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Gene_Lewis

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY TO - Gay Guys! <3

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Gene_Lewis
Posted

THIS MAY BE A LITTLE SAD BUT NEED TO BE SAID!!!

A friend of mine set me up on a blind bat that lastest less than 30 sec. The guy took one look at me "damn you're fat ass hell" and walk right out.

Now, I've been a big bitch all my life and thought I was able to handle all the names all these years, but I felt like I was back in school listen to the kids saying "fatty, fatty, two by four can't get through the kitchen door". Don't know why this hurt, but it did. Hell I would make all the fat jokes before anyone else and always felt I had a tough skin, but yeah, at that moment it hit me hard..

What I think I'm trying to say is think long and hard before you say mean things. Even a bitch as tough as me have feelings. We are already hated and made fun of lets try hard not to keep it going inside our walls. It's not just me talking about the weight it's about the age thing and the color thing. I know we all have a type that we like but try to think of a nice way to let a person know that you're not interested. Try to think how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.




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Carl-david_Stottor
Posted

You know babe, I put it down to lack of intelligence, even in our own unforgiving, judgemental kind, I'm a queen, I'm a bitch, that is what my own so called kind made me be, protective and understanding, was a twink, was skinny, a dumb blonde,became a fat old queen and you know something, I'm proud of that! I would rather have been a has been, than a no been, if only people did put the shoe on the other foot, but they do not....Vanity, all is vanity, but reality is a more truthful place, for those of us that are truly beautiful....


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

you're right carl. it is a vanity thing, hell i never been a small in my life and have always love my size even if i am over the weight limit of what gays find hot. the one thing i don't get is why i let that hurt me. hell he's not the first and he won't be the last. hell i heard it all from you have a cute face and would be so much handsome if you lost a few pounds to lock the fridge Gene's coming. Hell I know I have low self-esteem, that why my picture is of Leena Horne and not me, I come to live with it, but this just cut me like a knife


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Posted

Gene,
I don't make a lot of input to the group but your comment got my attention such that I thought I'd write a few lines of support.
Don't be so down about this, no one is perfect, especially the pig who's comment was so uncaring. People are made of all sorts of qualities and I'm sure you have some great ones. Think about that.
If anyone else goes on a blind date, and be careful if you do, and you can see it isn't what you want, think at least someone has turned out to bother to come and see you. Say at the start something like " I doubt we will be compatible but that you are flattered that you weren't stood up, have a drink together, shake hands and then depart. Thats the least you can do, afterall you entered into this arrangement aswell.
Don't hurt people deliberately, it's not the way!
Terry


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

thax terence. i do have a lot of good things about me. hell my friends will tell you that i'm nicety(nice and nasty). not to pat myself on the back(which i hate to do) but i have a heart as big as me and i care for my friends and love ones to the point of death and most of the times thing like this don't bother me, but this time it did. hell least he come to my apartment to pick me up so i didn't have to worry about transportion home


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

Don't let it bother you I for one It when a little heavy but it not any thing smart for him to say that you have a lot more to offer. That is like these straight guys have to have a fox they only worry about what people might of them.I think they are insecure. Your better off with a fat guy like me


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

dont let guys like that get to you. there are alot more fish out in the ocean babe


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

He still got me be he dose not like me but that won't stop me


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

Really thanx for your help and all, but it's not really that easy to get over it. It's the sting that hurts the most. I know that I'm a good person(well that's what people say) and to let that hit me so hard. I thought I was strong and being fat, plus-size or whatever you want to call it you would think something like that what fuck with you any more, but it did. Like I said I have been fat all my life and at 42 you would think words(and in most cases) don't mean a thing to me. I tell people that you can say whatever you want about me as long as you don't put your hands on me. I also say the talk about Jesus and he still didn't get off the cross. I'm trying to understand why it bother me. I think because I was trying to step out of my comfort zone and try this dating thing. Hell when it's a hit and run you know where you stand and where it's going, but this, this is something new. And I think for me I'm better off doing my old thing. I just wish that people could see the real me. the little kid with at that many friends who's getting older and tried of being alone. The person with so much love inside that would ingulf the world. The person that is there always willing to listen and with a warm and funny out look on things. But that's not what the world see. They see the super size cow. the elephant


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

Gene I know it hurts but don't let get you down because your better than that ass hole I the fact that you can open up with us shows that to you. It is not your size that what I care about it is your heart


