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Quinn_Calendine

girl issues - Lesbian Ladies

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Posted

So, I'm in love with my ex, and she apperantly loves me too. however, she is dating a guy and (as far as I know) they arent doing well and are on the verge of breaking up. anyways, my point to ths thread is that she claims I'm hot and cold. and, I agree. I believe I have every right to be hot and cold. I know what I want, but I cant have it (yet, I think) and she said she's "trying to ruin her relationship" with this guy to be with me. but, I thought it wouldnt take this long to ruin a relationship. what are your thoughts? think she's just using me as a backup? no idea what to do at this point..thought I'd come ask for opinions


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Posted

maybe shes afraid of the uncertainess of the change/new relationship?


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D.M_Barrera
Posted

I had something like that going on with my ex. To me, it seems like I'm back up. Because she knows yu still want her so she can have yu whenever she wants. If she wants yu or loves yu she would just end it with the guy. No need for plans, plots, or whatever to ruin the relationship.
Lets say I offer yu coke or sprite to drink, if yu love coke yu will pick coke. Why in the world would yu choose sprite if yu love coke?

Be careful.


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Posted

so, what do sugguest I do? she's also my best friend so it's sorta hard to cut all ties. the longest i have gone is15 days with no contact whatsoever and she basically was begging for me to come back. should i do that again


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Rose_Downer
Posted

I think for now until she has sorted out her relationship with her boyfriend to just be her friend. See what happens. If they break up then talk about it with her. Or if she still ends up with him, you still have a friend at the end of the day. Hope this helps a little


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Posted

it's hard to be her friend when all she texts me is 'ok' and sometimes she doesnt respond. but, I think I will definetly give her all the space she wants in the world and then see what happens from there. I am still willing to be her friend just, not when she acts like this. again, she has every right to act like this but i already apologized for the way i was acting and I moved on, I put it behind me. she just holds grudges


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Emma_Glossop
Posted

she sounds exactly like my ex.... except for the with a guy part


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Posted

Geeze... Those sound like ex's I used to have. You definitely don't want to continue a relationship with those. Always move forward. There are better fishes in the sea. Trust me, those always end in heart breaks. If they value your friendship then they should respect your decisions too. If they leave you as a friend and never come back, then they were obviously using you as a back up. A true friend always respects your decisions and values your friendship with them. Friends also come and go. As for grudges, thats childish on her part. But you don't have to take my word for it. Personally speaking, I have a lot of experience under my belt. I know its tough to see right now, but its up to you the receiver of pain to decide how much more you can take.


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Posted

I've been single for a decade now.. haha she's always been the one to always stick around and at least want me. havent had anyone else come after me. everytime I wanna go after someone, they're taken or fall in love with THEIR ex. so, I feel like I'm not so cut out to give away my love. I've been waiting forever for something to happen


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Posted

Well you do realize that when you started this discussion that your bound to get a billion advices from a lot of people on this site. Whether its professional or personal. All you can do is say thank you and take what you got. I understand your situation very much so because all my life with women it feels like a lost cause so thats why I can relate and give you up and personal advice. But try not to let a lot of bad luck or experiences have you settle for one ex. Remember someone who says they want you doesn't leave you for their ex that plays no logic.


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Posted

oh yeah, I totally knew that and that's what I was looking for. anything is possible.


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Posted

personally i think you deserve better. and personally, me being a full lesbian i dont think id be able to cope with the idea that she'd slept with a man or was sleeping with one.


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Posted

*high fives Aimee* I couldn't have said it better myself. She just wrapped up what I said in better words. Everyone deserves better. Not everyones words is always going to sound all nice and fluffy all the time. I know it all sounds bad right now but you have to realize its all truthful and honest. I just don't want to see you get hurt. I say take some time away from relationships andtry to re-focus on your life more. Try to tell yourself if she can't be with you and left you for someone whether it be her ex or someone else. If she didn't want that person then why go to them in the first place? :/


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