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Andrew_Schiiler

Best friend perdicament... - Gay Guys! <3

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Andrew_Schiiler
Posted

How do you tell your best friend that you love him? He is gay too so it at least gives me more of a chance haha. He has a bf right now so i know now is not the time but i feel i have to tell him soon. We have had intrest in each other before but he has 'moved' on and i havent. I have had feelings for four years and its killing me inside. We are so close and i dont want to do anything that would compromise our friendship, and thats the main reason i havent told him.


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PETER_TWOWAY
Posted


GO OUT FOR A DRINK TELL HIM HIS BF IS A LUCKY GUY AND YOU WISH YOU COULD MEET SOME ONE LIKE HIM


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Posted

well seems like you're in a similar predicament as i was...sort of...my best friend and i flirted a lot before...but we never acted on it because we didn't wanna risk our friendship...he has a boyfriend...and one night we went clubbing and got drunk...next thing you know...we're making out...as we're sobering up we felt bad...and after a few days i had confessed my past feelings for him...and he did too...but agreed that we should leave the past where it is...and for my b-day we went clubbing again...i tried to keep my guard up...but before you know it we were making out again...1st time we blamed it on the alcohol...2nd we're just confused...but anywho...i've had time to really think things through...and this time i've decided to leave the past behind...whatever feelings we had...they're gone...at least from my part...i really love and respect him as my best friend...and when i think about it our friendship is really great...and i'd like to keep it that way...so think things through...as you've said...he's moved on from then...i think you need to get on the same page...give yourself the chance to meet someone else...and well if it's meant to be...it's meant be...only time will tell...all you can do is wait...but i don't think telling him about your feelings while he has a boyfriend is a good idea...but that's just me...the decision is up to you...i hope i was able to help you out...


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Posted

Andrew your very young and you have to move on as well, If your friend felt the same way about you I think he would have made those feelings known to you, I was in love with a friend for many years and he knew it, but as far as he was concerned it was "love in friendship". you don't want to spoil that friendship do you, we all sometimes fall for people we can't have, so move on and keep him as a friend, thats much more important.


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Posted

I have to say I know completely how you feel. I think the problem I had is that my best friend and I became really dependant on each other, he's partially trans as well. I know we love each other but I think he can't cope with being in a gay relationship. He says he's bi but he really has hurt me. I want to move on but I love him and he's always there.

Sheesh I sound really sad!


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Vick_Raven
Posted

i have many friends who have this sort of problem....it would be wise to tell him abt it and say tht you want to be honest as u are his best friend. tell him tht ur feelings for him wont affect ur current relationship with him..and see how he reacts...and 'breathe' it helps....take a deep breathe and make every moment with him count...


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Posted

It will hurts you anyway. If you tell him this as soon as possible whatever his reaction will be, you will know what he thinks and you won' regret the time lost in pain.


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Posted

mary! please! move on to bigger better and harder!!!


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Andrew the best way to handle this is just be friends untill his other friend moves on then tell him how you feel..Don't come between them..In the mean time try to find someone who is going to be there for you..
If you really can't wait then ask him to have a drink with you (Coffee, soda) when you are at the table talking tell him that you have like him and when or if the other friend leaves you will be there for him..


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JERRY_CAMPBELL
Posted

Oh Andrew... life just isn't fair. You seem to have very well-defined affection, and you are a high-order communicator... at least in writing. So, as well as you have told us, you now have to tell him... if you must do it in writing, that may be best. Taking him out for a drink... could be misunderstood as the drink talking.
So, don't overdo the "set up" of a conversation that has to be, above all, natural and from your heart. OMG my heart goes out to you. Best wishes in dealing with this. And, dealing with it soon you must. Warm regards, Jerry Campbell


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JERRY_CAMPBELL
Posted

Oh Andrew... life just isn't fair. You seem to have very well-defined affection, and you are a high-order communicator... at least in writing. So, as well as you have told us, you now have to tell him... if you must do it in writing, that may be best. Taking him out for a drink... could be misunderstood as the drink talking.
So, don't overdo the "set up" of a conversation that has to be, above all, natural and from your heart. OMG my heart goes out to you. Best wishes in dealing with this. And, dealing with it soon you must. Warm regards, Jerry Campbell


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Posted

well seems like everyone but me is rooting for you to tell him...but i don't really see much going on if you do tell him...because if he's truly moved on as you say...nothing's going to change...sure you let out your feelings...but that's about it...if he really loves his current boyfriend...he's going to stay with him...and what are you going to do with your feelings for him???...i don't know why...but i get the feeling that you're hoping that he still has feelings for you...and if you are...i suggest you don't hold onto that...because if you do decide to tell him...it's only going to make you feel worse...when and if you find out that your friend doesn't feel the same towards you...it's best not to hold onto false hopes...so go with an open mind and don't expect anything if you do tell him...but also think about the boyfriend...if for some reason your friend does feel the same...how would you feel if someone came between you and your boyfriend???...that's why i say to let it go...if it's meant to be...it's meant to be...you just have to wait for the right moment...now that he has a boyfriend...i don't think it's the right time...if he was single...then of course that would be a different story...but again these are only my thoughts and opinions...so don't feel bad or anything...and i hope that whatever choice you make...you're ready to deal with the outcome...best wishes...


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