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Jon_Buckby

How to brighten up? - Gay Guys! <3

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Jon_Buckby
Posted

I heard that gay guys are more likely to have issues with depression, I'm finding it hard at the moment to be happy despite the fact iv got a pretty good life going.

How do you guys tackle the blues?


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Richard_Edwards
Posted

I speak regularly with a counselor. Talking about things helps me. It also helps that the counselor gives me objective feedback.


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Posted

depression is the spirit of the devil..replace with faith in God.he will lead you to the light instead of the dark..fear and faith can not exist in same place at same time...trust me I know,,, change your thoughts to positive instead of negitive....it is not easy but try...with gods help you will fight the devil...AMEN!


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Jon_Buckby
Posted

I tried talking to a counseller, they wernt very understanding, they just made me feel like i was wasting their time


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Richard_Edwards
Posted

@Jon some counselors are not very good, I had one who would close his eyes when I was talking, I think he was dozing off, at that time I didn't have the guts to walk out. The counselor I have now is great. If you can, try another one. My counselor is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.


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Ryan_Bistarkey
Posted

I dance. When I am sad I dance. After that, I look on the inside to see the real issue and possible solutions. Next, I talke to my friends.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Jon we are here for you if you need to talk..If you don't want to put it in a discusion you can write me here and I will try to be there for you...I am a good lister and I sometimes come up with something good....


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Jon_Buckby
Posted

@michael: thankyou but i don't want to talk about my issues, i wouldn't know what to say.

@ryan, i am pretty introspective, but i dont see any solutions, i might see if i can find a local dance club to try out.

@richard i dont think there are any other options for me, i was told not to use them again as they are busy, they did not give any realistic alternatives


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

I am sorry to hear that about them not being able to help..But I am here for you if you need to talk...


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Jon_Buckby
Posted

theres nothing to talk about, i just wanted to know how other people deal with being down in the dumps


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

hi Jon

What I did was find out what was actually bothering me and acknowledge it and force myself to realise why am I holding onto this.

i am reading this book called Power of Now - Eckhard Tolle. Read it!


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Jon_Buckby
Posted

ill look into that, i certainly have enough time to read


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Posted

Yes Gay People do suffer from depression as straight people do but one way to overcome it is to have interests outside of the comfort zone and I have overcome depression by taking photographs of Blue Plaques - where things have happened,places where people were born etc I am also very happy now as my life has taken a new twist as my BF has asked me to move in with him and I am in the next few days - so I wish everyone on this site to open up and go for every challenge put before them
Do not sit on your butts and think your future happiness will fall from the sky into your lap it will not - you have to work on it....


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Heebie999
Posted

Everyone seems to be assuming that you "have issues" that are making you depressed. Sometimes people get depressed for other reasons. You could have a chemical imbalance in your brain. You could have something that's somewhere in the back of your mind bothering you, but not be able to actually put your finger on what it is.

Personally, I wouldn't recommend a "counselor" nor anyone with a degree in "social work".. every single one I've ever met (and it's a fair number) has been a complete incompetent who screwed up most the people who's lives they touched far worse than if those people had never sought their help, or worse, been forced to utilise them as a resource (as in: public social services social workers.. the most incompetent of them all, but the ones forced upon countless numbers of the most vulnerable people.) [and I know this comment will stir up a shit-storm, but I stand by it nonetheless.]

If you feel you need to talk to someone about something.. see a psychologist. A responsible psychologist will send you to a psychiatrist if he feels that you might have chemical imbalance issues.

As for what you've actually asked about:

I find that the best things for staving off depression are:

Having a job that I enjoy going to
Spending time with people that I care about
Doing things that involve strenuous activity (these are especially good if you do them WITH your friends.)
Taking a walk
Going on a short holiday

Basically.. anything that gives me a little break from my normal routine will generally snap me out of a depressive funk if I'm in one.

One thing that is actually kind of important in relation to depression, however IS having a regular routine.

Another thing that is important is actually getting out in the sun. Not getting enough ultraviolet light on your skin can lead to chemical imbalances in the brain. (too much UV light can give you skin cancer, however.. so there's a balance to be struck.)

Someone else mentioned one of the most important things: Talk to your friends and others that you trust. It doesn't actually matter if you talk about what's "troubling" you.. just chatting with your friends may bring that thing you "just can't put your finger on" to the surface, and help you discover what it is.

