.
That being said, you can not live your life walking on eggshells just because no matter how true it is what ever you are saying, many people may take issue with it or be flat out offended.
OK, the bad or 1/2 truths we have been led to believe:
1) We do not NEED anyone to complete us! You should a;ready have yourself together before meeting anyone!
2) there are seldom if ever any "Happy ever afters!". Love takes a lot of work from both people who are willing to engage the fine art of compromise, and the willingness to forgive, understand and work with each other, without the need to shout, scream, call each other names, or either belittle each other or bring up a painful memory, that the other person has entrusted you with, and you use that as a weapon against them.
Drama, is fine on the stage, theater, or blue ray. It has no place in the home of two people who want to share their lives with each other.
Jealousy! Has not place in the lives of those who love one another, or to point it another way you are NOT the property of each other, which isn't to say that if your concerns are valid that you try to protect the other person, but at the same time, you should or need to understand, things change, people fall both into and out of love, and if you really love that other person, then support them in any way, (This does not include, abusive, violent, verbal, psychological, spiritual or physical.) the second this starts get out, because you need to love and protect yourself, and even if the other person begs forgiveness, and to never do it again, forget it, that line has been crossed and there's no going back, He may not continue to love you, but in the end he will respect you because you loved yourself enough, to protect yourself! It is awesome to be honest, but then again, I would recommend on doing a little back ground checking!, via the net or anywhere else. I do not mean to frighting anyone, but the majority of murders are done by people the victim knew. Do Not count on a temporary restraining order to actually protect you, it is nice to carry it with you where ever you are, and always be prepared and aware if you are being stalk! Report this immediately to the police, and do not allow them to talk you out of making a report, get their names and badges numbers, if they refuse, call their boss.
It's your life, and although that last person you thought you could cure if you loved him enough, but couldn't, Know this, that isn't your fault it is their decision. You can not help those who do not want to be help or even admit of recognize, that they have a problem,...............It isn't you!
Before you move in together, copy the serial numbers of all your belongings, You can even video tape your home, this comes in handy for more then just a user, seeing you as a "Mark". Please Make sure you have the Real whole name of the person. His date of birth, social and so on. Never ever, give your house/car keys or the codes to your PIN numbers to anyone, except maybe a lawyer in the event of your death in a will.
Never take a walk with someone you just told you had them taken off your insurance,........... This sounds silly, but joint checking and saving is not a good idea, ever. It's been said b4 and is worth repeating now,.........."You must love yourself" before you can love anyone else".
I am not either pretty nor perfect, but with all my heart, I hope this may do some good to anyone who reads it.
There two other sayings,..................Looking for love, will not work, when the right man comes along you both will know it.
The other saying: "It is a shame, that God didn't give men,............ enough blood to use both heads at once!' You can think about that one!
There are some men who hold the opinion, who are gay, that love between two men is impossible! They can only use each other for sex.
I highly doubt that. If that were even true, why then are we fighting for the right to marry? Understand the difference between "Loving someone" and being IN love with someone",............and then the saddest truth of all,.......................Just because we love someone, doesn't mean nor obligate them,..... in any way to love us back. You should except that IS life is unfair, no use in repeating it. But knowing that actually can and may help you take off those life is so rosy glasses, made in Hollywood, thing never if ever turn out that way, even though we can all hope. Be Good to yourself! Light a Candle, Put on your favorite music, and remember you are the best possession you have, so then treat it accordingly,......... Music suggestions : You can check them out on YouTube: Libera, RyanDan, Enya, Yanni, Chris Spheeris, Celtic Women, Ii Divo, Enigma
Wishing you all love, peace and happiness, which you may never find if all you have is "DOTBS"! "D__K on the brain syndrome" I made that up, but it;s true.
You can not win a mans heart, if your face is in his lap, try instead, of looking him str8 in the eye with no expectations, and let your hearts do the rest!


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I strongly believe that there is always somebody meant for everyone. I go out on dates an average of 2 or 3 times a week and believe me I am still looking. Sometimes I don't know If I am to blame myself...if I have set my standards too high or am I looking for something I can't put a finger on. You look hot so maybe there is nothing really wrong its just that the right time hasn't come yet. I still believe in magic. I still believe in destiny. Call me a helpless romantic but believe me HE will come. It is just a matter of time. I am a thousand miles a way but if opportunity presents itself I might ask you out! Id love too.


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I don't really believe that there is someone for everyone. What about all the people that have passed and they were single? I do believe one should have faith that it will happen. Good thoughts help. However, one must learn to be happy single. Looking for love is good, but just as long a person is not looking for it in order to be happy. Happiness starts with the single man or woman. On a side note, I hear Donna Summer will be releasing a new single called, Looking For Love. Imagine that! I hope it's true


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Just means Donna is still looking. I had pretty much given up on the looking part, gave one of those online dating sites, one last shot. I guess my last shot, someone took an interest in me and did his damnest to contact me. We did finally find a way to connect and we've been emailing and hooking up online, via windows live. We've even cammed several times, since we live about 1 hr. from each other. We were both in the same boat and had pretty much given up on ever meeting someone, that was compatible. I guess there is something to be said, about those who do wait. I will agree, some remain
single until their passing day. For them, they gave up. Sometimes remaining single is easier. I'm not one for the single life and after having 2 LTR's both spanning a decade plus each, you get used to having your wings clipped. The gentleman I just met, he's in the same mind set.


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I wonder why it seems like nobody wants to date you! (I added two last paragraphs. Check 'em out Chris!).

Or maybe a lot of guys would like to date you, but you are kinda "picky" about who you would date? What are you looking for in a date? How would you like the man of your dreams, your ltr guy, to be? Be honest but not with me: with yourself.

