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Inexperienced guy - new situation, thoughts would be helpful - Gay Guys! <3

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Hey Guys, Just wanted to say much thanks to Jay Jay, Todd Hebert, Jed Morton and Dean John Adams for you kind, straight forwards comments and advice with regards to my situation! You all have been a-lot of help with this situation as well as general life moral/structure. Many great points made and many taken in to consideration. Thanks again Guys Sincerely,


Well i wouldn't put all doubt into a situation like this. I mean you guys haven't really made it official or anything you're just seeing eachother and doing dates and such. Next to that it's a little complicated on both your ends if neither of you aren't really out yet. If he isn't all that out I especially wouldn't worry about him flirting around with other boys but again it would still be okay even still cuz you're not an item with him fully yet. Do things to grab his attention, make him realize you're there but give him the space he needs to breath before leaping on him. Jus take a deap breath and things should keep playing out if you keep going at the pace your doing. trust me THAT is honestly nice that it was on the 5th time you guys saw eachother is when you finally kissed. don't find guys like those andrew.

Good luck and have a nice night


Jay Jay


1.&gt He's a guy, and guys are (stereo)typically known for not being incredibly communicative of our feelings.
2.&gt He's a guy, and it sounds like you're probably meeting in the middle and fooling around.. thus satisfying the "what guys want" element of things.. sex.
3.&gt He's a guy, and might only be interested in the physical/sexual aspect of a relationship (looking for a "fuckbuddy" and nothing beyond that. (even if he's said he's looking for more.)

You might need more out of a relationship than you're going to get with him. You might also need more out of a relationship than will ever be possible if you never come out of the closet... and you said neither of you is out, and that neither of you ever plans on being out.

I've found that most gay guys seem JUST to want sex and nothing more.. it's difficult to find guys who are interested in more.. or even interested in being friends without having sex.

If you want to talk about feelings, talk with him about it when you're together.. and while you're doing something else. Don't sit him down & say "I want to talk about our feelings and our relationship.".. nothing will cause a guy to tune-out faster than that. Do something physical.. go bowling, take a walk, or a bike-ride, do some gardening.. and talk to him WHILE he is busy doing these things. Guys have this habit of talking about whatever you ask them about while they are doing something that keeps their mind distracted.


I wouldn't worry that he doesn't liket to communicate by texting or on the computer. Some people just aren't comfortable with that. Give this some time. It sounds like you're moving in a nice direction, so just keep plugging away at it, easily, not too pushy, be yourself with him, give him the freedom to be himself. Good luck to you.

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