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Gene_Lewis

HELP ME MAKE UP MY MIND - Gay Guys! <3

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Gene_Lewis
Posted

me and my ex are friends (or so i thought) until i told him that i had a date (not really a date a dude i was going to slam) andd he said (the ex) that he really need to talk and wanted to know if he could come over and i (being one of those few moments of being nice lol) said he could and i will help he work on whatever he going throught. well i called old dude and told him that something came up and we would have to set something up for a later date. i waited and waited until now being 8:30cst and still no call no show from the ex. and he call me about 6-6:30cst. i did call his house and was told he went out with someone. now my thing is the way i'm feeling at this point is to kick him to the side because he lied and had me thinking important was happening in his life that he need me, but now thinking he did all this because he knew i would drop things for him and be there for him and for him to do this i don't know. i want to try something new for me and have an ex as a friend where as i usually just fuck them and leave them. he was me first so call long team relationship it last 5 years but we broke up due to the fact that he lost his job and didn't try and isn't trying to find another one he turned into one of those people that wants someone to take care of him and that's not me. on so you kinow i giave him two months to look for a job meaning i gave him time to get himself together and get his head back into the game, but he chose not to do anything but sit up in my house watch tv sleep and eat all day long while i took care of everything. and when i said look for a job i meant just that. not get a job, but put forth the effort of looking. so here is the help me part do i stop trying to be his friend because he made me miss out what could have been a really good fuck, and this old bitch needs a straching.


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Richard_Edwards
Posted

Friendship is a two way street. Ask yourself, has he been there for you in the same way you have been there for him?


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

he is a pretty good guy, but i think because i call it off he still wants a piece of my honeypie and knows that's not happening. saying im all that, but i do believe he still have feelings and i have moved on


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

Gene I think that by the sounds of it he like the gravy train. I bet you did most of the work around the house. You got a hard question to is it all worth it.


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

i did what a wife does when a husband works and i didn't mind. when he stop he would wash the dishes and clean the kitchen and i would cook, due to the fact he couldnt boil water without burning the pot and when he comes over that is our deal, he cleans the kitech i cook, but he is a mommas boy


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

That sounds like he has a problem without mommy to nurse him. I don't want to tell you what to do but It were me I would send him on his way


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

ok one y'll ain't hearing me this has nothing with my ex except if i should end our friendship due to the fact he played me, nothing more or less. take the time and really read what i said before you comment. dennis you are talking like he's still my man and we are dating. i don't care what his mommy issuses are that part has nothing to do with me. i move on from us being lover to being just friends, in my world that is all he is. i can't speak for what's going on in his head. that is on him not me


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

I won't argue. It look like you being used but I apologetic stay out of it forgive me.


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

how am i being use if he's just a friend who lives with his mother? please don't take this the wrong way, but what are you reading because you seem to be why off base from what im asking help with.


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

I said I was sorry and don't want impress you otherwise be happy SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

thats fine but learn to read everything before running off at the mouth


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

That is ok I think before I speak . I do like you so take care


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Posted

Dump the ex and get on with your life.


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

i have move on with my life and i'm thinking the same way, but he's a pretty cool friend but i think i'm holding i'm in some way coming him from moving on and working through us not being a us. me like i state am doing the stella thing(for those who don't know whatt that mean, and figure all of y'll there a book out there call "how stella got her groove back)


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Posted

What matters is your needs - your need for intimacy, for sex, for a relationship. You can stay a friend with your ex, but in your description it sounds like he wants more than that. But what is troublesome is his lack of follow through - like he was trying to keep you from having sex with the guy you were to be with. He has no right at all to intrude in that way. Maybe you need to sit him down and work out the rules for your future relationship, but at the same time make clear that you and he are exs and that you plan on moving on in your sexual relationship and activities.


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

so russ you thiink you can be friends with an ex. i never keep any one around long enough to find out. but after our break up . i have moved on with my life and seeing other people, but at times i think he hasn't or won't. this is the first time i told him something like this and for him to do what he did makes me wonder if being friends is the right thing to do


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Gene I think the answer would be keep him as a friend but if you have a date and he calls you don't tell him you have a date just tell him that you are busy and you all can talk at a different time...You can be friends just don't let in get between you and your sex life..


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

ok, you and russ saved a friendship. i going to do that. my first thought was to kick him out of my life, and he is a good guy. like i told you in the message this is something new for me


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Go for the New and just keep him as a friend....I would not let anything come between me and having sex....I will even go as far to say that it has happen to me when I was a young guy and I did the same thing just to find out that he was just playing me...All along he had plans to go out instead of meeting me to talk about his problem which he never had..That guy I kick to the curb but that was me when I was younger...


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Posted

Sounds like a lot of people agree with me - let your ex be a friend, but develop relationships and sex with other men as a priority.


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

If you do like Russ says you could be free if you have a new lover and your friend walks in on you he wont get upset will he


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Gene_Lewis
Posted

to everyone talking to me about this thanks. i think i should also tell you that i have never been a relationship or been on a date in my life. i mean never, i think i told y'll before, i'm the one night only person. and dealing with my ex or even having a lover for more than 3 months is totally new. and like i said i was with my ex for 5 years, not faithfully, but was there. it was hard because i had to learn how to share and open up. now that we are done this new part is hard


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Its all going too be hard..Gay life is not easy,If it was then everyone would be out and proud..Keep doing what you need to do..


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Dennis_Mix
Posted

we will always be to talk to if you need and thing. You are a good person Gene


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Posted

You have had good gay sex - but a relationship with a man includes intimacy, support, and ongoing love. I have some friends - two gay men - who regularly have sex with other men - together and separate - but have been together for over 14 years.


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