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I think it's time for me to go... - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

I think it's time I left this site, reasons being that I am on many LGBT social networking sites and they are calm and welcoming and they help young teens come to terms with their sexuality, your able to talk to others who have more experience and ask for help and advice from them and on one site I'm on (which is the best one) you don't have 50 year old men asking you out and saying they love when they love half way around the world!
There are many reasons to why I think I should leave, this site is not helpful to teenagers who may have trouble with their sexuality and in my experience there are far too many old people asking young people out, yes OK some young people like them old, but I don't and when I tell them I'm not into older guys they either turn nasty or just don't take no for an answer, this site is more of a hitting site than a Social Networking site. I came here hoping to make friends, young and old, hoping maybe with my experience of my own sexuality and past life I could help others when they are in a tough spot, but instead all I commonly see is old people trying to hit it off with really young teenagers, it's sick and the word pedophile springs to mind... And I know that may not be true but c'mon your like 40? 50? and that person is under 16, sick...
This site is too in your face for me and I do have trouble coping and containing my anger at some members in here.

So now as I look at that little green 'comment' button I know that some of you will have some advice ready wether it's relevant or not, or maybe you'll get out your old insult book, I don't know whatever.
So c'mon let's hear it...


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Posted

Oh and just now some wank stain has just insulted my boyfriend saying he's ugly and I can do better HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME AND HE INSULTS MY BOYFRIEND!?!?!?!
Right I'm off this site I've had enough, it's too much, my UC has flared up by triple since being on here!


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Tach_Chew_We
Posted

well good luck with what everbut as i have found out it like that where ever you go you just got to keep your self out of trouble and for get about outhers buy the way you can block people to keep tham from bothering you


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Posted

I have no clue how to close this bloody account.
But since I have the power to reply.
@Jimmy I didn't say all people hit on the younger ones, but most people do, and don't even deny it...


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Posted

well you're free to go where you wanna go...it's not like any of us can stop be from leaving the site...and well the one thing you don't like is the one thing i actually do like...the fact that this site is in your face...because i don't expect anything else but honesty...and well apparently it's easier to get in people's face online rather than in real life...which is kind of crazy...i do agree that there are those older people who can't take no for an answer...luckily i haven't encountered those people...except for one guy...who was a total asshole...but that's besides the point...i'm only here for friendships...and i let people know that...most of them understand...others well they try looking elsewhere because they're not gonna get anywhere with me...i could only guess that you've tried that but still the older people are hitting on you...as for helping other teens out and stuff...well you could do that if you really want...i mean people are always offering advice...whether it's good or bad...it's totally up to you...i can't say i've seen a lot of teens with problems or anything...you may wanna try some of the teen groups and see if they're any troubled teen topics there...because as i said i can't say i've seen any on here...but anywho...if your unsatisfied with this site...well there's nothing anyone can say to stop you...that's a decision you should make...but well you should always join a site that actually works for you...if unfortunately this isn't the site for you...well i wish you luck on the other sites...= )


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Posted

hey richard...you have to go to account...and on near the bottom of the page...it says delete my account...sorry to hear that you're leaving because of that asshole...take care....


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Posted

aaww i not get chance to hit on cute couple giggle be well in your travels


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Lloyd_MacDuff
Posted

Don't leave bud just delet him or go to the admin of this site they will help you


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i am 42 years okld but all i am looking for is friendship. nothing else. i might flirt with young guys like Jony and Oscar but when it comes to meeting and haveing sex with them, think again. i might be a flirt but i do know when to stop. when i was growing up, i had a bad life that involved my parents. i will not tell my story here in a group setting but i will tell it in an e-mail or private chat cause it really is not any ones buisness but my own. if you feel like you need to leave Richard then you leave on your own and dont leave because of any one who acts like a sex offender toward you. if it really gets bad then report the person that is bothering you. i had never got the chance to chat with you personally but you seem like you could be a really good friend.


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Posted

i joken so hope i not upset more


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Ryan_Bistarkey
Posted

Richard,
What other sites do you use? I am curious to see what else is out there.

Thanks,
Ryan.


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Dave_Mack
Posted

Hey Guys, I have come to know Richard and he is a very sensative guy. I don;t know who said what but whomever it was should be ashamed. I may be 59 and LIKE younger men but I respect ALL people. While I may chat off site with a coupld of them there are boundaries and anyone who violates them is just no a nice person. Try and remember when you were in youjr teens. You had no older role model to turn to for advice and a non-sexual shoulder to lean on. Anyone who has not got the courteay to accept that doesn't belong on line. Have a little understanding and everyone can enjoy the site.


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i do too Dave


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Posted

well guys i think he might've left already...seriously tho that's messed up what that guy said about his boyfriend...where in your mind do you get the idea to tell someone they can do better???...what an insensitive comment...i mean i'm not gonna lie...i was super close to saying somethin like that to one of my ex who left me for his ex...who btw always made him feel like shit...as for me...he never complained he was always happy with me...and still he choose his ex...eh but oh well time went on...and now me & him are best buds...


