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Ashley_Sage_Coon

In the mirror. - Poetry Group

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Ashley_Sage_Coon
Posted

I look in the mirror and see a girl staring back at me,
I don't know who is, because she's not the girl I wanna be.
She puts on a smile, while inside she's falling apart,
she's says, "I'm okay" as pain fills her heart.
She pretends not to care, as everyone slowly walks away,
she hides behind her mask and pretends to be okay.
She is scared to open up and call someone her best friend,
because they all turn out the same and never really care in the end.
She is scared to let people close, it always ends up as heartbreak,
she decides to trust somone, but it always ends up as a big mistake.
She tries the best she can but it always seems to be wrong,
she freezes up at the word "love".
Her muscles constrict as she is touched.
She has ideas for the future, hopes and dreams of her own,
but she doesn't hold her breath because dissapointment is all she's known.
She asks, "why am I never good enough?", "why am I always second choice?".
People tell her she's got to stand up for what she wants,
she's got to find her own voice.
I know who I wanna bem it's all so much clearer.
But the fact of the matter is, I'm only the girl in the mirror..


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Posted

If this is about yourself I feel your pain but living a life as a Buddhist you know the feelings are not real. Its all apart of our own inadequacies that make us vulnerable. I have fought with my own psyche most of my life with people tearing me down but when we believe in ourselves and have faith in our spiritual guides we can conquer anything and like you said no one has the right to judge us and when they do they are actually judging themselves because they compare themselves to others.
So how do you like San Francisco?


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Ashley_Sage_Coon
Posted

This poem is indeed about myself, everything I write is out of pure intention to help ease the tension I feel in my heart..it's the only way I know to cope with things. It's always nice to know that someone's felt the same way at one point or another in their life, though it's sad. You're comments on my poems are always so heartfelt and I wanted to say thank you for each and every one.

And I very much like San Francisco, it's a great city to live in. There's a wide range of things to do and always new places to visit. Along with the Castro and all it's gay shops, bars and clubs. The main perk of living here is that you can be out and proud without being looked on upon like a sexuality mishap. I wouldn't trade living here for most anything, california alone..well, maybe Italy .


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Catherine_Roberts
Posted

Hi just have too say WOW that poem is so powerful,coz it's just how i've been feeling for a very long time. i write alot of poems but i felt mine weren't good enough too put on here.
Thanks for sharing that poem
take care xx


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Ashley_Anderson_55414
Posted

that was amazing sort of evrything i never say..


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Your welcome Ashley. Who knows I might find myself there one day. Not much of a community here for gays. Orlando is better but I do not like the high crime rate there. So I am here for now in this little town and hoping to stretch my wings and maybe feel more welcome in San Francisco. Have a brother in Orange and a cousin in San Jose. I am a reaching though.
Here is one for you honey. I wrote this one in 2008.

“Giving us Purpose Through Illumination”

We are all a part,
Of one another,
Whether we want to,
Believe it or not,
We have affected the future,
Of those around us.
And continue to untie the knot.

From this association,
We need to record,
Special moments,
We have had in our lives:
So when déjavu,
Should come into the realm,
We can catch the past,
And become illuminated,
With memories,
From tokens,
That helped us
Not to forget.

Reminiscing,
Giving a jolt to your brain;
You remember,
With bitter sweetness,
That hangs in the air;
And a tear starts to roll,
From the corner of your eye,
And slowly disappears.

Now your life has more meaning,
Understanding,
With wonderment,
That you became,
A part of that moment,
And it has affected your life.


What ever we touch,
Whether it is an instrument of life,
Or giving from the heart,
Whoever we see,
Or spend time with,
Each experience changes our lives,
Illuminating it,
With more clarity,
To give us purpose,
Because we have affected,
Those around us,
And continue the circle of life.

Jeanie Rose
November 2008


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