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Jony_Star

My Darkest Place... - Gay Guys! <3

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Posted

well i can't say that my whole life has been full of happiness and sunshine...and the poems i've shared so far were about my dark times...but i have yet to reveal the darkest of all my times...until now...but i want you to know that my dark times are part of my past...i've never really expressed them before...and with my fond of writing poetry i finally can release myself of the past...this isn't how i'm feeling now...so don't worry or anything...

Death Wish

Falling down into the deep abyss…
Trapped in this world of endless strife…
I don’t want to continue living like this…
I don’t see the importance of my life…

Why should I live another day???
There’s just no place for me here…
My life is a waste that’s all I can say…
I should do everyone a favor and disappear…

Walking through darkness and despair…
Why is it that I continue to live???
It's not as if I really care…
I’m just nobody with nothing to give…

I’m relieved to say that I am free…
My life fades away with this final breath…
Life was so meaningless to me…
Then again so was I even after death…


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Posted

Thanks for sharing Jony I feel that way on my worse days but I'am okay for the most part life has been a challenge for me being lonely and all but I'am hanging in there.


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Posted

Hi Jony

I feel like that too sometimes thanks for sharing it because at least it helps me know I am not the only one


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Posted

i've left my dark times in the past...in a way i did die...but i was reborn as much stronger person...i finally let go & i've learned that i can't let my bad emotions chain me down...there's so much good out there...& i wasn't letting myself see it...or gave myself the chance to experience the good things in life...i'm a much different person since then...


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Posted

thankgod jony..you are gods child and life is too short for strife. was touched by you and your poem,...thanks for reminding me life is precious.... ps..so cute you are.....


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Posted

so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


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Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger.We are the people we are because of the bad times as well as the good.
Thanks for sharing.


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Daniel_Markov
Posted

well Jony i m there right now .I have not had the courage to put an end so I just left that life pass me by.every word, each question,conclusion----you just described my soul,my thought, my life.beautiful as a poem
but suks as a reality.end i will copy this one thanks


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JJ_NN
Posted

jony Rubalcava<

why, in god's name, do you have the urge to tell all your personell secrets to the world????????????????

i think it is sick !!!!!!!!

try an shrink.

greetings from Holland,

JJ


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Posted

Jony ignore idiots like JJ NN please.

Not getting the bad things out of your head can really hurt and twist you up, so ignore him and people like him. I know a lot about keeping things inside and secret so don't do it.

It was a good poem.


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Posted

Good comment Dean Hargreaves,and Jony he is right,keeping things inside that are not good for you will always cause you harm,if you find it easier to say them on here do so,and its good to hear that you have sorted these dark times out of life,take care Jony and i wish you all the best mate.


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Posted

Hey, Jony, I agree with Dean. It's a good, well crafted poem which describes a darker side of life where most of us have been at sometime. The fact that you've now published it means it is no longer a "personal secret". It may help someone else to come to terms with their own problems, leave their own "dark times" behind and walk out into the light. I congratulate you for your courage, honesty and writing skills.

Now, JJ: I won't attack or "flame" you, as we're all entitled to our opinions, but PLEASE try to be a bit more understanding of the guys in here, especially the younger ones. OK, so you don't want to hear about "other peoples' problems", but in that case, you do have the option of not clicking on a thread which reads "My Darkest Place..."! If you must comment, then please, please, please, bear in mind that some of the young guys in here are especially vulnerable, and, whatever your personal opinions, I doubt that you would want to be the person who "drove them over the edge" to an even darker place or possibly even to do something really stupid.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

I have to agree with Dean & Ian on this Jony forget about people like J.J. write your poems and share them with others because there might be that one person who is on the edge and if he reads what you wrote and stops and thinks about his life then you have help..

@Ian I could not have said that any better....I remember what my mother said if you don't have something nice to say then keep your mouth shut and move on..


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Posted

thanx guys...& don't worry about JJ gettin to me...it's not like i actually care...i'll continue to write and share with you guys...


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Posted

great poem,i think like too much like that,and very little on the good things cos its easy to do that


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JERRY_CAMPBELL
Posted

Dean H. is right on. Jony R. , it is so much better to recognize the dark, deal with it and then jettison it out as no longer the dark that brings you down. I encourage both of you to dwell on your positive character, ability, caring attitude. Heads up, you have much to offer, things will fall into place. Best wishes to you, both !


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JJ_NN
Posted

it seems most of you guys think i am a bad person,don't you???????????????

well, the only thing i have tryed with his problem was to be realistic, that is all

i didn'want to harm him at all.

greetings to you all bad at me or not.................

JJ


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Posted

JJ...i don't have a problem...again...this isn't how i'm feeling now...this is something from my past...i've used to have these feelings and now i don't...from that darkness...i was reborn a whole new person...this is just something i wanted to release from my past...thanx for the supporting comments...but really guys don't worry...i'm not that person anymore...i've happily moved on...and no longer have these thoughts...and JJ i'm sure u didn't mean to sound like that...but i'm gonna tell you something...what i share and who i share it with is my decision...it's not like ur obligated to see what the discussion is about...if you don't like it...don't read it...simple as that...there's no need to say things like that...i wasn't hurt or anything by it...but like they've said before somebody could've written this and could've been vunerable...and a comment like that could've made them feel worse...let's think about what we're gonna say beofre we say things like that...


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JJ_NN
Posted

ok.........no hard feelings,i may hope?

greetings,

JJ


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Posted

there are no hard feelings...everything's good...


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JJ_NN
Posted

ok, i am very glad to hear that.

hugs,

JJ


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Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

Suicide is a very high statistic among young gay men.The emphasis has to be on recovery and how you recovered.Maybe it may be an idea to think about how you overcame the dark times.This could be a helpful follow up.Yes get your feelings out but with care for those who are stuck and can only see one way out.


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Posted

Please contact gay hotline or write me I felt the same when I realized at 31 with a wife and kid I was gay. Not thebest time. I am a retied psych. and will glady write to you Brian Pedersen
Peolpe in Europe are more open but God we do not judge other this is serious!


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Posted

it is sad that some people didn't have to strength to free themselves from such emotions and thoughts chained by sadness and suffering...seeking death as an escape...it's true...death is the escape...but it doesn't have to be physical...only emotionally...as these emotions of mine died...new ones were born...as so i too died...and was also reborn...but it's not easy...you have the strong will...or a little motivation...my motivation was my baby sister...to feel a new life in your arms...filled my heart with so much hapiness and love...like i've never felt before...i guess that's why they say that babies are magical...ever since i've dedicated myself to taking care of her...i will always owe her more than she'll ever know...and in return she'll always have my love...


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Antony_Terrance_Parker
Posted

I am happy for you but the use of the word died troubles me.


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