I may be old, but few years ago I finally found out what real love means. And I no more follow people's looks or judge them by first impression. I give 'em all a chance to get to know each other and let ourselves find out if there is what they call "chemistry" between us.

I deeply fell in love with a guy who wasn't at all what I thought before it was 'my type'. Don't take me wrong, I still have a 'type' of guy I like and obviously I love cute faces, charming smiles, gorgeous eyes, skinny smooth bodies. But, after falling in love with that guy, I understood what the real feelong of loving someone was.

Few years after that, when our relationship ended (long story, but we still are very good friends an even roomates for 8 years and yes, if you ask, with some 'benefits') I falled in love with a really obese guy. I just loved him for who he was, not for how he looked. Now he's lost a lot of weight but he no longer lives in the same city I live. We still are in touch and I would date him if we lived closer.

Would you date a fat guy? An older fellow? An ugly boy? A man from another country or another race?

I may be wrong, but I guess you are limiting yourself and that is the reason you think "nobody" wants to date you. Maybe, 'nobody' you would date wants to date you! Tell me -honestly- if I am wrong, because of course I could be, since I don't really know you well enough! =o)

I wouldn't say I may date you, as I wouldn't say I may not date you. I would need to get to know you better first and have you get to know me as well and see if we 'click'. I may like your picture, your description, even I might like it if we chat sometimes and it seems like we have a lot of interests and points of view in common. But a strong and a longlasting relationship needs more than that and it's only by interacting regularly in random activities that you get it.

Even a walk in a park having a real simple conversation gives you a better clue of what kind of guy you have by your side. Those things that seem to be so little and so simple are the real important ones. Not a "perfect romantic unique and expensive date", but the simple valuable things in life reveal more of the qualities in a possible partner. At least is the way I see it. ;o)

- Rafael (Arvakur) =oD


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I agree with what you said in your last two paragraphs, Rafael.


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Oh, and Krystoffer, Donna is married and seemingly very happily married. LOL.


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Hmmm, after loosing my first to AIDS, we had a wonderful life together. We valued many things in this life and shared in them all. As for my 2nd, he wanted different things and preferred the singles life. He was more inclined to pick up the next best thing, much rather eat hamburger than the steak, he had at home. So I cut him loose, so he could have his cake and eat it too. This one I just met, we both understand that a good relationship takes time. We both are not into the singles life and since we've both have had long term relationships, we both have lost a partner either to AIDS or Cancer, so we know the devastation of this enormous loss. We also know, we don't wish to be single and that dating is a must. This way, we've taken the time to get to know one another. As you get older, it's not that easy to meet someone, especially when your not into the "gay scene". So, you take your chances looking in other areas. Some prefer singledom (I'm not knocking that, ok?) where as others, would rather have a significant other. I have said my good bye's to countless friends over these years, who've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. That was their choice. They were happy being single, they had their friends etc and for me, that's all that mattered. Everyone's life is different. Some wish to remain single, whereas, others want a mate. They say that there is someone for everyone but there are those who don't want anyone. This is their choice. And for that alone, I refuse to question, why.


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Definitely, I am looking forward for a longlasting and solid relationship. Being single is just not for me... I really need someone in my life to share it with. Hope I won't stay single for too much long. =o)


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Well you do seem like a nice guy, and I dont know why guys dont bite... I think if you are content in yourself, are looking, and are friendly and helpful towards others your chances will increase.

Lots of great points in this discussion.


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I have had the unique opportunity, living in Hollywood, to get to know some of the famous, beautiful, models, actors, and those that aspired to be one, the other or both. It is easy to think of some people who are beautiful as shallow and self centered, but I was fortunate enough to find some who were very loving (No sex) caring and even protective of me. I was quite proud to be seen in their company, although most of them have moved on with their lives, I shall always treasure, the Long drives a the Beach with Stephen M. The Fights I had on the issue of depression and bi-polar disorder with a certain Patrick M. Who claim that "those" people were just acting out pretending to be "sick" to get attention,.......................You, who ever you are, cannot imagine the disbelief on his face when I finally told him after two years of knowing him, that if I really wanted him to feel "Sorry" for me, I would had told him, that I had AIDS,..............Total shock and disbelief,...........I didn't want to tell him, I had no reason too. We're were the best of friends, and I felt that disclosure should only be for or with people you are making love with. I don't think he ever thought of depression the same way again, not me for that matter.
He came to respect my nobility of silence, until my bi-polar (No it has nothing to do with sex) got out of hand, finally made me say it, so that he might be able to fathom, the estrangement, oneness, the stigma of being a person who had AIDS. He stated that he hated my family for having abandoned me for years to deal with this on my own,.......................and now so has he.
Life is very much like the shore line, it ebbs and flows and I am sure there are over 100 ways to describe it in beach surfer lingo.
In human sexuality, there's also a bevy of people and the ways they choose and some not to express themselves. Their "closets" are in Bottles of alcohol, hidden with drugs, to numb "The Love that Dare not speaks It's Name" that can't deal with it. Unless so called party favours are offered or their claim to make money and so on. From childish Obsession about size and so on, which degrades the Nobility of Us being human, and more like the Lycan and Vampires, who almost Nightly go out to seek their prey. Humankind can be so much more then that, I hope. Love and the measure of a Man isn't found between his legs, but his mind, soul and heart. ( Just my two cents)
Another youtube song for you all: Lee Ann Womack I hope you dance ;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIAWY4LLsEw ,.................Sometimes, if you don't like the way life looks, ........................Change your view~!
Peace and love. My friends have gone now, and that's OK, they will always be with me, and I am grateful, for the love, time, kindness, and the honor of calling them my friends. Sex was never a option, although we made fun of it all the time. being different can actually be funny

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hey chris you just described thesame kind of life i am stuck living right now

i swear at the rate i am going i will never mfind my self mr right


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