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Jony_Star

My Friend's Confusion Is A Mystery... - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

ok well some of you know that i went clubbing w/a friend twice and made out w/him while he has a bf...his name is andre btw...which i know is wrong...nobody has to remind me that...well after gettin kicked out of the club last night...we went back to his place...he now lives w/his bf in Hollywood...so i'm keeping my guard up...becuz i told him this wasn't gonna happen a 3rd time...but...well he's over there hugging me and everything...and i bring up what we're doing...i want to know why???...why are you trying to get w/me if you already have a bf who you love???...he says he can't explain it...it's complicated...which btw i never accept those kind of answers...things are so simple...and they all have an explanation...of course the logical thoughts i was getting are that he loves us both...which i'm sorry to say i don't believe that...i'm sure there are people who will disagree with me...but a person can't be in love w/two people...he tells me that he's sorry that he doesn't wanna hurt me...that he really likes me but he can't leave his bf...i told him it was ok...he's not hurting me...and that i dont' feel bad at all...if i was him i would choose his current bf too...i couldn't even give myself that chance...with no job, or college...it's hard...so those are the 2 things i wanna sort out before i start looking for love...i've been sorting myself out...and i've detached myself emotionally from him...so those feelings for him are gone...all i want is for him to be happy...and i know his bf can give him more than i ever could...he's been through so much...that he deserves to be w/that special someone...even if that someone isn't me...cuz i've left that in the past...and i told him...don't worry about me...i know there's someone waiting for me...i'm just not ready to look for him yet...idk if i eneded up confusing my friend more...cuz at 1st i wanted him to confess his feelings for me...then told him to forget me...and stay w/his bf...and then i decide to really put him to the test...i told him i loved him...which i really didn't...and he knows...and he told me he can't say it back...and idk if he said it in all honesty...or if he just said it to shut me up...but he told me he can't say it back cuz he loves his bf...oh and btw he told his bf about the last 2 times...and still his bf forgave him...that's how i know his bf is better for him...cuz if i was in his situation i wouldn't have done the same thing...anywho...idk if he told me the truth...or if he said it to shut me up...but in my heart i wanna believe it's because he was telling me the truth...cuz if he wasn't he's only hurting himself...and the point of me having that conversation with him...was to help him clarify things...but idk if i just confused him more instead of help him...cuz while we're having this conversation we were foolin around...but i made sure i stayed in control...cuz i didn't want things to get to far...he said he might tell his bf it happened again...and idk how much that poor guy can take...but i already know he hates my guts...cuz he doesn't really reply to me on facebook...which now makes sense...he knows about our previous 2 making out incidents...anywho...i can only hope that there is not gonna be a 4th time...and i'll probably make sure it doesn't happen...


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Posted

jony, i think you are right to be careful, you have already had close relations with this guy, where he has told his bf about you, making out that you were the cause.
I dont think so, if you were not available, he would have found someone else.
as for your situation as finding a job, that is more important than any number of 1night stands.
you need to find someone who will appreciate you for who you are, and not just treat you like a piece of meat, to be fucked when it suits him.
this is all over the gay world,everyone chasing cock, not really wanting a relationship, it seems it has not changed that much since i was a young guy


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well this goes way back...we had feelings for each other...but for the sake of being best friends...i didn't want to get with him...we would flirt w/each other...thinking it was a joke...but the joke was on us...it's only sometime after that we confessed the feelings that we had for each other...the 1st time we made out...we blamed it on the alcohol...which i know is really no excuse...and probably the stupidest excuse...but when we're sober...we're ok...we're the best friends that we always are...and as soon as alcohol is introduced...bam there we go...and i feel guilty...2nd time i blamed it on ourselves cuz we knew better...i tried keeping my guard up...and apparently failed on that part...i had asked him does he still have feelings for me...that's when he said he doesn't know how to explain it...it's complicated...and this 3rd time it didn't start as making out...we were on his bed...and he was trying to cuddle at 1st...making his way to me and then trying to make out...& i stopped him...and that's when we started to talk about it...he didn't want to...but i insisted...and well to get the answers that i wanted...i had to toy with him once in a while to get it out of him...which now that i think about it...he didn't give me a whole lot of info...but anywho...overall i think he still really likes me...but loves his bf...and the key to that was because when i said "i love you" (which i really didn't mean...not cuz i was drunk...but because again as i said...it took me some time...but i'm emotionally detached now...so those feelings i once felt for him are gone...anywho...he said he couldn't say it back...and i'm really glad he didn't...cuz idk what to even think if he had said it...because he was worried about hurting me...but i was more concerned for him...because i may not have that hard...cuz he still has to go back to his bf knowing what happened...i can only hope he kept this 3rd time a secret...i don't think his bf can take that much...and andre's 1 of my best friends...the last thing i wanna do is have to end our friendship so that his relationship w/his bf can truly become stable...again i don't believe that people can love 2 people at the same time...they confuse love w/lust, or like...i mean i know he never said he loved me...but i could feel the hesitation of him not trying ti say it...which again i'm glad he didn't...but for me love is when you find that one person who satisfies you in everyway...and completes you...i'm a very intuitive person...i catch on to people's feelings and even thoughts...and i know he loves me...but really cares for this guy cuz he's super nice and has that stability that i lack right now...and that's totally fine...i can only hope that instead of liking his bf...he can actually love him...cuz he deserves the best...as do we all...and i wouldn't wanna lose this close friendship we have...who knew things could get so complicated...but there's always a way to simplify these things...and i hope that i got thru to him and finally clarified things between us...but i feel that if there's any hope of saving his relationship w/his bf...that he communicated on what his needs are and what he wants to do about it to fix it...


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JJ_NN
Posted

why do you want an affair with somebody, you know he has a bf already???????????????????/

i don't understand !!!!!!!!!!!!!

JJ


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JJ_NN
Posted

it looks to me you just want an adventurous meeting with somebody, not looking at what you maybe are destroing ...........................just for the fun and exicetement.

i can't say i do like this kind of behavior.

JJ


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Posted

pay attention JJ...i obviously never wanted this...it never felt right...but it happened...why???...i don't know...but pretty much after the 2nd time...i detached myself emotionally from him...this 3rd time had nothing to do with me...but more with him...we talked a bit yesterday...and both agreed that there could be nothing between us...whether we're drunk or not...single or not...we had our chance before...didn't take that chance...and it's over...thank god we're both on the same page now...


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