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Tonia_Docter

Hypothetical Question... - The Gay Christian Network

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Tonia_Docter
Posted

So you have a friend who has been in a relationship (very seriously) for over three years...and the one finds out that the other has a profile on here not even mentioning that they are seeing anybody. Rough and rocky spots ensue and your friend finds out that their partner has signed up for a dating website and has not hidden the trail of breadcrumbs AT ALL. Should your friend put up with it until they can get out or confront the situation with the possibility of not having a place to live?


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Posted

You sorta answered your own question. The more important question is can you accept the fact that no one, is perfect and we all mess up every now and then, it's a part of being human. I wouldn't "confront", for that would shut the person off and it would be counterproductive. Maybe the person needs more friends, and that's all, and even if it is more, I think you should handle it in a loving, non- condescending, supportive and understanding way, if you wish to address the issue at all. Many people cheat in relationships, maybe that's just being human, maybe it isn't. Many people stay together for years because the are willing to forgive and forget, and I believe that the relationship, may become stronger for it. I hope that I am not out of place by mentioning Hillery Clinton, by way of example. Her husband not only lied to her, but to Congress and the American people, and that must have been really hard on her, and many people would not blame her if she left, but I believe, she felt that her love for her husband and for the sake of her marriage, and to set public examples, of the meaning of "For better or worse". Remember, "to err is human, to forgive is divine".
A youtube video for you I hope it helps somehow.
Jesus meets woman at a well:
http://youtu.be/z7INnvnHrlg
Go and sin no more
http://youtu.be/VgLehjvgyOQ
The Woman Caught In Adultery
http://youtu.be/6sXp_ecKiQc
Cast the First Stone
http://youtu.be/2k0RzhVJSxE
Thy Word
http://youtu.be/O9VKSBForJY
"Love One Another"
http://youtu.be/2zSaOgz_X48
But the greatest of these is love
http://youtu.be/Eht5K7BsV10
Heaven
http://youtu.be/zr1pwZXf65w
Be at peace, and that peace you find share it with others, be a beacon of love -light to shine in a very dark world.
Prayer of Saint Francis
http://youtu.be/BtJeI4Q9nBE
Libera - How Can I Keep From Singing
http://youtu.be/8gqxHnlawPI
Libera ~ Lullabye (Goodnight my Angel)
http://youtu.be/YUNMFLpdJxY
Be at peace- Shalom et Benedictus
Your little brother in Christ: Anthony of Portsmouth+++++++++++++++

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Posted

Your friend needs to take a deep breathe, draw in the strength of God and confront the situation. She will end up in exactly the place she should.
Matters of the heart are always our greatest challenge and whilst it hurts so deeply the rough and rocky spots will never be more than she can bare.
Your friend deserves to be treated with honesty and respect, she should expect no less. She should remember to let God carry her through and be comforted knowing he loves her.


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

i think that if you feel you can handle the fact the other person is out on a dating web site looking for something new, yes forgive and forget. the key word FORGET. But it sounds to me the relationship is over if the other person is on a dating web site. You have to do what is best for you and don't buy into this everybody cheats. The only reason a person cheats is because they are bore at home. I being this up is going to make you homeless don't say nothing until you have some where to go. Now as for being on here I don't see any thing wrong us the other person is using this site to look for somebody. But keep this in mind. If you don't say something there is going to be problems which will end up in fighting and end up with you out on the streets. It maybe be better to ask to stay with this person until you can get a place to stay, because you will be kick to the curb when the new person comes in and it maybe sooner than you think. This other person already let you know it was over by letting you find out about the web sites, just to wreak to come to you face to face. Don't ever think you found it on your own.


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Jose_Rojas
Posted

I would start looking for a place to live ASAP. That is something that no one should have to put up with. If that person wants an open relationship, or is not happy with the relationship, they should say something. It seams they are trying to say something by not covering up the trails and leaving an open mine field for your friend to stumble across. But that is not the way to go about it. I believe that when your friend has all their ducks in a row and says saianara, this person will try and say that it was all your friends fault. Tell your friend not to fall for it. A zebra never changes it's stripes. You're friend should pack up and go. Right now.


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Posted

jose, thats all very well saying that, but the person involved needs to think this through.
getting a place to stay can take time and money, which he or she might not have.
it may all take time, and should be thought through.
it can be a testing time for the two of them.


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

allan is right if he or she do have the money, and friends are that quick toopen their doors the person needs to talk it out and set something up so they have a roof over the person head


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Jean-Yves_Poirier
Posted

Wow. That's a tough one. A good friend of mind went through this sort of heartbreak recently. The fellow he had lived with for eight years was found to have been dating another guy for the last two years. Neither of the guys new about each other. My dear friend had been suppicious that something was going on. I chose to tell him what I had found out. He was grateful to finally know the truth. He did confront his partner about it and had a hard time with this because he really loved the guy. Losing trust in any relationship is hard. My friend has his own place to live so was not worried about having no where to go. Your friend does not. Be there for him/her, take them into your home if you can or set them up with another place. The truth does hurt, but living a false relationship has its tolls as well.


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Posted

You have all shared some good and thought proking answers. I just had a question? How did your friends partner find time to look for friends online? Was she being left out of your friends life? Do they live together? Is your friend busy with being online a lot or talking to friends on the phone a lot? Maybe your friend should check her priorities and confront her partner! Maybe it's time your friend moves on when she can if she doesn't like the situation. Blessings to your friend. Let us know what happened!


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Tonia_Docter
Posted

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. There has been a lot going on for these two and the one is having a hard time seeing which end is up at the moment. She did try talking to her partner about it and found that it was not for dating purposes but to increase a social networking circle. My friend has been struggling with a few MAJOR health issues and instead of turning to her partner she turns to her friends or inward...she doesn't want her partner to know how scared she is about the impending cancer results or how much physical pain she has been pushing through. She is also pretty upset that her partner went behind her back to her therapist and is facing a firing squad when she goes in to a place where she is supposed to be able to have complete trust in her therapist it has been shattered.

Through ALL of this neither one of them is more to blame than the other one...they both need and deserve prayers of healing and restoration. These are two wonderful, beautiful, courageous and strong children of God who need to be able to crawl up into His lap and be held in His arms to feel the warmth of His Everlasting Love.


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Posted

All sin is equal. The preachers have picked out homosexuals and preached against us. Being obese is a sin. Being lazy is a sin. Sex out of marriage is a sin. And the list goes on. I try to follow the Bible the best I can. I try to lead a good of a life as possible, just like so many others. I (we) have just as a good of a chance at getting to heaven as all of the other sinners do. When I excepted Jesus as my savior, I really had problems until a straight friend told me, what I just wrote. I hope this helps someone else that is struggling.


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

I must say you are one hell of a friend and as long as your prays are going up there is hope for you friends


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