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D.M_Barrera

Would yu date a transgender? - Lesbian Ladies

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Posted

@Jessica Thank you for explaining that to Leanna! The whole hormone thing is a LOT harder than people realise.

I'm very tempted to write a guide to help people understand or see what's coming but for 3 problems, it might turn into a simple vent for myself, it's different for everyone and I doubt all but a few would care.


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Heather_Darby
Posted

I would date a transgender person. I care more about a person's personality than what is on the outside.

Charlotte, I think you should write a guide! Even if you only help 1 person, that is one person who is a better person now because of you! I think a lot of people are curious about this subject, but it's really hard to find a tactful way to ask the questions without offending a person. I think it would be a good thing if someone was brave enough to answer all the hard questions so that people (like me) are a little less ignorant about things and therefore will be less likely to offend anybody simply because I am ignorant about things. I can only learn so much from google. =P


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Posted

That would be a wonderful idea, Charlotte! Just take your time, talk to other people and write, clear, general guidelines from common experiences. I think it could do a world of good to raise awareness and understanding of the T in LGBT

And thanks! I like to think I have an open mind, and especially in regards to that I've come to the conclusion in the last two years that I'm attracted to the female gender, rather than purely the female sex, if that makes any sense. Besides, I connect with a person, not a vagina LOL.


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Rachel_Kind
Posted

I like natural people and even though they changed because they are transgender, plastic surgery is a major turn off...I'm sorry.
If they weren't taking hormones or had any surgery just Identified as a woman and dressed like one I guess so.

Honestly I know people are going to yell at me for saying this...

But you where born in the body you were given and you should make the best of what you have. Be thankful you can see, speak, hear, smell and walk, why ask for more. I mean if you have like a major deformation or something that is risking your health or making daily tasks much harder then I can understand, for that reason, to get surgery.

I mean there is quite a few transgender people, that after all the surgery are angry at themselves for doing all those things to their bodies. Sex is but a small portion of your life and I feel that people completely identify their entire being with it(which is silly, there is so much more to a person than sex.)

Also if the human body is under major stress the first thing to shut down is your sexual organs, so it's not needed for survival? So why change yourself?

Baby you were born this way...

Yah I know a lot of people are going to yell at me now.


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Posted

Yes, I am definitely going to write that guide now, too true is the fact that some people don't understand, to varying degrees. I'm hoping that it will eventually help other people come to terms with what they feel. That's only if I can write it in a manner of sufficient quality, and given the angry rant following this paragraph, it's safe to say I can write well when offered sufficient incentive.
I'm also going to start taking pics of me at regular intervals, I'm hoping for a flick book when I'm done :P

@Rachel Let the berating commence!

One of the many things you don't understand on this subject is that many trans people view their body as unrivalled malformation, thus the need to change it. Let's zip up your legs, cut off your breasts and see how long you last shall we?

Further more you under estimate the psychological harm that the feeling of being trapped in body can inflict, going through HRT and any subsequent surgery IS making the best out of it. I would rather be struck down by a bolt of lightning than have to deal with the fact I'd have to spend the rest of life as a man.

Now for the topic of being "natural", no trans person is any more or less natural than anyone else. You view having surgery as being unnatural, but let's think about your failure here. The object of surgery in this context is to change how others perceive the person in question, which is natural, if drastic and you do exactly the same thing. Every time you wear make up, buy clothes, get a new hair cut, even look in a mirror, use your car or any transport system and a plethora of other things, you attempt to change how people perceive you, shall we all call you unnatural for wanting to be happy with how you look? No, because it's normal, natural, a basic human function to want to fit in and be comfortable.

So before you even think of wielding your crowbar of hypocrisy again, remember that you're as unnatural, weird, vain and arrogant as the rest of us. Never forget that.

Feel free to disagree with that, one opinion is of no concern.

Don't think I'm crazy, I perform THIS way!


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jessicazylee
Posted

if we should just work with what we have been dealt, what's the point of reconstructive surgery? or what about surgeries to correct cleft palates and lips? or any of that? you can live without the surgery.


