Jump to content
Jony_Star

Let's Not Drag Other Into Our Misery... - Gay Guys! <3

Recommended Posts

Posted

ok...why is it that i try to start a nice discussion & someone just wants to find something to make it negative???...my previous discussion...all i wanted was to exchange pleasant times with other people...brighten the mood around here...and then comes Andrew...yes it is sad about his heart disease & what not...but i asked to keep the topic postive & not to start any arguments...and i thought i asked nicely...but yet he keeps on going...why is that people insist in dragging along their misery???...in what way does it help you???...i admit it's hard to view the goodness in life when you're depressed...but why get mad to those who still see the positivity in life???...ok you have a disease...but yet you continue to live...you're blessed with life...why not take advantage of it???...if your life was in its last days...would you honestly spend them in misery???...even for those who aren't sick but are still miserable...they carry chains of torment...why not free yourself???...allow other emotions to sink into your heart...& also the assumption that just because we're younger that we have no wisdom about life...again i'll repeat it....wisdom does not come with age...wisdom comes with the willingness to learn from anything...whether it's your own experiences or the experiences of others...we all have our good & bad days...all i am asking is for the people with negative attitudes to stop attacking people who seem to have no problem being positive...if something is wrong in your life...i suggest you do something about it instead of attacking our positivity...as for the cases of diseases...don't let the disease control you...you want to live so badly...then grab onto life...& all it's beauty...embrace it...i'm sure this all sounds really stupid...but well this is what i believe...& well that's all i have to say...


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

it why i been quiet


Share this post


Link to post
Andy_Walker
Posted

Satrer, I have tried to be quiet, but I seem to be continually attacked (and please do not confuse me with Andrew F who has a terrible condition and is very bitter about it - understandably, I might add).I feel the need to defend myself against angry others.

I completely agree with Jony.

I did not join this discussion group to be abused (and you know who you are!).
Positive thinking and a happy view of life can be a great way of dealing with, and in some cases, even curing ill-health.


Share this post


Link to post
Richard_Edwards
Posted

I will try to say this in a nice way. There is an old saying - Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins. No one can will away depression. It takes a good therapist (unfortunately, most are average) and sometimes medication to help.

I won't get into my specifics, but I have a good therapist who gave me a diagnosis that all my other therapists over many years never mentioned. She told me to see a psychiatrist who specializes in this area to receive medication. The psychiatrist agreed with the diagnosis and the medicine helps some, but it doesn't do everything. Talking with my therapist helps me very much. If I didn't have these professionals in my life, I don't know if I would have been able to handle the break up with my ex 17 months ago after a 7 year relationship.

Even my best friend has a difficult time understanding my condition although I have told him the diagnosis and the difficulties that I have.

I don't say all this to put anyone in misery, but to tell my truth. I say all this to help give people insight that it is very hard to understand what someone is going through if you have not had similar experiences.

Love and Peace, Richie


Share this post


Link to post
Rod_Bell
Posted

I think every one has a right to express themselves. Just saying.


Share this post


Link to post
Dave_Mack
Posted

When I hear constantly about people and problems I remember the story of POLLYANNA. She played THE GLAD GAME. Anyone here remember that? Haley Mills was the little girl who played the part in the Disney movie.

Now on another note we have lost a contributor. Richard Davies has bailed from the site. He just can't put up with all the bickering and back biting. And I have not heard from Dean H in several days. This has me concerned. I have emailed him off site and no response. Le'ts hope he is OK.

I can tell everyone here I too have considered dropping this site. C'mon people... let's be HAPPY for once.. Celebrate the good and keep the negative to a minnimum. This was a great site until recently. Now its becoming more and more like an old ladies club where all people do is bitch and complain.. Doesn't ANYONE have anything they can be happy about? Consider that you are a lot better off than those who are in the cemetary.. You are above ground and able to breathe and take in nourishment. Isn't THAT something to be happy about?


