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Ryan_Siriwardene

Uh oh Its happening all over again! - Gay Guys! <3

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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

Hey All I think I am falling for my friend again. The first time I used to think about him a lot, we talked alot online and still do, share pictures (CLEAN ONES ) and I couldnt get him out of my head. We helped each other as both being single and not able to find that special guy, we knew what each was going through. I told him the first time how I felt after when I visited him twice, I couldnt take the pain of going another day not telling him. He knocked me back, I got bitter as naturally do when somebody turns you down. I forced myself to picture him unattractive by telling myself I am better looking than him anyway. Cut the long story short.... Ever since I came back from my work placement overseas recently, we have been talking as usual and I am started to fall for him again. This time I dont feel this ache, afraid to tell him how I feel. I am trying to picture him as my brother but I just giggle when my mind starts thinking about him without a shirt on and I just told two days ago, 'You mean alot to me even though we are friends.'

Two years ago I could not do this without hesitating.

Yes we are both single and still unlucky in love. Being in another state, I have tried to find guys nearer to me but I dont get feel that connection or its all physical and boring. I know my friend thinks of me as a sweet guy but I know he is not physically attracted to me, which is a shame!

Should I do something or just keep being grateful he is in my life?


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Kent_Gilbert
Posted

your thoughts determine your frequency,and your feelings tell you immediately what frequency you are on. when you feel bad, you are on the frequency of drawing more bad things. when you feel good, you are powerfully attracting more good things to you....


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Richard_Gray_55629
Posted

GIVE HIM ONE.


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

ryan, i think you need to tell him how you feel babe


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Posted

if he knocked you back once before,hes not interested in you sexually or for a relationship...if you want tell him,,but u will only be hurt again..


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Posted

Andrew F is most definitely correct!! If I were you, I would cut my losses, and get out now!! And afterwards, never, ever look back under any and all circunstances!!


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Kathy_Griffin
Posted

Wow, people write way too much on these things. Ha.
What Maggie Would Say- "Christ Kathy, is this an essay?!"

Haha!


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Posted

well you've already let him know once how you felt...& he turned you down...unfortunately...so it's up to you whether you want to tell him again...because i'm sure you already know what to expect if he still isn't interested in a relationship...but don't give up...your special man is out there...but if you want to go for it...well i'll be rooting for you Ryan...go get him tiger...lol...i wish you luck..


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Posted

My opinion, go by how l like to do things: "l rather regret telling him, that regret not telling him." it's a basis of moving on. You can'y wander around 'what could have been' lt becomes an unsavvy barnicle attached to your ass that can take a while to get over with..
Cliches being cliches, what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger. You confess, possibly shot-down, you fall, you cry, you get back up, slap yourself silly, close that door for good and find a new one.


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

Ryan, maybe its time that you went to a place where gays hang out and meet new friends. maybe you will find some one for you.


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

thanks all. That was random what Kathy Griffins wrote, ha ha.

I am pretty good place right now, well I think anyway.

I actually do not mind being his friend. He knows how I feel and I dont need to run away from it. I think I was hoping for a relationship but now I am in a place where i just want to hang and not to have to worry about that i am still single and never been in a relationship.

Homer - I cant wait until I finish uni at the end of the year. My close guy friends have been telling me lets go clubbing. I think yes but lets get uni wrapped up first. I am almost there.

I agree with Johnny and Dean - I know he is out there somewhere, I just need to stop looking for him intensely and continue being fascinated by the people I meet. This is a hard process but I will get there!

I hope I am not confusing anyone with my flip flopping behaviour.


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Richard_Edwards
Posted

@Ryan Enjoy the friendship and learn to accept it for what it is, as difficult as it is to do. I'm in a similar situation, but a bit more complicated. We used to date, lost contact, renewed contact but as friends only. He knows I want more, but I accept his friendship for what it is. He was there when I went into the hospital, took me to his place for a few days when I got out, cooked for me, talked with me. He then came to my place to help me organize, giving up some of his weekend time for me. He says I'm like family to him and he wants to keep it that way.


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

@richard I believe we have similar situation as he thinks of me as a close friend.

I actually do not mind it now I do not feel so desperate these days for a relationship.

Tell you something weird, when I was wanting desperately to be his boyfriend I found it hard to picture him sexually but now it comes so easily. I just laugh and put me to sleep at night.

Go figure! :P

Can I ask how you feel about that like being a brother to him? I hope you are not feeling over pain over it!


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Posted

I think gayness for a lot of guys is more theoretical, more a fantasy experience, than a matter of real-life, real-time romances with other guys. Some men will have chatroom "romances" with you but find excuses if you invite them for a meeting. Guys will go to gay cruising places with a photo in their heads of exactly who they want to meet, and will find reasons to reject nice-looking men who aren't exactly the guy in the photo. They seem to enjoy cruising, flirting, teasing, more than really getting down. Or they'll go to a gay place with a friend or friends (non-sexual), and the fact that they're there with friends can be a pretext for turning down any possibility of a real romance happening. They're sexual tourists, not participants.

Of course if that's what a person wants, there's nothing wrong with that kind of life. Stick with it, go for it. But if one is frustrated with that and wants an in-the-flesh romance with another guy, I suggest "if you're not with the one you love (the fantasy man, the photo-in-the-head), love the one you're with". File the brain-photo away as a nice pinup and open yourself to the possibility of romance with any nice-looking guy, whether he's "your type" or not. You might just surprise yourself.


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Posted

i'm glad you're not giving up Ryan...i've kinda had somewhat of a similar experience with one of my best friends...we had a past attraction...flirted a little but never really made a move...i wanted to protect our friendship more than anything...few yrs later...aug of last year exactly...we're drunk & making out at the club...what's wrong with that you may ask...well by then he has a boyfriend...felt a little guilty because his bf is a nice guy...we're like ok it was the alcohol & probably because we never gave ourselves the opportunity...decided to bury it...then again in march of this year we made out again...i asked him if he still had feelings for me...he said it was complicated...honestly i said the same...but well took me a little bit of time to sort things out...but in the end i still chose to stay best friends...because it felt right for me...boy what a trip that was...


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

@jony Yeah definitely wont give up. I got this renew energy where for the first time I am not sure where life is taking me after I finish University.

That is good you chose to stay friends. That is what I am going to do with this guy. For all I know this could be me rebounding. I enjoy our chats anyway.

Thanks for your input, appreciate it!


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Richard_Edwards
Posted

I have had trouble connecting to this site for 2 days.

@ Ryan You wrote "Can I ask how you feel about that like being a brother to him? I hope you are not feeling pain over it!"

I am so glad and grateful that he is in my life since I know that I can call on him in my time of need. There is still some slight pain about his not being my boyfriend. but it' ok, I can deal with it and it doesn't interfere with our friendship.


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

@richard - No pain at all. No stress he is not my boyfriend just glad he is there but I am not reliant on him to make me happy, thank goodness for that.

I cant wait to hang out with him coz I can go without expecting anything from him, which will make the visit so much fun.

I know the last time I visited him I was so much pain coz I wanting more than a friendship.

Not saying I dont care anymore but I dont mind being his bro. As Dean John Adams said to me once, friends are so hard to come by, that is so true.


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

yes it is ryan


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

@homer - I dont get your last post!


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i was saying that friends are hard to come by these days my friend


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Ryan Like most have said good friends are hard to find and I would say that if you said it once and he said no then just be friends and be happy with that...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

MIKES BACK


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