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Gilkon

I think something is wrong with me... - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

Well here is how it goes....

I got to bed at around 11:30pm and for about 2 hours I couldn't get to sleep. I just laid there in my bed for some weird reason. My body began to get really tired after the 2 hours and then I just drifted to sleep. All throughout today, I was depressed and kinda sad. Again I didn't know what the reason was. About a week ago my bf broke up with me and I thought to myself that my bf leaving me couldn't of been the reason of me being depressed, because it happened like a week ago, the effect of depression should of started then and there. I got a new job and I am starting training this week for this job. Again I thought to myself that this couldn't be the reason why I was depressed, because I was actually really excited about this job that I was starting.

Can anyone give me any clues or ideas as to why I am feeling this way? Is it a mental, emotional or a physical issue?


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Posted

Sometimes things take a little while to surface. Your break up is one of them and although you are excited about your new job, you'll still feel a little anxiety, because it is a new beginning. An ending and a beginning happening at around the same time can affect you in ways you might not realize. Once the dust settles, not only on the break up, but the new job as well, you should settle back down. Sometimes a little normalcy in one's life is a good thing. Just relax and you'll be fine.


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Posted

its an emotional state, some times i get it when i feel lonely or unwanted, some time the problems just build up in your subconscious and break out all at once,try to be happy go out, do somthing fun, find a guy you know, you have to break the circle of deprecation and make it out, thats just one guy's opinion
with love, hope you be will soon.


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Yeremiah_Hardt
Posted

I suggest just doing something you enjoy, like going somewhere for a.weekend


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

you are haveing a mental, emotional break down because your boyfriend broke up with you. what you need to do is go to a good friend that you can talk to and tell him how you feel and what you are going through. get every thing out in the open. this happen to me once and the end result for me was going to a counselor and being put on zoloft while talking about my feelings and what i was going through out the year.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Arron
You know the best thing to do is get your mind off the things that you think is brothering you...If you have a park near by just go for a simple walk and tell yourself that it is over with him and the new job is going to be great...and don't go looking for another guy untill well after you are seattle in your job...If no park then just walk around your town and look at it like it is your frist time..and think about how your life is going to be with the new job..
Good Luck in your new Job and just have a fun day.., just like the day is Beautiful and so are you...

Mike
M&G Team member


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Posted

First of all, I think the two tie in together. First, you were feeling upset your bf, broke off your relationship, even though I don't know how long the two of you were together, I would think the longer you were together, the tougher it would be to just get over a relationship. Second, I think with your new job, you wished you had someone to come home to to talk about it with. Since your bf is no longer there, you are unable to tell him the happy or stressful news. I hope you have good luck with your new job, and don't let your ex mess it up for you. Live life, be happy, and remember how beautiful you are on the inside and the outside you are.


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Heebie999
Posted

Several good comments above.

I think you're looking at grief. There are several "stages" of grief which vary depending on whom you ask. Some don't apply to all grieving. (and grieving doesn't only happen with death, but can happen with the loss of anyone, or anything, important to you.)

"Denial" is usually the first phase (They actually differ a lot depending on what psychologist you ask.) and you can acknowledge the loss.. and still deny it. You can instigate it..and still deny it.
Denial is a phase where you kind of push the pain away somehow.. hide it in a deep pocket somewhere inside, while you deal with other issues (possibly issues like getting a new job.) Then.. when those issues are no longer requiring your primary attention.. here comes the grief rushing back in and you move on to the other stage.
Anger is usually next, where you tend to be angry about something. This is one of the steps that is often skipped over. If the breakup was mutual.. then it's logical that there is no anger phase. If he broke it off.. it's natural to be angry about it. If you broke it off.. it's STILL natural for you to be angry about it, and ask questions like "Why did I do that?"
Next comes "Bargaining".. where you might ask God to bring him back to you, or even start doing things like trying to get back with him, even if you know it's a really bad idea. The name comes from people commonly doing things like promising God "I'll go to church every day & give 10% of my income to the church for the rest of my life."
Next is where you seem to be: Depression. This tends to bring ALL your worries together into a great big morass that you don't feel you can get out from under. You tend to feel in adequate to the tasks that come your way and things like that. Somewhere in here is generally when (in the case of a death) a funeral happens. It may sound silly.. but you could throw a "wake" for your relationship & ask your best friends over.. but that might not work for you. (and if it might work for you.. you probably don't want to call it a "mourn for the relationship" party.. just call it a party)

Oddly, this is the phase that puts you on the path to feeling better.. and getting to the last phase: Acceptance.

Acceptance is pretty obvious.. you accept what has happened, and you figure out what steps you need to take to move past it.

This doesn't mean that pain magically goes away.. just that you've accepted it, and that you're ready to move on. You don't appear to be quite ready to do this yet... but probably soon.. Posting this thread might very well be your first step from depression and into acceptance, so hang in there!

Here's some good information on grief:
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/

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Richard_Edwards
Posted

My boyfriend broke up with me 19 months ago after living together for 7 years. I was already seeing a counselor and a psychiatrist before this happened. It helped me a lot to have a counselor with whom to talk.

I went through the following stages - shock, anger and sadness. Each stage was intense, and not always separate from each other. Even after all this time has passed, I still get some anger and sadness. But it no longer has the intensity that it used to and it passes after a short time. Besides talking to a counselor, I also talked with some people at my church. It helped to talk about it and not to bury my feelings.

Although I don't usually do it, some people have told me that they write down their feelings keeping a daily or weekly journal and that has helped them to look more directly at what is going on with them.

Again I repeat, what has helped me to heal was facing my feelings directly. The anger wasn't only at my ex, it was also at god. I needed to express myself because if I didn't I would get depressed.

Feel free to private message me if you want.


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Zachary_Holmes
Posted

I did the same as you with my ex after we split, I slept every spare hour I had for 3months almost. Don't do the same as me, it sucks and it's easy to fall into. You may of been feeling down before the breakup but it still won't help. Sleeping all the time when depressed is not a fun road to go down!!!


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