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

still breathen is my favorate reply to how are you walker all reach their breaking point to what they tolerate speak as you wish i not work for supream court


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

well look...if we wanna talk about depression...i've been throught it myself before...to what degree...well to the fact that i was willing to give up on life...wander the streets & die...i didn't have a therapist & i sure didn't need medication...but i only had the realization of life...i must have a purpose...all this being spiritual of course...but well if people aren't spiritual...you don't have to believe in God...but believe in life...it's should be hard...but it is...& if i can do it...i'm sure anyone can do it...if they truly want to grab a hold of life...but again i have no problem with people sharing their issues...i mean that's another thing we welcome here...but again if i'm trying to keep my topic positive...why are you gonna start trying to make an argument???...if my topic bothers you...well you're not obligated to read it...& you're definitely not obligated comment...i'm all for expressing yourself...but well feel free to express yourself when i'm actually looking for opinons or insight...


Share this post


Link to post
Michael_Wolfe
Posted

I too am tried of all that has been going on and I pray that after I get out of the hospital in week or when they feel I can leave that all of this will be done with....


Share this post


Link to post
Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

I think telling someone to cheer up and grab life who suffers from depression is like saying to an anorexic just to eat a good meal.Alot of us have been through dark times and come out the at the end of it ok.This is a message in itself and when you do it feels great.I agree dont judge untill you have walked in another mans shoes.You say you have suffered depression Johny but have you had to deal with having a disease?When somone is facing difficulty they need to just be heard not preached at.Also i dont think its been all negertive on here,i have been so glad many times to see how everyone has come together on this site to give support to those who are struggerling.By seeing others as a misery we are beeing negertive.I just think we should focus on the increadible amount of support we have given each other and feel good about ourselves.


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

Thankyou all thiose who supported me,,lifes not a bed of roses for some,,i cant have antidepressants as it makes my angina worse,ive had councellors but only they dont help,and dischaged me saying im not thinkin positive,,ive had much surgery.which has failed and the last surgeon didnt do the correct surgery..Id like to see some of these"happy" people cope with what ive been thru in past 25yrs...having diagnosed with mild heart probs at 17 n told they would nt get any worse,then 23 having angina,,30 massive heart attack.32 bypass.8 more heart atacks till 07,anotherbypass in 07 which failed,ive heart block,atrial fibrulation,had 9 pacemakers in 11years as my body either rejects them or they get infected.i cant go walking about n get on with life,,i get breathless,cant walk far,,then i get ,,well jony,,u mustnt have had severe depression,everyone who has cardiac problems suffers with anxiety n depression,,wisdon does come with lifes experiences and more with age..what life do i grab onto..i sure dont want to die n keep thinking theres something mite come along..to beeter my disease,,but after so many years of waiting,,trying things...pushingmyself..plus as the disease progresses..it will only get worse..drs say theres nothing can be done now,one side affect of one of the heart medicines is depression,i asked n came off it only to get acute angina so had to go back on it..each heart tablet that makes me crap costs £35 a tablet thanx to the narrowminded people,,thanx for those who do understand,Andrew


Share this post


Link to post
Homer_Bozarth
Posted

some guys just live on missery. sorry andrew but it is true. i have health problems since i was 14 years old. i am going to die some day. i just hope it is later then sooner. i came to know that if you live a happy life, you will live longer then you do if you live a unhappy life


Share this post


Link to post
Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

Thats a bit harsh.Poor blokes got enough to deal with,without people telling him he is making a song and dance of it.


Share this post


Link to post
Andrew_Sykes
Posted

sorry to hear that @Homer - we all die but hopefully you will some wonderful years left yet - and agree - positive is better than negative when dealing with life - makes big difference - i also will die younger - my heart is very enlarged and is tearing the arteries and the other bits of the heart cannot cope - have had 2 lots of heart surgery next one will be another bypass if possible if not then another heart if one available - if not then go somewhere nice and warm and die peacefully - if go into coma and brain dead (am anyway lol) then have told family for machine to be switched off - do not want to be hooked to machine doing the work of my body - rather go peacefully whllst asleep and not aware of anything even though people have said may wake up one day - no thanks just turn if off.