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

Well it's easy to open up here because y'all can hear the pain in my voice or see the tears and hopefully if I talk about this maybe someone out there who feels like me will be able to deal to know that there is someone who understands and maybe stop someone from doing these type of things because they don't know or knew how we feel


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

Gene I am not skinny and I get to these things I am 5' 10 " and 200 # now I was 225 for a long while and I am eating 1 Meal a day. The fact that I have take care my has caused me to lose 25 # It is not easy so I have an Idea where you are coming from. I admit I have not this all my life it is not easy no matter what.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Gene I am so sorry that you now have had to bad dates...As for the last one well he is just a butt hole..I know in my heart that you are a person that is not going let this get you down.. I just wish the dumb ass would have stay around long enough for you to go off on him...I would have love to see that..People who say such things are nothing but dumb... Be brave don't cry over some one words..Like you said you heard it all...Gene you are a good person...


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Posted

Gene,I agree completely with Michael. Please don't keep kicking yourself. Everyone agrees. Don't let this little shit take a piece of you that you know he's not entitled to.
I aren't personally, an overwieght person myself, but I have to be careful, nevertheless he was just outrageous. Forget it and him or else he;s won something from you by sheer, f...ing, pigging, bastard rudeness. No, don't take it to heart anymore. Have a good wash around the gob with best Whisky then spit the pig out straight down the sink (Oh! and don't continue with the rest of the bottle, that's no good either)!!!!
Have a laugh again, you are allowed.
Terry


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

You have a good point Terence But don't use whiskey Use Vodka It better for you and taste better. That Bastard is not worth it. He is not good enough to wipe your boots off
This hole crew is here for you not that ass hole. Chin up have a laugh party.


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

Thax, but this old bitch don't drink. i think the thing is i didn't show him that it hurt me but all of us fat guys(male or female) are look at as some kind of sideshow freak. we work hard to put on a brave face but we cry alone because most of us know our worth but for the world to just see the shell. I will get over this, but will always remember and still feel because i'm not ther right weight will never find that one person.


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

I finely Get see you and you are Handsome. This not because what happened either.I do like you and you look good. I still would love to meet you some day. If every thing goes good at hospital and I can get some one to be with my wife. I will come to St Lewis to see you .Do you have any family in Pa.


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Carl-david_Stottor
Posted

Gene, sorry I never got back, it was only the other day that I was described as an old queen and a bitch for my honesty...which hurt....I used to be a model, I used to be a dancer, but never learnt any self esteem, I am proud of whom I am as a person and you should be too, my colour and my sexuality mean nothing to me, nor does my appearence, I am like you, a person and that is all that counts, be well my dear friend, because we are worth much more than scathing comments, which do hurt, especially from our own so called, judgemental kind...you are beautiful, never forget that and never let anyone tell you anything less...LOL XX


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

thank you. looking at your pic i can see you being a model. and i love it when i'm call a bitch. i worked hard for that title and being old, hell thank god i lived this long.


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Carl-david_Stottor
Posted

Am still sensetive, still lack lack confidence, just hate it when our own kind judge us, am not really a bitch hun, just truthfull, not many people can handle that, its not an ideal world, I wish....LOL XX


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

Oh, no hun. I am not calling you a bitch. I don't know you well enough to do that. Me, I am. And you are so right it too hate that we are so juding. There are so many people on f/b that want to befriend me but looking at their pictures I know I wouldn't be the type of person they would really want to know. Just because they are hot. And that goes for you too. I could never befriend you because of the fact I feel out of your league(know it's misspell). I'm shock you would even take the time to talk to me


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

don't do that Gene I like you and always will. I care about you and want you to know that is the way I feel. You should know by now so that is all I am saying


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Carl-david_Stottor
Posted

That was me calling myself one Gene, I don't know about you, but I use that as a mask, a self defence mechanism, I learnt a long time ago, never to judge a person by what you see, I was a model during the punk and new-age romantic era, there was more make-up than me, a jealous partner ended my career when he slashed my face open out of jealousy, he felt out of my league, ironically, I was the one that felt ugly, had low self esteem.
I make a very good friend Gene and I would be the one to feel honoured if we became friends....it is sad sometimes, that the price of sensitivity and care, compassion, comes with the price of pain attatched....at the end of the day babe, it's what you think about yourself that matter's, not what others do, be kind to yourself and grow beautifully LOL XXX


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