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Michael_Wolfe

gettin old - Gay Guys! <3

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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Hi guys thought this was funny...

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied...
'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented..
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
about being 104?' the reporter asked..
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.
I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to
join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

It's scary when you start making the same noises
as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff
in my shopping cart says,
'For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
the eyesight to tell the difference.

Hope you like it..


Just remember this:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because yoou stop laughing....


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Posted

its awesome!!!! really witty...


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Posted

Very true :-)


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Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

That is fucking funny.Michael a question if you dont mind.I am a terrible technophobe and i would love to send some of this to my chronologicaly challenged friends.How do i do it without typing it all out?do you know?Do you mind.Thanks for making me laugh.


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Posted

@mike can i pls pls copy this to fb???? pls pls pls....


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Carl_Gruel
Posted

Thanks for the good laugh today...I needed it.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

Anthony
If you take your mouse And go to the last word and left click and hold drag your mouse to the left you will see that it highlites the words...Go to last letter at the beging of the sentence and then go up to top..after all is highlite and release left click it will stay highlite right click go to copy and click on it then it is yours..When you go to post you have to right click and click on paste..Hope this helps...

Yes anyone can copy it and repost or send to friends...
I am happy I made you all laugh...Beside having fun in groups and having great discussion this is what the site mangers like to see...


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Robert_Connors
Posted

too friggin funny guy LOL


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Andy_Lee_54601
Posted

very funny, Michael, truly laughed out loud. thanks for that witty banter xx :-))


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

I glad I made everyone Laugh..I do the same thing on my status everyday...Stop by and read it...LOL....


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