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Posted

Rachel I'm glad your happy with your body, but a lot of people aren't. As I see it your soul is the most important thing and if your body doesn't reflect how you feel its very hard to become confident and happy with your self. Its the same with gay people, if they were forced to be straight there whole life, get married and have children. I'd expect people would wither and die.

When you see trans people who have transitioned they often start as shy under confident people and become radiant individuals. I have friends who say after they transitioned everyone noticed them. Not in a bad way like thinking they were nasty looking cross dressers but noticing there confidence.

I don't see any reason to be stuck in a body you hate and confined to living a fake life to mimic your assigned gender.


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Posted

It would depend on the person in question, if I liked them then yes, if not then no.


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Rachel_Kind
Posted

I am not saying all surgery is bad, if it's to fix a deformation, or something that will kill you (like a tumor) or reconstructive surgery(so your bones won't brake in the years to come), I mean what I am saying is I don't hate transgender people or anything I have a friend who is and I support her/him no matter what. I am just having a hard time understanding why someone can hate themselves so much?
@Charlotte Barlow
Also I wish people could walk around naked! clothes make people ugly, Society makes people think they have to change themselves. Society says we have to get married, to buy things, to look pretty(or else no one will love us)

Also I rarely put on makeup, but I do like make jewelery and clothes and putting outfits together, I see it as art and enjoy matching, I am not doing it because I am trying to Look pretty, or doing it to attract a mate.


Before society humans just tried to survive, be in communities and such.

Souls have no genders "Bodies do"
so if you don't believe in souls then I can completely understand why one who is transgender can feel the way they do and it must be hard.

@Leanna I read you comment and I understand you. But I didn't used to like my body just like everyone else, I took a long time for me to finally accept myself for who I was. Some days I feel like Trash (for a totally different reason) but I work hard those days to remember that I am human, I am not perfect, I never will be and that the imperfections is what makes everyone beautiful.

But on a different topic, majority of people in this world are not happy for endless reasons. Even people who are pretty, smart, rich, married the person they wanted, have the job they wanted, people respect them and are in good health...
Even those people can be unhappy as well!

So whether you have been given a blessed life or a life full of pain and misery people are still unhappy.
Ex: people who visit Cambodia notice that even though a lot of the farmers and workers there are poor, and have a hard life, many of them are happy, when asked why it's because they were content with their lives and didn't desire anything greater. I know this concept is very hard for people of 1st world modernized countries to understand because society tells us to consume, consume, consume.

This is why when people want to change themselves Physically, shouldn't they be trying to free their mind of darkness, and worldly desires?

Wanting and Needing only lead to suffering...
I feel this goes for everything and so it does for transgender people as well, in their case they are desiring to be a different gender.

The only way I see they're not like everyone else suffering the same desires of the human mind is that if it's like a disorder or miscommunication of nerons. How many studies have been done on Transgender people? (by legit people not like extreme religious groups)
If so I would like to read them, so I can learn more.


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Posted

Why someone can hate themselves so much? It's not a case of hating one self, it's hating the body just because it's so perceived as so far from how one wishes to be seen.

Naked indeed! I think not, we'd be cold and I'd be *really* unable to pass. Still you do put outfits together, while you say it is not to attract and look attractive, there is no third option given where you live. Also the fact that you
rarely put on make-up just compounds things, that is the quintessential practice that you just railed against. I'd go on about jewellery but I feel there is little need now.

Just look at your profile picture before you try that again.

As for people being happy, yes people will always be unhappy, life is a series of disappointments after all. To what extent is another matter, after the transition I will be less unhappy than I am now, just as I'm happier now than I was a years ago.

So you can cut your worthless spiritual drivelling, if all that hippy nonsense was worth a grain of salt, the culture wouldn't be dying out. "...Free their minds of darkness and worldly desires", time you for a reality check. Humans are frail, needy things with desires and dreams.

