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WHERE TO TURN - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

I have a problem but I don't where to turn to talk about it. And the other thing is I don't want to bother anyone with my problems. I was taught that you deal with whatever it is on your own.i The problem is that after 30 years way in a state hospital after being rape by the man that planet her seed and married my mother. I too was touch by this man and our mother know, but turn the other cheek. Any she been sick for a while and today she pass away, what they told me it was in her sleep. Now I don't have anyone left and I'm hurting and need to let it out but don't know where to turn. Sorry I brought this to the table but I don't know if I should tell my friends or just keep it inside. Could someone here tell me what the right thing to do


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Ronnie_Marshall
Posted

can we talk about it


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

go to one of your friends and say: hey i need to get something off of my chest, can we talk about a problem that i have? usually they will listen to you
\or we can talk about it here sweety.


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Posted

u can say what u want on here....
just typing out your feelings on here may help you ...???


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Posted

Mark, I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse within my own family. It sounds like you are actually dealing with quite a few mixed feelings. It's ok to feel what you are Mark. It's safe to talk here!


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Dave_Mack
Posted

Mark, just open up and say what you are feeling. We are here to listen and try to help. So many here have had siffereing experiences and togather we can help you sift through all the things you are feeling.
Also let me offer my condolences on your mom's passing. I lost mine 3 years ago Monday and it still hurts. I don't know if or where you are spirtuality but I believe she is with the Almighty for an eternity of peace and joy.


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Posted

Thanks, even though part of me wants to talk about the other part says that I'm wasting other people's time and will have to deal with it on my own. Hell that's the only way I know. There's bigger thing going on without me adding my shit to the pile. The other thing is Dave I would say thanks, but after what she put my sister and me through all for the love of some man that did the things he did, all I really feel is thank god for drunk drivers(that maybe wrong but hell that is how I feel). About five or six years after we had to lock away my sister those people got killed. The driver was ok and I am and was happy for that. I went to live with my grandmama and big papa, and that was one hell of a ride.
Two people who tried to be both and dealing with a sister who lost her mind and retreated so far into herself that locking her away was the only way. She was 17 and I was 14. One thing that gets me is how come we both had this shit happening to us and I'm here and she went there. About a year ago my sister started getting sicker and sister and today at about 9:46am she died. grandmama and big papa are gone and now her. So very sorry I' m talking too much about this. I haven't cried yet and I don't know when that will come I got a lot of things to do in the next couple of days and wil have to do it all by myself. Tomrrow I have to go and sign some papers and get her things, don't know what I'm going to do with that stuff and being broke she's going to a potter fields, not asking for any thing from anyone, just wanted to know how do I share all this with my friends, none of them know too much about my pass and even my childhood friends only know that I live with my grandparents because my mother and father died and that is all, this is the only place that knows because I think it's because I will never see any of y'll face to faces and that makes is some what easier. But when the water works do come, if I let them, I would love to have a shoulder to lean.


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Daniel_Markov
Posted

hi Mark.
First I want to express my condolences-. Loss of the only member of your family is certainly not easy.I wish I could say something to reduce your pain now but I can not.here would say that she did hers suffering here and now she is in a better place-in what I believe.
second: dont worry about wasting other people's time because if you can't addres us when your feel like hell why bother when you're happy.
taking into consideration that you have lost a loved one and you feel sad and you r vulnerable more than usual I would tell you to wait several days before the decision whether to tell your story to someone of your friends or not.
I do not know your friends and do not know how they will react but that is not important.the important is how you will react when you know that they know end that there's no going back.
I believe there is a reason why you have kept this as a secret for over 30years
my advice is take some time. stabilize your feelings, then bring the decision
hope you will feel better soon



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Peter_John_O'Reilly
Posted

Sorry to hear of your loss, I know what it can do to people, sometimes it may help if you talk about things with a stranger who has some experience but it will take time to sort. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the shock and stress that a major loss brings, as for the long term problems the best way is to try and deal with them over a long period. The method i have for the loss I had (which was last October when my mother died) was to build on what abilities i have. Plus the support of family and friends (such as the St John Ambulance) along with occasionally having a laugh. I know this may not work for you but you will eventually find your own way of dealing with everything.


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Janian_Nenanivik
Posted

nobody can deal with every thing on their own . sometimes you nedd others


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

so true Janian


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Posted

But doesn;t that make you somewhat weak


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

not at all, just makes you human


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Posted

Yeah you may be right but I was raise that you keep thing to yourself, it's not a man woman thing It was just a sign of streght and for me I still feel that way


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

yea my mom feels the same way, that is why she would like to see me die. i can not go with the old ways. i have to be me and i will not allow any one to tell me how to feel or what not to say. it is up to you Mark. but i say this, if you need help dont be afraid to ask for help cause if you dont speak up, you might not live to see another day if some thing might happen to you like a heart attack or even worse, a heated stroke


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Posted

Homer you may again be right, but thing like heart attack or heat stroke is diffent. I'm talking more about problems like me telling y'll about my sister, and my family. That stuff made me feel so very weak to tell those thing to anyone. I was to work it out on my own and I fail, big. I know there are places to go, drs to see but my ole black southern part won't let me. See I come from an old southern family and like a lot of us comes from a long line of slaves and enduring all that we are taught to keep our heads down and mouth shut


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

Mark, dont let it make you feel weak. make it feel like you have control over it so that you portray your self as a person who can handle any thing and every thing that is thrown your way. i know you can do that. be strong and face it head to head


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

Mark what i am triing to say is this, we are here when you need us. we are here when you feel weak so we can put you on our shoulders so we can carry you through the hard ships. does that make any since sweety?


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Posted

I'm going to tried but I don't know how to share that much because like I said my histroy tells something differently. That is why rape, abuse, and children being put into things like I and my sister where in are never reported. See those things and being gay don't happen in the black community. We are taught to shut our eyes and turn our heads. I think you for being here when and if I need help


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

yea but you forget that i was there at one time. i did not report the rape that was done to me


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Posted

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! You don't and won't believe how easy you are making this for me. I really do mean it THANK YOU-THANK YOU-THANK YOU. It's been easy for me and now I'm dealing and don't feel that much helpless. THANK YOU. And I'm sorry for what happen to you. If you don't mind me asking how did you deal with it


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i turn to drugs and then i sold my ass to make the pain go away. believe me, it dont go away


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Posted

me too and like you didnt work just made me a little cold


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i am clean now but it is hard to keep a relationship cause of the past


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Posted

Hey mark,

How are you doing? It seems as tho you have been very well supported here and have allowed yourself to open up quite a bit. Lots of folks on here can relate to much of what you have been through. That's what this room is about. Sharing, caring and support. You've done very well here. Take care.


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