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

thats cool jony


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Posted

Damnit. And I never even got to say goodbye either. Granted I almost (or never) talked with him but he seemed like a decent guy. :-/


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

we all agree that he was a decent guy Trevor


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Posted

be hard shoes to fill but if he happy only have best wishes to him


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Homer_Bozarth
Posted

i agree with you satrer


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Posted

scarry giggle but drama not me here i a goof on line real life seperate for safty


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Neil_Hilde
Posted

There are times when I hate to be a voice of dissent, I mean he was a decent sort. However, as far as teens on the site goes, it's right in the Terms of Use that, "Gays.com is available only to individuals who are at least 18 years old." Why they allow teens younger than 18 to join is beyond me, and is up to the owners/admins to fix if they choose.

Now that does not excuse the behaviour of some of our members. To flirt with, then insult, or harass, a member when they get shot down is not exactly adult behaviour. I actually wish there was an easy way to block someone rather than just report them for being a-holes. :-P


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Posted

yes...some of you guys should join the feedback group...i have a discussion there asking the gays.com staff to please work on getting us a block button...i'm sure if they read that enough people want a block button...they'll try and work on making one...


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Posted

Neil they might allow it so gay guys under 18 have a safe place to talk to other guys instead of ending up in serious shit and getting raped, or even abducted and killed, I know it an happen and it screws you up for a real long time.

Why is it that so many gay guys think that you don't become gay till you are 18 and before that everything is just roses?????


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Dave_Mack
Posted

Excellent point Dean. People seem to have this silly notion that sex is unimportant til you are 18. Be realistic. We ALL thought about it even pre teen...


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Posted

Several good points there from Jony, Dave & Dean.

I have one friend about my age (in his late 40's) who has admitted to me that his gay sex-life started at the age of 7, when he seduced his teenage babysitter... and yes, I said seven! He was "actively" and "physically" gay from that age, never ever regarded himself as being "abused", is totally well-adjusted, has no psychological problems, and is now happily married to his long-term male partner, who is around the same age as him. I also had a boyfriend (some years ago now) who told me he had tried to seduce a middle-aged builder who was working at the next door property when he was 10. It was an unsuccessful attempt, but nevertheless fuelled his fantasies for many years to come! I, myself, also remember having "crushes" of a very physical kind at the age of 9 or 10 (although I, personally, didn't do anything about it - mainly because it was mostly about characters in books and on TV!). On the other hand, I know guys in their late teens & early twenties who are perfectly happy, and even proud to still be "total virgins", and who have never had any desire to do anything but masturbate.

I'm not saying either that anyone should allow or condone the sexualisation of preteens, or alternatively that everyone should cling to their virginity into their twenties. I'm merely trying to make the point that there are as many "takes" on this subject as there are men and boys on the planet. Everyone is different. What would be abuse for one may be an essential part of growing up for another.

We "more mature" guys must accept that whilst there ARE teenage lads who find us attractive in a physical way, there are a whole lot more who would value our friendship and experience, but DON'T want to get physical or sexual with an older man. There is most definitely nothing to be gained and an awful lot to lose by turning to insults when a young lad says "No thanks!" to our advances. Surely it is so much better to reply to their rejection in a positive way & offer to be there as a friend if they need us? It also helps no-one and may even do harm to "engage in the flageolation of deceased equines", or, to put it in the vernacular, "there's no point in flogging a dead horse"! If a young guy has said categorically that he has no interest in a physical relationship with an older man, what's the point of continuing to bug him? Does anyone out there actually think that the 53rd answer is going to be any different from the first? Has anyone ever managed to pester someone into bed? Hey, guys, desperation is a mightily unattractive thing! Much as it may sometimes seem like that boy who just rejected us was "our last chance for happiness", it's not true. I can actually point you to websites where teenage boys are looking for "granddaddies"! Recently, I have had more rejections for being too young than too old. One young lad of 19 once told me to come back in 10 years time! ;-)

I need now to address the other side of the problem. That is the young guys who immediately start hurling insults at any older guy who tries to talk to them. Once again, surely it's better to just say "Thanks for the offer, but no thanks" and leave the door open for non-sexual dialogue, rather than doing the "Shut the f..k up, you horrible old pervert. You make me sick..." thing? Remember that this guy who has contacted you, regardless of his age, is actually paying you a compliment by thinking you are attractive. At least give him credit for that much, even if you find the thought of sleeping with him repellant! MOST of us older guys DO take "No" for an answer, and are then mature enough to still be there for you as a friend & confidante IF YOU WANT. There are perverts out there who will continue to pester you, but, fortunately, they are in the minority. Most of us value the platonic friendship of young people as much as or even more than having them as sex-partners, especially if the choice is between one night of sex or a lifetime of friendship. Please try not to pre-judge us from one message. If you're not interested, simply say so without the insults and accusations. You'll find that 99% of us will then wish you well and move on.

For the 1% who do pester & annoy the teens on here, I agree that a "block" button would be a really good thing. I'd also like to see a box on the profiles where you have to specify a minimum and maximum "acceptable age". That way, if a guy has put a maximum of (e.g.) 60, he couldn't then kick off about getting a message or friend request from a 59 year old. Also it would mean that if one of we "oldies" were checking out a young lad's profile & saw he had specified a maximum acceptable age of (say) 25, we'd know that there was little point in contacting him, and, once again, 99% of us wouldn't bother.

For the time being, may I suggest that any of you youngsters who don't wish to be contacted by older men state that clearly but politely on your profile? A simple "18-25 only please" or something like that would suffice, and would keep most of us away!


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