If you do end up going down the route of finding a professional to talk to. (which is something you should consider if you feel that your depression issues are reducing the overall quality of your life, and you're having trouble finding ways to deal with it yourself.) then ask other people you know (who are nearby to you) whom they saw, and if it helped them. Go for a session or two or three with them before you decide whether or not to keep going to that person. You won't be helped by someone whom you don't feel you can trust. Trust in the person who's trying to help you is the key to them being able to help you. Without your trust.. they will fail... and trust is earned you can't just turn it on like a switch.

I wish you the best of luck finding ways to stave off your depression, and if you end up feeling that you do need to see a professional, I wish you luck in finding one who is truly excellent! (I know they exist.. having had "issues" when I was a kid, and dealing with depression later on. I've been through this stuff.. and there IS help out there for you if you need it.)


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Posted

having the blues or being stuck in a rut is not the samee as having reactive ior clinical depression
some good reviews above
I have clinical depression,i cant get medication cos it will affect my other heath problems.
I dont have friends to talk to,councellors have ended up discharging me as there is nothing else they can do,,i cant afford hols etc,,ive changed councellors.they cannot change me..


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Heebie999
Posted

AndrewF: You can't take ANY of the SSRI's or MAOI's on the market?

Have you seen a Psychiatrist? (Only a Psychiatrist is qualified to evaluate what meds might work for you.. no counselor can do this.. so if they have told you that they can't do anything for you.. they're just proving one of my points above.. that they're incompetent.. but more importantly.. they are making decisions for you that that are LEGALLY unqualified to make.. at the very least you should complain to the NHS that your needs are not being evaluated by qualified personnel.. if you have private health care, then you should complain even more strenuously! counselors are *NOT* qualified doctors.

If you don't have friends "in real life" to talk to.. you can probably find people on here to listen... maybe even a psychologist or a psychiatrist.


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Posted

I use my writing, both fiction and poetry, to help when I'm depressed. That may not be for everyone's taste, I understand. I also like to read. Keeps my mind distracted from the thoughts that made me depressed in the first place.


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Posted

no i cant take any meds at all....i have acute heart problems which only aggrivate my angina,which ib=ve had since i was in my 20s,,misdiagnosis by my gp..9 heart attacks since 1992,2 triple bypasses wich have failed

ive seen many psychiatrists but they dont know if or wat i should take with my heart probs

councellors cannot prescibe meds..i nvr sed that

i dont have pvt health care as cud not afford it..when this all started 20yrs+ ago
no i dont have frends to talk too..
ones i did,,used to say come over n we will talk about it,,but nvr did,,i used to hear my best frend tell his bf,,just give him plenty to drink,,he,,menin i,,will br drunk.merry in half an hour,,,since my 2nd surgery in 07 wich failed again..i cant drink alchohol..i nvr liked it in 1st place
i cant concentrate,on writing reading
thanx anyway


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Heebie999
Posted

I hope you find something or someone who can help you.


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Heebie999
Posted

Well, I hope you either find the strength to pick the fight back up, or someone else who knows the system does so on your behalf.


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Posted

ive thort most of my life,,maty as well theres just me now,,n no one to help..instead of goin to outpatents appts n getting told same thing,,then cos i dont thoink positively,,they discharged me,,still with a big fite..but they wudnt recsind,,money,,n cutbacks..its ok if have mild depresion,,then can mend you in most cases,,lol
as i sed i dont know anyone...my gps a waste of time as he believes homosexuality is a crime n against his beliefs,,,,no other gp around as its a small village i live in..hes only gp..
thanx todd,,doubt if there any councellors or psychiatrists on this site,,,
i used to b a counsellor myself..used 2b able sort others probs out,,but one cannot do ones own


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Heebie999
Posted

Wow.. you need to find another GP first off! =O


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Posted

only one gp in the village,,and no other villages will take me on as im on the borders of .ie counties,,im 200yds from the border of mersside,,so no one will take me in merseyside as live in lancashire,,but the nearest other health centre is 5 miles away in lancashire and wont take any others from our vilage!


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

@jon, you need a gay counsler not a straight counsler. when i was depressed i had went to a counsler and she turned out to be a lesbian. we talked and she helped me out of the depression. she told me to go fishing and to go to the mountains to count as many wildlife that i could see. she sent me on many quest just so i could be doing something. by the 3rd time that i went on the quest, i forgot what i was deppressed about. if the quest dont work for you,you might wanna ask for a depression drug for a little while till you feel okay to go on with out the drug.


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