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Married Gay Men. - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

Hi! I am very interested in the stories of men who, believing themselves to be straight and having married women and had children and perhaps grandchildren, decide later on that they are bi-sexual or gay, and want sex, and possibly a relationship with a man or men. Their situation is complicated because they do not want to divorce their wives or disrupt their family life. Yet they are incomplete without a male sex partner[s] or relationship. Do they deny their homosexuality? Do they have affairs with men? Do they in secret have random sex with men? Do they come out to their wives and children? .Must they leave their spouse and family? How do married gay men handle this situation?


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Posted

I Really dunno, maybe it's beacuse in their early youth being Gay was Frowned upon that the whole family suffered, or something like that. Today the world is more Liberal and Acceptable, so maybe these guy's are reliving their youth in a more Liberal World. I know quite a few Married men on other site's who are more happier 2 be talking 2 Gay's on the site. And they usually say they were living a lie just 2 please their famlie's. So i really dont know as breaking up a family can be very hard, but i have talked 2 a couple of Guy's whose family were very supportive of them when they came out.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Russ do you still have kids at home????


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Posted

No - my kids are grown up.


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

I am married and I never was with a woman until I was 50 years old and she knew I was Bisexual when we met. I don't know if they are honest with other I wouldn't happen


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Posted

Russ they sneak off to woods where men go cruising for sex and find 14/15 yo's have their sex then usually fuck off I guess cos they are embarrassed, and never bother about how the other guy feels. I know it has happened to me. I once met an old guy who had been with me and when he saw me he went so white I thought he was gonna die!! He had to of been married cos he was with his grandson at a school concert and his grandson was in my class! I never said anything as I never wanted people to know I was gay and I went with older men. Maybe not being out, even at 16, is like hiding feeling gay when you are married?


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

His wife might already know because when I got married my wife excepted what I was and din't try to change me.. I had a gay lover till I moved to Texas. .With any kind of luck I will find another


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Posted

ok, russ try this one,gay since 14, up until the age of 29 enjoying a gay lifestyle,although still in the closet, met a young woman of 19 in a glasgow gay bar[court bar] decide to spend some time together,have sex,then marriage,then two children,after some 19 yrs,she dumps me and the children,and runs of with an older and married man,who like her is an alcholic,so they can be happily pissed together? oh i forgot she left me with a 100k of debt,since then i have gone bankrupt,and been inform by the debtors that she is now responsible for all the debts. ha ha ha f********* serves her right


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Kevin she might know and she might not...Do you still want to be married but have guys on the side...If so then I would say that you are cheating on her and thats not right


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Also have you try to talk to one of the kids first..Find out how they feel about the subject without telling them yet...Tell them if they ask you know a friend going through it....


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Posted

What I want is both - not only to preserve my marriage and not destroy my family, but also to have a male lover - not just sex on the side. I believe that with care and perhaps counseling my wife, children, and I can make this happen.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

It can happen if all agree too it but remember not to hurt the ones you love also...


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Posted

Thanks to all who have responded - some with theory or arguing the stay vs. leave question - some with personal stories. The latter is what I am after - the actual experiences of men who are married and have families when they decide that they want sex with men, or a relationship with a man.


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

I am happily married and love my gay life also it is nice the wife ac. in and every goes along fine I live my gay life and am married.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Yes you two have it because your wife's aggree but what about the women that are out there everyday with there hubby and 18 or 20 years later there hubby comes out too them..Then it ends in divorce...What would you say to them??


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

I would not have gotten married if she did not except me for what I was. That is the problem secrets hurt every one If you learn to be open it would help most of the time I admit it can hurt at times but if they love each other though it


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

I have seen it happen to many times and it always ends bad...


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

Mine worked because she knew and excepted what I was. I know there one out there that say yes and think I when I that ring I will change them. but you got to g ether or it won't


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Jules_Parker
Posted

Hi! the original question men who are married with children, decide later on that they are gay, and want sex, and possibly a relationship with a man. they do not want to divorce their wives or disrupt their family life. Yet they are incomplete without a male sex partner[s] or relationship. when I was young it was of an age were if you got a girl pregnant you had to do the right thing and that was get married.... Do they deny their homosexuality? to every one but themselves.... Do they come out to their wives and children? only if found out or in my case black mailed...... Must they leave their spouse and family? depends if the family guessed you are gay but up till then you have not told them you are... How do married gay men handle this situation? normally say nothing have there affairs unless it all comes out


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Jules_Parker
Posted

I'm now happy living with my male partner and get on well with my family - jules


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

I still say they should have told the girl in the first place I might surprise you how well they listen if no try to keep secrets. I know that I felt better letting it in the open but to each his own I just a dummy from the hils on Pa.


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Andrew_Sykes
Posted

I believe for some they had gay sex before they were married - it happens when you are younger because you experiment with both sexes - not saying everyone does but i did before i realised i was gay but that was a time when it was frowned upon and you had to hide it - i lived in a very small place where everyone knew everyone else so finding someone who was gay or experimenting has i was was difficult - not sure if it is easier in the USA because there seems more americans here than anywhere else though i know they are larger than the UK. Once they have finished experimenting they either find they are not gay - or are forced due to parent pressure to marry and have children - then later on in live re-discover the gay aspect of their life again - its a moral question do they tell or do they not - it is a very hard question to answer because each case is different and unique to that situation and that person - should they tell - maybe not but you then run the risk if you pick up a disease passing it onto the wife because she will become suspicious if you suddenly wanted to start wearing a condom - there is also the thrill of finding a younger person and having an affair or sex - with either sex male or female - if they are honest and are 100% sure they are gay they should tell the wife - sometimes they come to an arrangement and stay together for the kids sake but life separate lives - for some it works for others it won't - sneaking around is not the answer and i am an honest person so i see an honest answer from the person - but that is me - others will either continue with the normal life but have gay sex others will break up giving an excuse that has nothing to do with their sex lives - some people hit the wall at a certain age and look for adventure elsewhere and want to divorce - that is happening a lot more and not just those having gay feelings but society in general. There is no easy answer.


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

As you said in a small town it is hard to face it I was going with my friend since we were in high school . I kept hearing to be careful that he is gay. I ask what the problem was with that. I was told I was crazy to risk I tould them it was none of their business.


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PETER_TWOWAY
Posted


I LOVE MY WIFE AND WOULD NEVER LEAVE HER

I LIKE GUYS TOO AND TRY TO GET A MEET WHERE WE CAN BOTH HAVE FUN AND GO ON WITH OUR LIVES

STILL LOOKING


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

No one will blame you for that . I fill if it is right with you family that all that matters
Too many people try run our live or lives for us.


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