Share this post


Link to post
Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i try to make the most of it. it is tough to have hiv, heart problems, system shutting down and system not responding to meds. other then that i am one healthy guy who is triing to live life to the fullest guys


Share this post


Link to post
Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i did read andrew, i am not putting you down. i am just stateing facts about most people who lives on misery. that does not include you or me.


Share this post


Link to post
Andrew_Sykes
Posted

there are too many andrew's - we should have numbers so we know which andrew we are refering too


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

i dont live life in misery,,i know people live longer wen happy,,but both my mum n dad suffered with similar probs too,,,heart n depression n anxiety..so both r genetic,,my probs have come much earlier then dads,,his was early 40s..mine 17 i dont llok for it..i try everyday to do summat...bit alas ny angina,my breathing let me down..im andrew f,,,the one thats everyone seems to attck for trying to survive n live with acute heath probs,,thanx anthony for ur support...ive been a member ever since gays.com came about,,,ive just been watchin all this time,,now i try involve..n no one wants a acutlydepresed,anxoius n very senstive person on here,,i dread goin to sllep.as i have terrible nitemares,n i have the fibrulating heart wsich awakes me,i sleep on 5 pillows,,for me to breath.its all too much,,n today found all my ckickens dead,,oh well..


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

omg Andrew, hugs for you. And it's so sad all your chickens were dead. Live happily, cheer up and be tough, I'm sure you can go through all these unfortunates because they have no more harm to you. Remember you've been a survivor for such a LOOOOONG time!!!

Hugs!!!


Share this post


Link to post
Homer_Bozarth
Posted

andrew, i read what you put. i know of several guys who live in misery. trust me when i say that you and i do not live in misery. that is not what i am saying here. what i am saying is that there are people who live in misery and then there are people who lives thier lives to the fullest then there are guys who do not understand what guys like you and i have gone through. it is up to us to teach the guys who dont know what we have gone through, what it is like to live our lives.


Share this post


Link to post
Homer_Bozarth
Posted

like i said before some people needs to be tought what we go through


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

i stand strong to what i've said...& well sucks that some people choose to disagree...but as i've said before & i'll say it again...i'm not a people pleaser...so i think i'm done with this disussion...no i may not have suffered a serious disease as of yet...but believe you me...that i'll be conquering that illness with the strong will to live & a love for life...it may be easy to say it...but it is just as easy to do it...our lives end whether we fulfill our purpose here or not...& it comes to us when it is finally time for us to go...but anywho...my problem was not the fact that i didn't want to hear out Andrew F...but rather me asking nicely to keep my previous discussion positive...i saw no reason for him to attack me or the people trying to keep this site positive...and that is what got me upset...again if you don't like a discussion...please just keep your comments to yourself & move on to a topic that actually catches your interests...there's no need to ruin other people's discussion...i wasn't asking for an opinion...i was asking people to share experiences...so to those who i managed to piss off or whatever...well suck it up...love me or hate me...those are your 2 options...whichever one people choose is ok with me...i'm not gonna cry about it...but as of now...i think i'm gonna take a break...i'll pop in once in a while to see if anything interesting pops up...the last thing i want to hear is that i'm part of the problem...when i'm actually trying to bring some positivity on this site...so i'll take a little break...that way you guys can also have a little break from me...but i'll be checking in once in a while...so we'll see what happens...have fun guys...i hope to see this site getting better...


Share this post


Link to post
Posted

some like showlders to lean on so they can love an live on i very close chest to the troubles i share but others might be a comfort to tell others an not feel alone as other dealing with similar problems sorry i chat to much...


Share this post


Link to post
Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

Wow jony what a tirade.Its not all about you! i feel its a positive thing that we can support each other,we should celebrate this fact.I hope others wont be put off so we can be there for each other.Life is not all la la land but overcoming adversity and sharing gives me inspiration and perspective.I wish everyone well and thank god for all the positive things in my life.


Share this post


Link to post

×