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Ryan_Siriwardene

100% - Gay Guys! <3

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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

Can anyone justify love for someone else to me? Since I was young I pictured getting married and having children, growing old together and all that jazz. I met this guy who completed that picture but at the time I wasnt out and completely freaked out as being gay and Catholic, the two dont go together or so I thought at the time. Went through many stages of depression. Lost my appreciation of life, became obsessed with him and losing myself in the process, deleted him from my life, tried to find different guys to fix this emptyiness inside of me, explore my sexual orientation by putting myself out to the max and what I believe in danger to myself, lost my virginity, taken advice for everyone telling me to move on, which I have tried, being ashamed of myself and what I like. Come to 2011, I feel like me again, got a supportive family particularly my Mum who told me to up my standards when it comes to being with guys, Love myself and who I have become More of my friends know I am gay and actually dont mind anymore I love God more than ever and thankful for what he has done for me Finding companionship with other guys, which I didnt have much of when growing up Concentrating on my studies and almost finish, love my job once again. Completing goals which I have always wanted to complete and satisfied with the result. BUT with all this I still long for the guy I fell for ages ago. The best part, we never made out, the closest I got to touching him was shaking his hand. Hopefully I get to see him in two months time when I visit him in the country he lives in. I am so excited just to see him, although I do want more than a friendship. Ive been with other guys, dont get me wrong, it has been great too, however, always had doubts when I was with them. I could not commit or I would get bored. However, with this guy I cant define what excites me about him. Although I shouldnt ask advice, any tips of what I can do so the encounter does not blow up in my face like it has done in the past with other guys? Does this post make sense?


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Posted

Just relax and be yourself. It can be exciting yet nerve wrecking to see someone you want to see but haven't seen for some time. Keep your composure, and have a great time seeing him. And who knows, if things go well between you two, things might turn out the way you hope. Good luck Ryan. :-)


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gstanescu84
Posted

Thats a beautiful and magnicificent post Ryan. I went true some of those things u went through. lovign this amazing guy. he was the world to me, growing old, palling the future with this guy. but the coming out stopped that. Just do what you think is best. Most of all, I really do sincerely hope you get this fella that you have fallen for and hope you get the reaction taht you deserve and hope for. BEst wishes from IReland..


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Posted

We all are looking for the same,great comments on this,to find the right guy,who makes you feel complete in every way is worth searching for,we all may get some idiots along the way,and get hurt most of the time,but it would never stop me looking for the guy that completes you!!!!!.


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

@paul - I been through every emotion and after all of it, I really love this guy and I have no doubts about it. I have people around me telling me to move on and I did and it got me nowhere as when I tried to make it work...well you know the rest of the story as I mention it my post


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Ryan you never mention if the other guy is gay or str8...That would matter..If he is then great just talk to him and be yourself...If not then you might step back and think about it frist feel him out to see how he might feel about gay people..


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JERRY_CAMPBELL
Posted

Ryan, your epistle is perfect. Now, you are not so mysterious. Maybe once in your lifetime, maybe twice or more, Mr. Right will walk in the room and you will know it !


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

@michael - he is definitely gay I knew when I first met him even though my Gay detector sucked as I couldnt tell a co-worker was gay until he told me.

This guy I just knew and he drove me insane and then he added me to facebook, it confirmed it as I was pissed he didnt tell me but now I realise not all gay guys are open. At the time, I didnt realise I could fall for a man.

@Jerry, I thought it happened twice more but I realise the latter I did not want so much as I got over the desperation of being wanted to be needed. Now I am a stage in a life where I can stand on my own and have my family and close friends but there is still part of me that gets excited of seeing "him" again.


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JERRY_CAMPBELL
Posted

For you to know your self is key. And you are O.K. Nobody knows more about you that you. Not your mother, not your doctor, not your lover. So, best wishes to you as you listen to yourself !


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Posted

i got 4 words for you Ryan..."GO GET YO MAN!!!"...lol...


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JERRY_CAMPBELL
Posted

People live and operate on different planes. Some take you exactly where you want to go in life, safely, rewardingly. Others, not so much, directionless, a risky waist of time.


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

@Jony - your comment remind me of my brother, he always telling me to suck it up princess or grow some balls.

@Jerry - Definitely know some time wasters in my life.

I know I have to say what is on my mind even though it scares me to think he will reject me again, I have never felt so excited over someone/some guy before. When I look at him, I dont see a guy, I cant describe it but I always saw myself and him at an old age.

Need to finish an exam off for Uni. Thanks for your encouragement all, now i just need to believe in myself and have fun when I do see him.


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Michael_Wolfe
Posted

@Ryan I think you know what you want and you are right you need to be just yourself and have fun...


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Posted

wel your brother is right...you either do this or you don't...but this is a risk worth taking...it is always best to know that you at least tried...rather than wonder what could've happened...so if he takes you back that's great...if he doesn't...maybe you guys can become close friends...& you'll move on to continue searching for that special guy that is meant for you...don't worry...


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

thanks all!


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Posted

I appreciate this discussion. If this were Facebook, I would be pressing many "likes". Ryan, your openess about your different feelings helps me more deeply explore my own. Jony, I like what you write about how "it is always best to know that you at least tried". This is a great gift we can give ourselves!


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

Hey Bruce

I was only open with this discussion because I was going insane as I waited so long to find someone and it happen to be this guy.

I had so many people telling me to move on and I did I either got burnt or did "stuff" I should have never done in the first place.

Feel free to add me to facebook Bruce, Ive got plenty of stuff to click the like option too. That goes to everyone that has contributed to this post!


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gstanescu84
Posted

cool. WOuld luve to connect with you fb style. my id is georgecoffey5


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Ryan_Siriwardene
Posted

I wonder though if it makes a difference if you told someone how you felt already and they knock you back.

You move on coz but you do not feel satisfied (if that is the right word). You feel something is missing. Can one person complete you or should u rely on yourself to find contentment?

Is it okay to try your luck and ask that same person out again? I was watching the movie Birth- with Nicole Kidman (great film by the way), her husband in the film kept on asking her until she went out with him even though she was still in love with her dead husband.

Does the other person have rights? What I mean is 'what they want does not matter as long you get what you want, which is to be with them!

Give you an example:
This straight couple I know broke up recently, I was shattered when they did as the boyfriend told me to keep believing in myself as good things come to those who wait. I talked to them both separately and while they are friends, they are both happy where they are even though both are single now.


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Posted

Well, it depends. If you feel that you need to be with someone to complete you, search for him. Well, not really search for him but he'll show up eventually. And who knows, he might end up being one of your best friends (just an example) Sometimes if we want happiness, we need to make it happen ourselves. If you expect it, you don't get any. If you make it happen, you MIGHT feel happiness, you might not, but you should feel good for doing a good deed.

Did this make ANY sense or a shred of sense? -^_^-


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JERRY_CAMPBELL
Posted

Absolutely, Trevor.


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