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Rochelle_Ross

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Rochelle_Ross
Posted

To what that was lost....
What has my anger cost...
I want to wish away these demons....
I really hope....
But it tells me to keep fucking dreaming....
Im forever in this cell....
I know Im going to hell....
Cause of my insanity...
I want be good and healthy, but I cant be freed....
This shit will always be with me....
Im trapped in this fucked up state of mind....
My mind is so very unkind....
My mind is twisted....
Always lost....
For what am I to do, memories that will always over come what is good and true.


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agree nice.


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So very honest!! But with knowing who your are, you can change. Just takes determination, lots of praying, organization, and knowing you have the strength to overcome. Have you ever seen "A Beautiful Mind" by Russell Crowe? Watch it !!
It will help you understand yourself. As long as we realize we are not perfect beings and that all of us is seeking improvement, and that we can truly say we are sorry and are sincere about it , we have a chance to be happy because we can truly change our destiny if we really want to.


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Rochelle_Ross
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I guess it all takes trying and will, strength to overcome. I guess just hope the Gods or God is merciful. Well said, obstacles and shit just keep building, and choices we make help but somethings are out of my hands. Like we cant control the shit that flys into us. With what has happened, I can go either 2 ways let it take you or give it the finger and go on the righteous path. Its finding the will, thats the hard part. I have been told lately I should get some help lol ahh wow. Traumatic things can actually change the brain and release chemicals that causes psychosis, I dont know, dont know much about that. Guess I cant think straight, its hard to keep on track, I cant think straight so I keep fukn it up. I was contemplating not writing and just reading. I seem to write on here drunk lol

Thanks Scot and Satrer.


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I had a traumatic thing happen to me in Sept. 2007. I could have died. As I lay there and the trauma was happening Rochelle I started to think what was important to me and how I was going to be remembered. Strange what the mind goes through when your are being traumatized. Your whole life does change. I went through this maze in my mind for awhile. I floated around not feeling for quite a while afterward and then all this anger popped up and my body and mind could not heal for about 6 months, then I got back to working and lost my job 6 months later and then everything hit me harder because I lost my lively hood and then trusted the wrong people and my life went to hell for awhile. I thank my cousin for helping me realize that I was important and prayer too Rochelle. And while I was laying there praying because I had given up, I asked God if he is not ready for me to send me something; whether it be strength, some one special, and help to heal my mind or take me quickly because I could not do this anymore without his help and just let go of everything that was causing me pain. Then each day I got up I gave it my best and now my life has finally come full circle. Yes, keep trying, write down your thoughts that are confusing you and then answer that confusion on another day when your mind seems more clear. Give yourself some time but also tell yourself everyday. Things are going to get better and think before you act so you can make the right decisions. And don't waste your energy being angry, or sad, or worrying to much. It is counter productive. With you just opening up to us is a good start honey, so your are trying and that's all you can do and on a good day try a little harder, organize your thoughts about what you need to accomplish too as it will put your mind at ease and then start to rebuild your future and what you can do, not can't do. You already know what you can't do so think positive thoughts and believe. And as you see there are people who care too. That does make a difference!! Keep in touch with us and thank you for sharing your feelings.


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