"Before society humans just tried to survive, be in communities and such." We're in a society now, no matter how you personally wish we weren't, deal with it.

I'm going to dismiss the soul part as some spiritual, sanctimonious arse water you've been deluded into believing and leave it at that.


As for studies, they are numerous indeed, though all are ultimately useless, sure one can cover the physical aspects of a transitions, MTF or FTM but you can't quantity or express how the person feels or changes mentally. The best way is to find and have a conversation with a trans person.


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Rachel_Kind
Posted

Then why make a transition if you will still be unhappy? Is the point of life, to do things to make ones self happy?

getting a promotion, finding a good job, looking nice, traveling, making friends, having a lover.

But in the end does any of this make us happy?

No.

The only person that can make you happy is yourself.
So if you can't love yourself now this very monument, second in time, then how will you in the future? weather you change yourself physically or mental?

I think if a transgender person honestly accepted and loved themselves before their surgery, then it would be a totally different story, and getting a surgery after this acceptance, would be a bonus not a solution.

If true happiness came from outside changes then wouldn't their be a lot more happy people in this world?

If you feel that humanity right now is at it's best I would have to disagree, the human race has never been perfect but it's definitely going in the opposite direction. Until people can start caring about one another, and loving themselves for who they are and accepting others for their difference humans will continue looking for worldly desires to fill the voids in their hearts.

back to the transgender thing, I never said it was wrong or bad (life isn't black or white), I would just like to understand more about it, that's too bad there isn't more research on it.


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Posted

Perhaps I phrases it badly, I mean there is no such thing as complete and utter happiness but with the transition and subsequently how people see me, I'm getting closer.

Further more, it's not that I don't love myself, who I am, it's my body in it's entirety that I'm at odds with, it's a remarkably simple concept that you're not understanding.

As for true happiness being a result of a locust of external factors... see above.

I don't think humanity is at it's best currently, nor has it ever been or will ever be. While the individual has the ability to care about another, understand and accept, it is a limited thing. Call it self preservation, common sense or evolution if you will but humanity just isn't capable as a whole of caring for every single person, not caring what people think, self sacrifice or the want to understand everything. It's a fact of life, just as it is that fat women shouldn't wear leggings

Right, enough reflection on human nature, it's depressing If you want to find out more about transgender people, find one and ask, read a biography of two, just because studies doesn't cover a lot of things doesn't mean there aren't things that do. Ask Leanne, I dare you :P


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Posted

Rachel please try buy or borrow this book, its written by a non bias awesome transgender woman she has a youtube channel too.

http://www.youtube.com/user/katebornstein

http://www.amazon.com/Gender-Outlaw-Men-Women-Rest/dp/0679757015/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312112236&sr=8-1

Some transgender people do hate there bodies for sure but the reasons are not what you think. Its not like a model starving her self to be skinny just because it makes her happy.

When we are born we are forced into a gender role, males are tough and do hard work, women are caring and pretty etc. The problem is some people just feel they don't fit those stereo types.

Some times I tell my friends, imagine if one day you had to have an operation to remove your breasts and grow facial hair and then shave your head. You weren't allowed to wear what you wanted. How long could you live like this without feeling terrible?

Quite afew trans gender people try hard to fit into there role, I know trans gender people who have been in the US army shaven head and all, have married and farthered children. but finally they come to the point where they can't cope any longer and start to transition.

There are some trans people who feel female/male from the time when they realise that there is gender. They start to grow female/male traits at puberty, boobs body hair and just can't cope with it. These people start to self harm, slash there male/female parts. This is why these people must get treatment before they commit suicide. There's no way around it. It would be cool if there was some camp where transgender people could go and get conditioned to be there assigned gender but it just doesn't happen like that.

I'd say it was a constant sickness which has but one cure and ignoring a sickness only makes it worse.

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Rachel_Kind
Posted

@Leanne
Thank you Leanne I am glad that everyone realized I was just curious and wanted to learn more about transgenderism and not hateful 0<

shalom everyone and good night.


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