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Melanie_Downing

Does this make any sense? - Lesbian Ladies

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Melanie_Downing
Posted

Ok so I just broke up with my girlfriend of 8 months, and its been tough. Her reasoning for wanting to go on a break that would end the relationship was that I "got manlier". Wtf? First of all, if I was so manly from the beginning, why were you attracted to me for 8 long months and just now you're deciding that it's a bad thing? Secondly, aren't I woman? I get my period, I have boobs and a vagina lol, shouldn't that be enough? It's been ragging on my self-esteem, because I equate that with not being beautiful. I'm also starting to think that I may only be able to date bisexuals, since the love both masculine and feminine qualities. I tried asking her about the whole thing, and she would never give me a straightforward reply. It's a lost cause, I guess.


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Melanie_Downing
Posted

You're supposed to love someone for what's on the inside, not the outside..


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Karlie_Allen
Posted

She just wasn't right for you... I know it sucks now but thankfully it wasn't farther down the road. You just know what red flags to look for. Next girl you find, make sure you ask how does she feel about females that are more tom boyish or masculine... Because I totally get you about being yourself. I am a dominant femme.... I think and talk like a man but I do it in a dress and hot pink nails lol


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Melanie_Downing
Posted

Lol you're right..I am more dominant and whatever but sometimes I like dressing up and wearing make up. I'm not like, a total butch. It didn't make sense to me, but I guess I just gotta look for someone who accepts me for who I am.


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Karlie_Allen
Posted

Yes!!! Because if you're anyone else but yourself then the relationship is as fake and the person you are trying to portray!
I have so much confidence in this!!!


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Melanie_Downing
Posted

It's so true..thanks


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Charlie_Cox_58352
Posted

She obviously didn't love you for who you are! I know it's going to be hard and things, but I guess you've just got to try and move on and find someone who will accept you for you x


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Posted

big hugs, i agree, believe in you and things will get better. love urself and then u wont let others try and make u feel bad, just say hey i am what i am deal with it =P


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Posted

Thats all sounds really sucky :/ but tbh that's the biggest pile of rubbish ever don't change the way you are ... Ya know even if you are a little dykey way aye that's nothing bad is it ... Her prob at the end of the day x


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Sandra_Rodrigo
Posted

I had a very similar thing happen to me. And I felt the same way you did about it.. it really hurts your pride. Just remember a girl that can do that kind of thing to you and play around with you emotionally is not worth your time. i agree with Karlie. In the next relationship talk about it from early on and make sure the girl can be attracted to you the way you are. Being masculine doesn't mean you're not beautiful. There are plenty of women out there who love that.

Also, I think it's often a misconception that you need to go with a bi girl to be accepted. Bi girls can prefer femme or butch or in-between. And same with gay girls. There ARE gay girls out there who would be attracted to girls like you, believe me. Just be patient when figuring out which girls those are and figure it out before getting into a relationship with them so you won't have to feel this way again. Good luck!


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jessicazylee
Posted

i think it's just an excuse. dont take that sort of stuff to heart... so she wanted to end it, she lost feelings for it. then she should have just treated it at that.


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Posted

Absolutely do not let her make you feel self-conscious. If she's breaking up with you purely on you apparent "manly dominance" then thats the most ridiculous thing ever. I can understand if you're starting off in a relationship and you dont like that sort of thing to begin with, but if you were with her for 8 months obviously its something she's enjoyed up until now. If she really loved you it wouldnt matter to her. She would appreciate you beyond that. I know its difficult now; break ups are always a bit raw at first, but it will get better. Besides there are plenty of girls out there that LOVE dominant women. I happen to find them extremely sexy myself (the last girl I dated was the same way). So dont you worry


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Posted

Thats unfortunate there could be other underlying issues that she isn't telling you about, but that's only my educated guess. Clearly you are meant to be with someone better


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Posted

I agree with Jessica, this was obviously just a way that she could justify breaking it off. God knows, we've all done something along those lines (I've done it countless times with guys who were perfectly nice), just because the heart's not in it anymore.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you being a little dominant, speaking as a bi girl, I find dominance to be an attractive quality in both sexes.
You just need to find somebody who appreciates you for you, and they are out there. Just keep your head held high and be proud of who you are!


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